struggling again - sissy bbc

After that long abstaining maybe you have settled as bi. Some people are and if so, is that so bad. Just make sure you have reset yourself and have not been edging and relapsing this whole time.

 

My post above was a reaction. Not really helpful. Imagine telling your loved ones about this addiction. That’s what I did. What would people I care about think if they knew I jacked off to P?! This addiction pulls people away from reality.

Abstain from it all and your tastes will change! You can do it brother

 

It does not sound like you have been streaking for 102 days. You have been edging for 102 days. You haven't really gotten clean you just think that

 

I think it's going to take you longer to reboot. I agree with @Maninsearchofasoul that you have not rebooted yet because you are still fantasizing. It may take you 1 full year to reboot, but try to take it step by step, have your next goal be 180 days.

 

I have had similar struggles mate, and when in relationships it’s the hardest.
But like you, hiding a secret kinky side. Now your girlfriend could have a secret kinks of pegging?! Because that could work in both of your favour.

 

I struggled with sissy hypno too and it got worse when I lost my virginity to a girl. Don't get me wrong I like women more than anything but with porn comes novelty chasing and that's exactly the problem. There's a craving for "unexplored" territory and after a couple of years of being addicted to porn and seeing dicks all of the time there's a possibility your brain will focus on that and start getting aroused by it.

If you don't like men in real life the last thing you want to do is listen to these people pushing the lbgt agenda because they have no fucking idea of what pain and obsessions this fetish can cause for an otherwise straight guy.

If you're like me you'll have masturbated to the men in straight porn but will have disliked gay porn. This clearly demonstrates obsessions over feminin beauty gone bad. You need to abstain from porn at all costs.

 

Does any of what you described in your post make you happy?

I that the life you want for your self?

---

Get your self back in to the 'zone' and make a clean break from all these addictive behaviours.

 

Edging is holding off ejaculation to extend pleasure as much as possible, so masturbating to porn for hours to get as high with pleasure as possible.

Not sure what exactly is causing this fetish but there's a clear connection to desensitization, conditioning, submission fetishes and obsessions with feminin beauty, ie. liking women so much you want to act like one or identify as one, if that makes sense. I thought it was just me doing this and I was absolutely confused but apparently porn addiction eventually causes this type of thing. Porn involves a lot of psychology and is basically a learning process. It's always out with the old and in with the new and monkey sees monkey does kind of stuff in case of really bad addiction. There's a part of the primitive brain that will go to great lenghts to keep the reward center in your brain going and releasing endorphins and it won't care too much about morals or even gender. This is why you eventually have things like TG or sissy fetishes.

 

I feel you brother. That kinda porn is the exact reason I made this account because I realised things have gone too far. Started getting scared that I'd permanently f*ck up my brain and never have a normal relationship in the future because of it. I hope you keep up trying to break free and can one day come back here and tell us about how you overcame it

This is anecdotal, but in my case I've noticed that my urges for that kinda porn massively increases when I already feel down. So if I'm already feeling depressed/anxious/sad etc I'm way more likely to approach porn that humiliates the viewer. It's like my brain has learnt to handle negative emotions in this twisted way. So yeah, try and see if there is a similar connection in your case as well. Understanding why our urges arise is very important. Specially because this kind of porn can give one an existensial crisis of sorts as well regarding ones sexuality. I've a very hard time right now deciding what is actually a turn on for me and what is just a product of years of obsessive PMO.

Good luck!

 

I believe you haven't fully not masturbated or watched porn. You may have continued to stimulate yourself just without ejaculating and thus don't truly have a 102 streak.

 

dont feel bad, i was addicted to sissy bbc porn to, after i threw my dildos away i still kept doing it, i used cucumbers countless times, funny thing is i was looking at the cucumber in the fridge earlier and thinking about how i used those so much, but i said to myself that is not me anymore, its just a vegetable and nothing more, its for eating, because that is what healthy people use it for, dont put any thought into it, because that is not you anymore!.

 

Man you are speaking from my mouth... you described EXACTLY my situation.

 

This is the most real advice you will get on this subject. Please everyone suffering, heed it.

 

I know it's very hard.

I am battling with something that I had as a child. My main fetish I had well before P and well before I even knew what the word fetish meant.

But along with Nofap is the concept of semen retention. Google it and research it. Even if it's not true just the idea of 'maybe' is a powerful incentive not to PMO.

Start with this article for example:

https://www.brojo.org/info/semen-retention

 

should we make a separate discord for guys dealing with this fetish and similar hard stuff? I think people in this category find it really hard to resist and edge even when doing no pmo challenges. Let me know if anyone needs an acquaintance for the support in doing NoFap.

 

I tried a while a go to make one but some of my posts got struck down due to more than 20 people in the discord group. So it's tricky. You can make one just can't really advertise it if it gets popular.