Introduction

Welcome. You;ve take the first two most important steps.

1) Acknowledge this problem and agree with negative impact it has on your life
2) Reach out to help.

I am in no way qualified to talk about the sexual abuse. I am sorry that happened. Plenty of sex abuse victims have taken steps to mitigate the impact of that trauma, you can too. Please Please Please reach out to a professional for that (therapist that specializes in sexual abuse ). This is not the place for that. Keep us updated when you make an appt to see a therapist and let us know how that goes. There is no shame in seeking out help. This will give you the power over your trauma vs the trauma having power over you.

Regarding the masturbation, you;ve found the perfect spot.

Most of the research on porn addiction is centered around men.

Do you know what causes your urge to masturbate? I know the answer for men, but not for woman. It could be very different.
Have you googled for more info on this. It is likely similar to men in that all based on bio-chemistry in your brain.

But please know this.

- The urges you have to masturbate are not bad
- You are certainly not bad because of urges
- You can beat this. but first step is educate yourself on the biochemistry, dopamine, etc

 

Welcome to the forums. My life was destroyed by porn aswell. We will give you all the support that we can