Appearance and attraction.

We all try and find the perfect ways to do things ,but these kind of things come out naturally. The simple fact at we overthink is what ruins our experiences.

Nowadays we need to let go all that superficiality and the overthinking.

It might sound cheesy, but just do you. Express whatever you think it's okay to and dont think too much. Do the things you like ,be the way you like to be. There are so many humans on this earth you will find dozens that would like something about you.

You know ,people who think less are usually happier and damn that's so true.

 

Sounds like you fell for the #metoo indoctrination. There's nothing wrong with being sexually attracted to the opposite sex and displaying it appropriately.

 

Why you are assuming that people will see you as disgusting pervert if you express attraction? From where this false belief that only for good looking people it is normal to express their sexuality?

 

I'll just leave you with a couple of pieces of advice here, although I don't consider myself an expert.

1. Go to work on yourself first and foremost. You say in your post that you don't consider yourself "good looking". Well, that may or may not be true, but ask yourself why you feel that way, then go to work on your weaknesses. That might mean working out, that might mean buying some better fitting clothes, it might mean getting your teeth whitened. Find out what your insecurities are and change them. Also challenge your views - are you really as ugly as you think? Look at some of the other guys who have amazing women with them -- are they all built like Brad Pitt? Probably not would be my guess. There are plenty of ugly chumps with "hot" women.

2. Look at what's going wrong in your approaches and try to fix it. Maybe you need to slow down a little. So many guys have had their expectations corrupted by porn that I really think this is the number one negative aspect of porn. Real life doesn't mean you turn up when some broad feels horny and you go at it right away. In the real world, people court each other. People go on dates without having sex right away. People take time and get to know each other. Just slow down, try different ways of saying "how's it going?" or "what's up?" Once she's comfortable with you and realises you're not a creep, then you can start to express sexual attraction. You might be the nicest, safest guy in the world, but the woman you approach for the first time doesn't know that. She'll need time to figure that out for herself.

3. You will get rejections. Every body does. Some women will even feel the need to be rude to you. That happens to everybody too. If a woman is ever rude or cruel to you, that says more about her than it does about you. She's broadcasting the type of person she is. The next question is do you really want that type of person in your life?

 

Unless you are Quasimodo ugly, you're an average looking guy. Maybe hit on a bunch of women and practice being social with them. After some practice, you're bound to score at some point.

 

Are u a pickup artist? lol
Very informative. Thanks you so much.

 

Remember that in order to give off an energetic and attractive vibe to people, the key is to not feel bad or thinking poorly about yourself but rather the total opposite. Because, when you are confident and feel good about yourself and act in a playful and easy way , you can easily show off some sexual attraction without coming off as creepy or needy.
Just remember that it has to come natural and from within. As soon as you put on a façade/mask, people will see it through right away, especially women.

 

I think what you have to understand about women is that sexual attraction comes from feelings and not so much looks. I'm not saying looks are not important for women, just the same way as feelings are also important for men. But generally men are more looks oriented and women are more feeling oriented. Maybe 80/20 or so, with very few exceptions. So even if you are ugly as hell, if you make her feel positive and enjoyable emotions, it is very easy for her to develop sexual attraction for you.

Because looks is not your advantage you have to rely on this. And it takes some time usually. You can not just approach a girl and ask her out immediately with success, like a hot looking model man could. Of course unless you are very skillful at pickup. There are plenty of skillful pickup artists who are ugly as hell and still get girls from cold approaches, because they are huge experts at psychology of activating certain feelings and emotions in others.

But for general guy who is not expert at this, you have to first start talking. If she comes from your friend cycle make her your friend too. And then after few days of interacting switch it around and start showing sexual attraction. Same goes for meeting somebody at work, school, local park, etc. Make acquaintances, stat interacting and make her feel good emotions and once you have established that you can consistently make her feel good emotionally start flirting and going for more.

This is simply a truth that you have to be aware of. This is how brain of women work, it's feeling based attraction. Just as for men it's look based attraction. Once you are aware of this fact the tricky part is to actually learn it. So you could make women feel a certain way.

It's too much to talk about but generally I divide overall charisma is 3 things; being funny, building tension and building security. If you build up too much psychological tension she will not feel safe enough with you and it won't work out, she will see you as a creep. If you build too much psychological security though there will not be sexual attraction, you will just get friend zoned. So it's important to balance those out. And being funny as a great tool how to build tension and release it.

I hate to say this but learning pickup is a great way how to learn those things. You can also look up "Charisma on Command" and "The Charisma Matrix" on Youtube to learn about social interaction in general. There is also good article art of manliness website called "A Case Study in Charisma from Tender Is the Night" as well as their "3 Elelemnts of charisma" article series. I'm too new here so I can not post links, just google that website and use search function on it to look for these articles. Just some things to get you started.

Cheers!