The 2019 X90 Hard Mode High Accountability Elimination Challenge

Checking in. Tough day yesterday, lots of spinning in my head, lots of emotions.

I'm very very fortunate to have a loving and caring gf who helped me thru some stress and fear I was experiencing.

Today I'm doing great. I'm listening to this book called The Untethered Soul which talks about our conscience and the voice in your head.

I've read it before but forgot much of it. I'm quite amazed at how much I run my life on emotions. I'm being very observant of that today.

Hope you guys are doing great!!

 

Great job. I get the Instagram thing. I love all the pictures of nature, vacation islands, beautiful places around the world, cars I like etc etc. But theres so many distractions which have been triggering me lately. I uninstalled it yesterday but this morning I went to the site to show my gf this neat picture of a shark I saw. But my brain is like, you should reinstall it, you can handle this.

Yeah maybe, but maybe I want to get my mind straight first. Maybe if I delay a year and get my mind clear, I can come back and enjoy it safely.

I'm not even mentioning the waste of time it is either.

Take care.

 

Yes its literally everywhere. As we withdraw from our addictions we notice it alot more because our brains want it more.

After some time of not indulging you might even get tired of it and then you'll see it less and itll not phase you.

I quit drinking 9 years ago after many years of alcoholism and it was very much like that. Today I can go to a bar, be around people drinking and not care at all about it.

I notice how wrapped up people are into it but to me now, it's just a waste of time, too many empty calories and I truly want to experience life with out any filters of altering effects.

Take care

 

I feel goal-driven and focused mentality in you, that's great. OK so if you know what you want and realise that you get distracted because of the addiction then come up with a plan what will be your replacements for the time you used to spend feeding your addiction.
For me planning my time is crucial as well as sticking to a few new habits such as: going to bed early and getting up early, exercising first thing in the morning (followed by cold shower), then meditating, affirmations, reading and writing. I logged off social media for 90 days including youtube and various chat apps which waste my time, various online news portals full of triggering ads, reduced caffeine to 1 cup of coffee max per day, no booze, conscious time for myself. I also recently completed a one-month long online program run by a psychologist and aimed on strengthening self-confidence - soon its Level 2 will start (two months long) and I will get there. I have bought a planner for me where I write my goals for the week, month, year with regular reviewing after. This is what works for me. I chose to change my mindset though I could have stayed in a victim mode, whining about hardships of being a single mom with no regular help, masturbating to porn almost every night before sleep and being non-existent for kids while in this addiction. I hit the bottom and I chose a different path. When you choose to think differently, miracles happen and you start attracting the right people, the right circumstances into your life.

 

That's awesome Fleurette, you're an inspiration to us all.

Did you hit this bottom 37 days ago? (I'm guessing at the number because I cannot actually see it on my phone).

If you dont mind sharing the online course, please do. You can also PM it to me.

You're right when you make the decision to change things happen. You're focused on what you want, you notice things that work for you and things just magically start to happen for you.
It's all in how we look at things. Our focus changes and everything else changes. As Wayne Dyer said "when we change the way we look at things, the things we look at change."

Excellent job!!!

 

No that was not 37 days ago, it was I guess well before the divorce and in the first six months after it but then I stumbled upon this course first time in autumn 2017 and decided to try it, this was my first step forward I guess. Last year I tried a few other online trainings on Sedona method which helped me a lot - so maybe this was gradual process for me. When I decided to try NoFap I didn't know that it would boost my self-confidence even more and naturally filter toxic people out of my life. I now constantly feel that sexual energy in my background, pulsating and alive, and this gives me an interesting feeling, as if I am being slowly and subtley teased and feel pleasure wherever I go and whatever I do - provided that I'm present and mindful. I know I could release it and feel great for a moment but in this way I'm feeling it like in bits and constantly and then I feel more alive.
Thanks for support This course is local and not in English sorry

 

Awesome! He has a second book where he talks about his life which I found interesting, it's called the Surrender Experiment, that's good read. He basically surrendered to life and just about didn't say no to anything just to see where life would take him and he has had a fascinating life.

I'm only at the beginning, chapter 3 I believe. He's talking about samskara's and an open heart.

 

That's incredible, thank you for sharing. Nofap does boost your confidence, it's really powerful.

 

Here's today's scoreboard, great job everyone

@I_AM_AWESOME 19.00
@lolman123 19.00
@glnb8 17.00
@Equanimous_breathtoair 16.50
@Hammerhand2202 15.00
@Daniel1 11.50
@JustForTodayz 9.00
@rkim 9.00
@fleurette 9.00
@biokat 3.00

 

Check in day 39, yay, day 40 here I come ❤

 

Awesome, congratulations !

 

Awesome keep up the good work!