Conflicted

Hey Recovering PA,

First of all, take it easy on yourself. It sounds like you're experiencing a lot of guilt about a lot of things. Your counter says you're at 37 days, and if this is true, then I would get rid of the fleshlight. If, however, you've been experiencing regular relapses, then a fleshlight might be a good idea until you have enough success that you're not physically harming yourself (I don't entirely know what death grip is, but I have a general idea and it sounds like it's not physically healthy).

As far is the woman is concerned, remember, she's in charge of her own decisions. It's not up to you to worry about her depression. If she knew about your issues, she might be thinking, "I'm really struggling with depression and there's this guy I want to contact, but I really don't want to hurt him because I'm not in a good place right now and he has PIED." Focus on yourself and what's best for yourself. If you think getting involved with another woman is the best thing for you at this point in time, then go for it. She can make her own decisions about what's best for her.

Consider your own circumstances and what's best for yourself in the long term. Think about what your current goals are and whether getting involved with this woman will deter them or support them. Best of luck, and remember, whatever you end up doing is fine. We are all doing the best we can given our circumstances, and we often don't fully understand what our circumstances are and the extent to which they effect us.