I. A. Accountability group???

I've been in touch with a staff member to create a group for I.A., I sent a message on Wednesday and he got back to me today. He said he will set the group up and asked what it should be called. He said he hadn't heard anything about I.A. so I explained a little so he could see what it was about. I asked for it to be called I.A. 12 step group.

I was also thinking about timezones, depending where all the members are we could possibly do a once a week discussion where we are all online at the same time.

If there are any suggestions or other thoughts I am happy for everyone to have there say. I just think it would benefit us all to have a group like this and I really want to be a part of it.

B

 

In

 

Can I ask why it needs to be at least 10?

 

Night 5 of my 3 I.A. dailies I share with my wife.

I have been liking doing this with my wife because it gets us sitting down together and really communicating about feelings. I betrayed my wife for our whole relationship, I was never honest and my outlook on her and other women was totally insane. So there are going to be times when we are talking about feelings where my wife is going to express pain and hurt and how she sees herself and me has changed so much from before she found everything out. I gaslight her for years always saying there was nothing wrong and turning the tables around on her. I have to accept things are like this because of my selfishness, always putting me first and never considering others. Especially my wife who I intentionally withheld myself from for all our time together when she was the one I should have been sharing myself with. It's on me, I need to be strong here and consider my wife and her feelings and that's what I'm going to do.

B

 

Night 6 of my 3 I.A. dailies I share with my wife.

It was hard to listen to my wife's feelings last night and it was more of the same at times tonight during these dailies. That statement though " it was hard to listen". I guess it's a massive sticking point for PAs. I've seen it so many times, read about it so much. That defensive mindset kicks in and you really struggle to accept you've been so wrong for the entirety of your relationship. In my case it's most of my life. I had a rupture in my life and I let it affect me an unbelievable amount. This sucks, this is the last thing your SO wants to hear. It is not right, if you are in this mind frame your being selfish. I have to keep telling myself " no your wrong, being selfish is only considering you. Stop".

I was Grateful after the dailies my wife told me of her struggles with doing these dailies at this moment in time. I lied so much to my wife last year then the trust is none existant. I.A. exercises are supposed to bring you closer together. My wife is unsure whether she wants to be close to me again because when she is close I choose to hurt her. The only answer I have is to be a different person. To show my wife I've changed, that above all else she is all that matters.

I have said we can take a time out if that is what's needed. I don't want to force my wife into something she does not want to do. I have done that a million times over and I want nothing more to do with it. I will see how things are tomorrow. I know these feelings are in my wife because I put them there. I can never fully understand but I'm working on getting there. It's a long road but it's more than worth it.

B

 

Can hopefully get the group up and running and then we can look into what's the best way forward with setting up some time we could all attend an online meeting. I'm U.S. Eastern time.