100 days! Hard mode

Hello all! This is an insight into my journey. My struggles and how I feel after I reached here on day 100 two days ago..
I was 26 when I started this journey, and I was not having a good life and I was unable to cope up with the hardships of real life. For me, PMO was an escape. Smoking was an escape, Marijuana was an escape and mobile video games was an escape. YouTube, Netflix, etc were all other sorts of escpaes for me. This is something I have realized in the hindsight. In order to avoid the tough situations if life I was altering between 1 escape to another. Slowly, I was realizing the my life was massively fucked up and decided to do everything possible to change it and become who I really was deep down.

I started off with noFap in 2017, did it for some 16 days and relapsed, and back again in pmo for 17 months. May 2018 I gave another strong try, with an AP. But fell down to chaser effect after having sex with a woman on Day 55. After that I was back into daily Pmo again.

The current attempt : I realized I had to change something massively. So I quit Smoking cigarettes, fapping, drinking and marijuana all at once. I was severely clouded for the first few days, but I leaned heavily on Mobile games to distract my thoughts from fapping.

At every stage of noFap when I was having doubts I luckily came across some stuff that really multiplied my motivation
1) Your brain on Porn
2) Semen retention
3) Semen reabsorption
And, of course I had a wonderful AP in Jayaiko along the way. I did notice some benefits along the way, but nothing out of the world.

But, after Day 80 things really started changing. People seem to want to talk to me, they started respecting me and my own confidence took a massive upswing. I started becoming aware about my emotional state of mind, there by being alert about my thoughts. Meditation has helped me a lot, the desire to be the best version of myself has helped me as well.

I won't go much into the benefits, as almost everything everybody else reports is true. Most of the benefits are not because of NoFap, but because of the things you do without the cloud. So it sets a chain reaction of good things in life, which in turn bring better things in life.

Struggles : How much ever strong motivation and determination you build, there are going to be times when your brain will come up with undeniable rationale to fap. These are the moments where you need to take a leap of faith, ignore these rationales. It's actually pretty unbelievable the way our brain works, and the things it does to get what it wants. You need to remind yourself or you need someone (Maybe your AP) in these moments of faith to tell you to ignore the reasoning of your brain.
The brain might even start giving you rationale to not reach out for help. Take a deep breath in such moments and practice meditation and watching thoughts only to tackle these moments.

These moments, where you are the most vulnerable have to be cracked only and only with a leap of faith and hope, and you'll be stronger after every vulnerable moment you cross.

That's, all from my side! I wish all of you the best possible outcome from this journey. Nobody else can make it for you. You and you only have to this for yourself.

 

It's a life changing decision!