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Porn vs normal body standards

Discussion in 'Rebooting in a Relationship' started by TheGreenPotato, Jan 10, 2019.

  1. TheGreenPotato

    TheGreenPotato Fapstronaut

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    Hi everyone!

    I am in a relationship of only less than half a year and we have mostly been doing long distance. We have a really good relationship and we care for each other a lot.

    I am struggling a little bit because her body doesnt match the expectations I have (probably from porn). She is fairly flat chested which kind of bothers me a little bit. I feel conflicted because I feel like I should grow up, and I love her a lot so I dont like to think this about her. I am also the first person she has had sex with, so she also hasn't had much experience, so I think I should give her time to learn about it.

    I'm not sure how to deal with this. How do you guys deal with porn bodies vs normal bodies?

    Thank you.
     
  2. NF4L

    NF4L Fapstronaut

    Are you asking how to deal with reality versus unreality? Or are you asking how your chosen mate can meet the false expectations in image you had of them? Or you asking how you can get over the constant pollution of your mind with some specific body or boob type you’ve spent countless hours, days, years viewing, saving, searching for, and masturbating to?

    One way you can deal with it is to stop PMO. Through this you can stop idealizing a specific image or body type, and reinforcing it with an orgasm. These type of actions and your search for certain types normalize them for you, and create expectations you probably aren’t going to find satisfied by most people, or any one person. You can keep searching all you want, but you will never find one person that will quite measure up as science and physics will always win. Gravity takes hold and time always moves forward.

    I can tell you by stopping using P and Psubs, and feeding an addiction to it, your chosen make will become your much more idealize mate you wanted. No one can measure up in their understanding, the trust and love you have for them, and even anyone else you might see becomes incomparable to them.

    When I met my wife I was a boob guy, but because of her I became an ass man. Now that I found recovery, I am her man, as no one else will measure up to her.
     
  3. That is well said.
     
    TheGreenPotato likes this.
  4. jwitcher

    jwitcher Fapstronaut

    Wow, I actually agree to this post.
    Always respect your woman for who she is - the stupid expectations porn gives us are just illusions.
    Give up on P and P-subs, none of that shit is real, and it makes intimacy much more twisted than it actually is.
    Also, what Ghost said - you're gonna have to tell her that you've been using porn for a long time...and prepare yourself.
    Good luck, mate.
     
    Trappist and TheGreenPotato like this.
  5. TheGreenPotato

    TheGreenPotato Fapstronaut

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    Thank you very much everyone for your replies. I haven't watched porn and masturbated in a bit over a year, but I still feel its effects. I have been watching movies lately and found they have been provoking me a little bit, which has been a bit frustrating.

    I think you are right, that with time I will really learn what love is, and that it is more than what porn tells me. I should trust that and not let my past habits/false expectations lead me because as you guys say, they will never be satisfied. I should instead focus on building a closer relationship and trust this will be better than what my past addictions tell me. It is a bit scary for me to put this much trust, but I guess that is what relationships are about.

    Unfortunately I probably won't see her in person for a little while, I feel like something as serious as pornography addiction should be discussed in person. I think it is important not to hide, and I can't pretend it isn't effecting me as by this post.

    Thank you very much everyone again for taking time to read and reply to my post.
     
    Jennica and Trappist like this.
  6. mcgrim

    mcgrim Fapstronaut

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    If you truly love her why would you let something like this bother you?

    Ask yourself why something so superficial would bother you in any way? Ask yourself what was it that attracted you to her in the first place?

    Only you can answer those questions and you might want to dig down deep inside yourself because people change over time and do you want superficial things to ruin a great relationship?
     

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