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I need your thoughts! When I crave porn, I feel unbalanced. After I watch porn, I feel... balanced

Discussion in 'Porn Addiction' started by Hue, Dec 27, 2018.

  1. Dec 27, 2018 #1
    Hue

    Hue New Fapstronaut

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    Men.

    I am in the darkest days of my addiction.

    Before I could last a week. Then I could last 3 days, and now... about only 1 - 2 days.

    Porn doesn't make me feel good. I feel like filth. But, after I do watch it, I feel... more balanced.

    I sense that in watching porn some kind of a HUMAN NEED is met. A NEED!

    That's why it's so addicting.

    There must be a way to meet THIS NEED without watching porn.

    I have thought this need to be many things:

    A sense of significance: porn makes you feel important, and loved

    A feeling of power: porn makes you feel like a champion

    Stress Relief

    Escapism

    I have even thought of the urge an an EMOTIONAL MESSAGE to achieve something that will also give me pleasure.

    So instead of thinking of the urge as a desire to fap to porn, I have tried thinking of it as a inner call for me to better myself in order to attract THE ONE into my life.

    But as I am single, every effort has been thwarted, as my desire for the orgasm always prevails.

    And I am forced to acknowledge that when I go without porn, I feel some kind of a pain, and when I watch it, that pain does go away. Very similar to hunger, yet consciously, I know that I don't need this 'food' to live... or do I? Perhaps I need to switch this food for something else.

    But what?

    I have a terrible headache.

    I need answers.

    Surprisingly there is still a bit of fluff and negativity on this website. I recall reading posts and comments: not all of them are helpful, but most are.

    There are indeed many principles a man can learn by reading here than by limiting himself to his own thoughts and experience.

    I will go searching and organizing information here and everywhere... onto a simple word document for my personal review and motivation BUT the thought occurred to me that someone has already done so.

    If anyone can send me articles, posts or collections of information about this addiction and how to defeat it, I would very much appreciate it but for now, I hope I can receive a solid answer to my original question form this post.
     
    Hue, Dec 27, 2018
    Hue, Dec 27, 2018
    #1
  2. Dec 27, 2018 #2
    Deleted Account

    Deleted Account Guest

    Your brain tricks you. Force yourself to have longer strike and you will get your answer fast. And remember this simply quote: "As long as your brain is occupied, you are free".
     
    Deleted Account, Dec 27, 2018
    Deleted Account, Dec 27, 2018
    #2
    Envoy-ofthe-End likes this.
  3. Dec 30, 2018 #3
    darylpoynter

    darylpoynter Fapstronaut

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    That is one of the many games that an addicted brain plays on us victims. I have observed this too. Sometimes you feel like it is a 'need' to masturbate. A couple of days after you start abstaining, your brain tells you that you have earned the right to fap now, to meet that 'need' now, because you have pained yourself by controlling for a few days. But it is a lie. It is a lie because it was NOT a need originally, before we got addicted. If we had never ventured so deep into this trash, our needs would have been different. You and I wouldn't have even known that porn addiction exists!

    The disadvantage we are in right now however, is that we are fighting against a corrupt version of ourselves who is a lot stronger than our good. I think that he has complete control of our body and also a good stronghold on our minds. We need to harness the part of our brain that he hasn't fully controlled - the part of us that is sane, that still knows that something is fundamentally wrong about thinking of porn as a need.

    I've read that a habit always sustains itself and that is what is happening here too.

    I would suggest to do the following:
    1. Identify your trigger. The one that is the most strong and obvious.
    2. Eliminate it. Show no mercy.
    3. Formulate a strategy - a fool proof one that you will religiously follow when you get an urge.
    4. Focus the time you've gained on what you've always wanted to do. (Start small. Very small)
    5. Record your progress. It is OK no matter how shorter periods you can stay on control.
    6. Relapsed? IT IS OK. Really OK. You might have encountered an unexpected trigger or even worse - might have listened to that corrupt version of yourself. Formulate another strategy for the other trigger, and learn to ignore the 'corrupt you'.

    Stay clean. Stay strong.
     
    darylpoynter, Dec 30, 2018
    darylpoynter, Dec 30, 2018
    #3

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