Failed to make it through a period of loneliness

Hi darylpyonter,

It's huge that you decided to consciously examine the way you behave. First and foremost, you've got to make sure, that you love yourself and that you're doing the best you can!
If an urge comes up, try to step out of it and really examine what you need right now. If it is loneliness, then try to call someone. Even if it is your mother/father/brother. If none of them can provide some basic conversation, try call a friend/work or school colleague, anything. Think of the HALT rule - Hungry, Angry, Lonely, Tired. Anytime you are hungry, eat something. If you are angry, try to calm down and really look at why you're angry, then make a decision. If you're lonely, as I said call someone. And if you are tired, take a timeout and sleep. Our bodies don't work as well when we are in one of those states. That is what works for me at the moment. Feel free to read through my blog: https://www.nofap.com/forum/index.php?threads/simons-reboot-journal-25-m.126372/ I don't say, that i am the best example at how to handle this addiction, but i do my best
Stay strong, brother.
Much love to you! <3

 

Porn is probably a symptom of a bigger problem in your life. Try talking to a therapist to get to the root of the issue.

 

I am also quite alone. But i have come to like the idea that self love, and top notch self care is the baseline. Not externalising our power.

The major game changer for me is this: with quiting any addiction, i felt it was hard (and to be honest, it still sometimes is very very difficult to do nofap succesfully, i should not get overconfident), but tackling the addiction is mostly something that happens in the mind. We crave the addict substance or behaviour, because we value it. We feel it has something to offer (pleasure, excitement, comfort...). If we don't value something, we don't crave it. When i take a close look at the pmo addiction, i can see it did not bring me anything valuable, but only harmed me, brought down the quality of my life.
I was a heavy smoking addict, and tried to quit several times, without succes. I still valued, and craved the smoking. Now i don't feel like i "can not smoke" but that "i dont have to smoke, i'm free". I dont value or crave it anymore at all..
Pmo addiction might be slightly different, because the sexual impulse is a natural, biological impulse. But i have come to understand that pmo, is cheating on nature, it gives the illusion (reward) of accomplishment, while in actuallity, nothing is achieved.
Sometimes i still crave or think about pmo, but the idea that it is not worth craving for, has helped me tremendously

 

You're not alone brother. Instead of sitting alone in your house, what else could you do? We're always here if you want to reach out like you did.

 

Hey bro, it's not only during an urge, but just viewing this lifestyle in general as a blessing, and not as a chore. The perceived pleasure can be very real I guess (i would lie if i said fapping doesnt feel good), but there are so many things in life that feel good but are not good, not healthy. So maybe we can say that with pmo there is a trading of short term pleasure versus (longer term) struggle, less energy, less confidence, name it all. I would say it can be seen like a very bad trade. But yeah, i definitely have to stay vigilant too! Let's keep it going mate!

 

Thank you. Let me know if there's any other videos I can make to help you. Perhaps I will do one on getting out of isolation.