Seeing the World Through a "Porn Lens"?

your mind is so messed up from porn that you eventually start thinking like porn and seeing like porn, everything is perverted and nothing is pure anymore, but a reboot can get rid of all of that, it will take a couple months tho, and yes everything you described it accurate.

 

I have a theory, that every addiction has an obsessional flavor attached to it.

For example, I noticed sometimes, that smokers "caress" the cigarette in a certain way, before starting to smoke.

There is a reason certain bottles are shaped in a certain way that reminds about female body curves. And bottles were made this way long time before porn existed.

Does this mean all drinkers of all times were porn addicts ?

I believe there is research showing that the males are visually aroused by shapes built around the woman's waste to hip body ratio. By the way, so are blind people, but obviously not "visually".

Back to the obsessional factor, maybe all that is happening to your husband is "noticing" more somethings that are subconsciously arousing for all men that ever lived.

 

i dont think drinking curved bottles really makes you a porn addict, now it could trigger a porn addict but i have never heard anyone not addicted say something like that.

 

Sorry, now I realize a poor choice of words:

It's not "arousing", but more like drawn to.

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My comment is not about drinking, but "noticing shapes":

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Trigger ? Not what I meant. If that's the case, I misunderstood the OP.

Again, my comment was about "noticing".

 

Yes, there is definitely a lens and everything is sexualized, not only images, but movements, interactions, smells, tones of voice etc. I was just talking to my therapist some weeks ago how i was very pissed actually that the first kiss I had with a date i liked was so sexualized in my mind I got an erection. It was completely inappropriate. That however is NOT an excuse but a sign this is a very serious issue that needs to be addressed.

I remember that at a very bad time where I was very stressed, upset, tired etc I was working at 6 am (not having slept or eaten much for 2 days, gf broke up with me etc)... I was working as a video editor at a news station and I was editing a piece of news about whatever and using stock images of people walking down the street in summer. As I was skipping to find relevant scenes, for a split second I stumbled across an attractive woman walking somewhere in the frame. And again, this was for way less than a second, probably 1/10th of a second. I got erect. At work. That's when I knew things are really bad.

But that's not an excuse to whine about "how hard it is" (I did that for years, it will only make things worse). He has to own his issues and fix them. It will change but it's a lot of work (therapy, abstination etc). He's dealing with hypersexuality basically.

I don't disagree though that so many women nowdays dress too provocatively and the media and advertising is pushing this degeneracy... but the end game is to be repulsed by such vain women displaying their assets. For example I would never date a woman showing cleavage. Those breasts are for me to watch and enjoy, not others.

 

When we’re in the habit of seeing things in a certain way, (i.e. objectifying and sexualizing people, things, etc) depending on how long we’ve been conditioning ourselves to do that, it will be correspondingly difficult to change that. But, by changing the way we see people, and by not engaging in pmo, by taking up good, healthy habits, by trying to see things from others’ perspective, by trying to see that others have feelings, likes and dislikes, by trying to see their inner life, to see their heart and soul, it’s possible to change. I feel like I’ve made some progress, but still have a long way to go!

At times I’ve seen women through a very physical lens, but when I put effort into changing that perception, it changes. When I put effort into thinking of their feelings and likes, etc, I tend to develop more compassion. Overall, yes it’s gotten better and I’m working on my lust and not seeing women that way. Also, it doesn’t take much to backslide into old ingrained habits and I have to stay vigilant.

Lust seems to be a very deep and powerful universal habit, and modern day porn use has almost certainly increased it, but those of us fighting it, man, we are a pocket of sanity in the world! It might not get that much better overall, but thanks to nofap and other things like it, we can help the problem for those that really want to change. Hope that’s helpful and good luck!

 

I guess I never thought about this- but now that you mention it, yes. I feel like I see the world through a porn lens.

Everyone has taboo fantasies and really there is nothing wrong with that if you’re healthy about it.

But in my world, I constantly think about USING women like objects. And I don’t want to do it and I don’t feel human sometimes because of it. But the majority of the P I watch deals with rough degradation - slapping, spitting, choking, etc.

As an example, I’ll be walking around in the office. And I’ll see a woman that I’ve spoken too a million times. But I get a sudden urge for sex and I imagine really rough play with them. I start to wonder how they’d react to it, or even how they’d react to me after it’s over. They aren’t even rape fantasies. They’re more like these porn-like scenarios that would never happen.

I wouldn’t even say that it’s indiscriminate, but I will have these thoughts about a woman in her 20s just as soon as I’d have it about a woman in their mid 50s.

In my world, or “through my lens” as you put it, it would be a normal thing to get a hotel and ravage a 52 year old the same way I would a 25 year old.

I feel so much shame. I know I have a problem but I’m so afraid to fight. I never thought I’d be here in this position.

 

I don't think you have a problem. I think you may just be beating yourself up just a bit. Every person has fantasies, every single person. You are just expressing yours and self sabotaging yourself in the process. There are women who actually enjoy the things you have expressed. You're completely fine. To be honest, I believe that the world has sort of feminized men to be more considerate to women. I believe males primal natural lizard brain is to use women for sex.


Now we have "politically" correct. You're sabotaging comes from you judging yourself based on what society has told you what is right and what is wrong.

 

Yea definitely. To me the porn lens is when you are beginning to differentiate between real mental arousal with women to the objective lens of porn addiction which is soul destroying after w long time.

It does go away but your husband has to commited to not watch porn again. A relapse will activate the pathways he has conditioned and it turns into a vicious circle.

 

I think everything is about balance. Porn changes tastes and attitudes. A friend of mine is a policeman. He was telling me about staying balanced so as not to view the world through a negative lense. He has to deal with all sorts of and situations on a daily basis and it’d be easy to have warped view of the world. Porn is bad, social media and the news can also mess with people

 

I don't think it's us PMO/fappers that look at things for the sexual content. In know that certain newspapers are know for sexy photos on page six.Most news shows on TV have some sexy newscasters .
As far as inate objects shaped being shaped like a female body part, in the mid fifties the front bumpers on Cadillacs had projections that where nicknamed Dagmars, a busty actress and television perosonalty of that era.

 

It's not just from becoming a PMO addict. The whole world, especially the western world, is filled with P-subs and S-related content. It's everywhere - ads, books, magazines, newspapers, TV shows, movies, songs, how people choose to dress (both men and women) - gradually these things sink their teeth into people's subconscious.