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Too much porn memories

Discussion in 'Rebooting - Porn Addiction Recovery' started by PMO addict1, Jan 21, 2019.

  1. PMO addict1

    PMO addict1 Fapstronaut

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    I just relapsed after 22 days streak ... now again on day 2 .. the problem is I am always having the memory of porn scenes on which i fapped no matter where i am., in public , road ,in car no matter how much i take away my focus from them it is atill yhere ... how to handle this .... i am fearing this mermories will cause me another relapse ....plz answer
     


  2. Check out that video first. Next, some visualisation and mindful thinking. So, as you know, some of the actors are forced into their role as stated in the video above. This renders them innocent because they may be desperate to earn money in order to survive. Now, imagine innocent people, be it your mother, your siblings, your cousins, your children even and put them in a porn video. Dare yourself to watch it. Dare yourself. Disgusting? Sorry if I'm crude, but this is the reality. Put yourself in their shoes. If you can't forget the thoughts, then look at it from a different perspective. Your negative self views it as pleasure, but your cognitive abilities as a human are much stronger than that; we've built skyscrapers, calculated galaxy radii, observed viruses; surely there's more in you; believe in yourself. Imagine meeting the parents of an innocent school boy, imagine shaking the hand of an orphan's caretaker, and telling them you watch porn starring them. It's so twisted, but in this day and age, twisted is the norm. I hope you find this useful, thank you.
     
  3. Spikey Cloud

    Spikey Cloud Fapstronaut

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    That fairly normal. I don't want to get too deep in this. But you probably have did this so many times that it has become an unconscious habbit. You can compare this with driving lessons. In the beginning you need to think with every step. How to shift gears, finding the gas panel, watching traffic. Evetually with doing it again and again, it becomes a habit and you can drive automatically without thinking about it.

    The same goes with your porn thoughts - you did that so often that they are automatic habbits that your mind plays automatically. You don't choose those thoughts, they just pop up automatically Just observe them and let them pass by and go further what you were doing. They will get less and less as time passes.
     
  4. Read Charles Duhigg's book on The Power of Habit. More knowledge on the matter will help, Insha Allah.
     
    PMO addict1 and boichy like this.
  5. Eventually they'll vanish, I doubt it that you have a mind that can't forget, it simply will, people even forget the faces of their relatives afer a few years of having died.
     
  6. Spikey Cloud

    Spikey Cloud Fapstronaut

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    He doesn't have to forget. he just needs to train his mind with other more healty patterns and habits.
     
  7. Yes he has to forget. But obviously you don't forget by forcing yourself to forget, that's not how forgetting works.
    As a Spanish song says: "Se me olvidó que te olvidé". "I forgot that I forgot you".
     
  8. I certainly found it helpful! Thanks for the post.
     
  9. Hey guys,

    Hope to nip this one in the bud. Let’s not get into a squabble about this. This is a good topic the OP brings up and everyone can bring good info to the discussion. We might not agree 100% with each other but we all can agree that the ultimate goal is not to be a slave to our addictions.

    Let’s allow disagreements between us to pass and keep things open for others inputs on this important issue.
     
    Last edited by a moderator: Jan 21, 2019
  10. I used to do the same thing. Fantasies were my Porn for a while. As you let those thoughts drift out of your mind you will develop a reflex to acknowledge the thoughts and let them go. It’s really tough at first. But just like strength training the more you do it the easier it becomes. I find that there are certain times when those thoughts are more enticing like when I’m tired, lonely or bored. I try and make counter attack strategies when I’m feeling strong in order to prepare for times of weakness. Best of luck to you! Keep going, the first few weeks are really tough! You can do it though. Look for ways to divert your attention to other activities.
     
  11. 4DCreator

    4DCreator Fapstronaut

    I remember the face of my friend from 31 years ago very clearly, never seen him afterward. Sorry to hear about your poor memory :emoji_joy:
     
  12. Spikey Cloud

    Spikey Cloud Fapstronaut

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    Yes that's what I meant ;)
     
  13. Yep I’m with you there. I still remember clearly the very first porn pictures I saw and the very first porn movie I watched back in the late 70’s. I don’t think those memories will fad until I’m in my late 70’s!!!
     
  14. Don't worry, I have an excellent memory. People forgetting about relatives' faces is true though, if you don't, good for you, I hope it's not because you have pics, that'd be funny.
    I still remember porn scenes that I watched 12 years ago, but that's not what forgetting means. "I forgot that i forgot you", that doesn't mean my mind can't remember you if someone or something triggers it. Those porn scenes that I remember certainly don't come to my mind randomly, because I forgot them, I remember them only if I intentionally try to do so.
     
  15. Spikey Cloud

    Spikey Cloud Fapstronaut

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    This is correct, there is a huge difference between conscious memories that you choose to remember and unconscious memories that are triggered automatically/random.
     
  16. seaguy44

    seaguy44 Moderator Assistant

    To my surprise for the first time in my first 90 day streak, the memories actually start to fade away. But they go back when you resume porn. So IT can happen. I remember feeling strange at one point when I realize I couldn't remember what it's like to watch porn... that was really weird.

    It's a process, a journey. Take it a day by a day and it will happen.
     
  17. I second this. If you choose to forget it and stop thinking about it, eventually it will be no longer brought up over and over again. If I try hard I can remember vague details about porn I used to view. But I don’t try to remember anymore. And I no longer think about it. Every once in a while an old memory will pop up but it doesn’t have nearly the effect that it used to have on me. When the memory comes back I can easily dismiss it. Newer porn memories can easily trigger me if I let them. But day by day I’m letting those go as well.
     
  18. Spikey Cloud

    Spikey Cloud Fapstronaut

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    Well forcing yourself not thinking about it obvs doesn't work. It's the same as I ask you now not the think about the pink elephant. It is very likely that you are thinking about a red elephant right now. It's often does goes away if you focus your attention on something else.
     
  19. I agree, in order to stop thinking about it (especially when those memories are fresh and especially triggering) you have to displace those thoughts by thinking about something else.
     
  20. David1221

    David1221 Fapstronaut

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    Don’t fear it. Understand what’s going on.
    Your brain is trying to get the dopamine high from the porn. You have to constantly battle your brain. It’s going to use these memories to get you to watch porn again
    It gets easier over time. Just ignore it and take it’ day by day.’
     

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