LAST MEN STANDING FOREVER CHALLENGE daily check in

Yes but I just did a 30h dry fast, I'm not muslim but I have friends doing the Ramadan each year so I know about this practice! I try to incorporate at least a 24h dry fast weekly and it helps me to regulate everything. Yes it's true Nofap becomes real easy when we're fasting, there's really a correlation about eating a lot of food and having urges!

 

Checking in, 23 days

 

Day 60, Thanks God
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Day 9- Sorry for the long post

Abstinence is not recovery. This is a statement I have come across in various forms quite a number of times in various recovery forums such as in recoverynation.com, blogs and in the book Treating Pornography Addiction. I never really quite understood this statement until recently. Behind all compulsive behaviors are underlying toxic emotions that have been memorized by the body. It therefore holds that the best measure of recovery is whether we are healing from the toxic emotions in our bodies or have let go of these emotions.

A few days ago a friend recommended that I read a book called Healing the Shame that Binds You by John Bradshaw. I was so depressed because of my relapse 9 days ago. He told me that if I really wanted to get my compulsive behaviors under control I would need to let go of toxic shame. He had been an alcoholic once upon a time. Being a person who loves reading, I decided to get the book despite having other books to read. Yesterday, I had tears running down my face as I now realized the scale of my problem. The source of my addiction is linked to toxic shame that I developed in childhood. I did have a good idea of why I was addicted to porn because I always felt worthless since I was child. However, I did not know with a degree of exactness where the sense of worthlessness came from. Now I have a concrete idea of the root cause of my addiction and this will definitely help me in recovering once and for all.

I honestly believe now that doing inner work, that is, working on changing our personality, releasing and healing from memorized or trapped emotions that have dogged us for decades is the real measure of recovery. While changing our lifestyle habits can go a long way to help in recovery, I believe they can just as well paper over the underlying cracks and lull us into thinking that we have everything under control. Cultivating new habits such as doing exercise, taking cold showers, scheduling our day and religiously following the schedule e.t.c are great. But in themselves new habits do not address the core issue underlying the compulsive behavior. In his book, Breaking the Habit of Being Yourself, Dr Joe Dispenza expertly brought out that in order to create a new reality, we need to create a new personality. It is almost impossible to change for the better, if memorized/trapped negative emotions within our bodies are not dealt with. Now I see the connection. I have held toxic shame within my body for so long that despite going for quite some time without porn, I still come back to it. It has been 20 years of addiction. It seems like porn and I are ‘friends’ for life. However, it is because I have not properly addressed the root cause and dealt with the memorized toxic shame.

In essence, what I am struggling to say is, abstinence is only a small part of recovery. It is not recovery. We may simply be treating the symptoms while the underlying emotional cause remains unchecked continuing to wreak havoc in our lives.

I recommend those who can to read the book by John Bradshaw. Maybe it will help you to gain a deeper understanding on why you are addicted or even why you may feel worthless.

Anyway these are just my thoughts after months of reading and research trying to find the answer why I am the way I am.

All the best guys!

 

298

 

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nice thanks for sharing! can relate to this.

 

I totally agree with you 1855.

 

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Day 20!

 

This quote never showed up in my alerts that’s strange!

How did you do the 30 hour dry fast? Was any drinking water involved?

A lot of food and urges, it’s called gluttony it’s in the bible. Anyone eating more than 1-2 meals a day goes to hell says Jesus and the other prophets. But only with Organic food is it possible to restrain yourself to eat 2 meals a day .. western food is different it’s all plastic void of nutrients. It makes you wanna eat more n more n fall ill. Fasting is awesome and all the saints practice it regularly it restrains their lust. I personally haven’t fasted for few years now but I started at 9 years old right uptill mid 20s. It really is a different experience all together especially when done in the cooler or special months.

 

Check in Day 293.
Still on meds. Because of it can’t get a fully erect libido. Last night ever so slightly it rubbed against the mattress whilst erect partially. When I went to sleep I saw paranoia or shooting stars going off in my head. This could be 1 of two things, one where meds are tampering with the dopamine inhibitors in the same area that nofap is working on trying to cure, or, second where under these meds I’m actually cured from masturbation as I’m on day 293 and the slight rubbing on mattress probably sparked off excitement in brain . Something or the other.

I’m still reading soaring eagles book on rebooting as best remedy. Anyone else reading it?

 

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I started reading the book by soaring eagle sometime back though I stopped for some reason. I agree wholeheartedly with the point on 'brainwashing' ourselves and gaining knowledge on PMO everyday.

 

10 days no pmo achieved! Next milestone is 14 days!

 

I'm reading it too plus " Practice of brahmacharya "

Day 61
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relapsed yesterday at 24, good side of it i dont feel shame or guilty this time... journey restarts, no doubt upon that.

 

Started reading the frist recommended book and also saw on youtube a talk by him. Really good points. Thanks a lot for sharing! Will read trought this 12 steps program.

 

No water involved during the 30h dry fast but I have experienced with this! I started doing 12h and when it became easier a little longer, so my body is trained for this and I do it only during my rest days! I can't go to work and do a full day dry fast, I did it in the past but it's just too hard. I know that food and urges is biblical, and I've experienced it in real life that's why I'm speaking about it. Fasting is definitately something that we should incorpore in our weekly or monthly routine, people don't know enough about it.