Good people feeling entitled to getting what they want.

No, you're not entitled to other people just because you're a good guy.

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Let's say that the person you love the most has just been shot. He or she is lying in the street, bleeding and screaming. A guy rushes up and says, "Step aside." He looks over your loved one's bullet wound and pulls out a pocket knife -- he's going to operate right there in the street.

You ask, "Are you a doctor?"

The guy says, "No."

You say, "But you know what you're doing, right? You're an old Army medic, or ..."

At this point the guy becomes annoyed. He tells you that he is a nice guy, he is honest, he is always on time. He tells you that he is a great son to his mother and has a rich life full of fulfilling hobbies, and he boasts that he never uses foul language.

Confused, you say, "How does any of that fucking matter when my [wife/husband/best friend/parent] is lying here bleeding! I need somebody who knows how to operate on bullet wounds! Can you do that or not?!?"

Now the man becomes agitated -- why are you being shallow and selfish? Do you not care about any of his other good qualities? Didn't you just hear him say that he always remembers his girlfriend's birthday? In light of all of the good things he does, does it really matter if he knows how to perform surgery?

In that panicked moment, you will take your bloody hands and shake him by the shoulders, screaming, "Yes, I'm saying that none of that other shit matters, because in this specific situation, I just need somebody who can stop the bleeding, you crazy fucking asshole."

So here is a terrible truth about the adult world: You are in that very situation every single day. Only you are the confused guy with the pocket knife. All of society is the bleeding gunshot victim.

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If life was fair, I'd have everything because I work so hard and I'm such a good person.

The problem isn’t that life is unfair; it’s your broken idea of fairness.

Take a proper look at that person you fancy but didn’t fancy you back. That’s a complete person. A person with years of experience being someone completely different to you. A real person who interacts with hundreds or thousands of other people every year.

Now what are the odds that among all that, you’re automatically their first pick for love-of-their-life? Because – what – you exist? Because you feel something for them? That might matter to you, but their decision is not about you.

Most of us get so hung up on how we think the world should work that we can’t see how it does.

Our ideas of fairness are mostly self interest and hidden under the cloak of wishful thinking.

But reality is indifferent. You studied hard, but you failed the exam. You worked hard, but you didn’t get promoted. You love her, but she won’t return your calls.

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It's not fair / this isn't how it's supposed to be / I did all the right things... so why...

It's because they're simply not interested in you.

You're not providing them what they want.

If reality worked in a way that you have to be in a relationship with whoever is interested in you, you would be forced into many relationships that you don't want to be in. Example, if you're straight, but a homosexual person wants you and is a "good" person to you, then you're forced into a relationship with that person.... would you like that?

If you think after reading this that the solution is to start treating women badly in order to attract them, then you've missed the point entirely. Stop acting the way you think other people will like you for. Let go of the immature mindset of life not being fair to you.

 

Yes. Most people are so desperate for the approval of others, but they don't value their own opinion of themselves. They don't have the necessary self esteem because they aren't doing anything they're proud of... because they're too busy acting like someone that they're not for the sake of being liked by people that don't like who they really are. It's insane.