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If you are troubling with bad thoughts, anxiety, depression.

Discussion in 'Rebooting - Porn Addiction Recovery' started by Deleted Account, Jan 24, 2019.

  1. Mattew

    Mattew Fapstronaut

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    I don't know, i like sadguru, but he should learn to say "I don't know" sometimes...
     
  2. BigOne79

    BigOne79 Fapstronaut

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    Nice post sir! I am probably a bit older than though but do you think getting into a relationship while still having slight PAWS is a good idea. I agree that anything sexuals should be held off until the rebooterbfees okay.
     
  3. Aware

    Aware Fapstronaut

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    Im dumb. What is PAWS?
     
  4. JakeO5

    JakeO5 Fapstronaut

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    And this should be motivation to all our older guys, respect my man respect
     
  5. Aware

    Aware Fapstronaut

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    ah.. thanks for link. I googled PAWS but just got alot of pet day care centers and dog stuff :) true story. lmgtfy

    anyway, now that I get that, I'd like to ask a question about your question about a relationship during PAWS. I am not convinced that healthy loving relationship (that iyeah includes sex) is a bad thing, It might be a very very good thing and will help with breaking the addiction, by completely removing the urges forever . Should you quit porn and then go out next day and bang anyone and everyone you see , prob not.

    But once you have changed your relationship with urges and learned how to manage the urges in a calm and peaceful way (vs the stressful anxiety filled just fight it method), I believe seeking the affection of a girlfriend could be very positive in many ways.

    With that said, let me ask this question

    What are we all withdrawing from? (careful trick question) .
     
  6. I mean i'm 15 i can't really give advice which should be held so highly by people decades older than me. But i think anything sexual with actual people during your reboot is healthy because porn is ultimately our downfall, it makes you think too much about you know tits,ass pussy, porn focuses on the act of penetration and fetish. foot fetish, transwoman fetish, costumes etc. in real life most men would not even think to act in any of these fetishes, because porn is an escape route so they can experience something new (more novelty) something they have never seen before, that is why a lot of men get hooked on this shit then they feel like shit. Men start doubting if they are gay or insecure about sex performance. One thing i have experienced once, when i was in my prime addiction (at my worst) i watched a lot of weird porn, i would start to doubt whether i would even be able to get a girl friend or even ever talk to a girl again, every time a girl talked to me or even was close to me i sweat my ass off, from my mustache sweat to my forehead sweat, you could see it because i was so ashamed. I started to realize with the original thread message that there *is* something to be ashamed of, for sure because it *should* be frowned upon, because porn is a poison. But what i did about it is i turned my shame into a strength, a reminder to do my best, every time i was lazy or unmotivated i reminded myself how miserable i was before and that really strives you to do better.
     
  7. wasn't really bothered editing, expect spelling mistakes. :D
     
  8. Yes, me too! Fortunately, I already knew that it's a medical term and that it includes "post" and "syndrome", which let me get meaningful results.
    @WhataShame gave a partial answer:
    The question is, escaping from what? From what I've learned, porn addiction is the same as every other type of addiction: The failure to deal with your emotions in a constructive way.

    At the bottom of every addiction there seem to be two factors: An inability to deal maturely with one's own emotions (or at least to learn from your immature dealing), and a lack of meaningful connection.
    When your brain is all messed up, you need a period where you don't feed the dopamine receptors. While on PMO, your brain creates new receptors to deal with the overload, and these receptors are reabsorbed (according to the science available on this and other sites) only when starved.

    That's why the site recommends a three-month hard reboot, i.e. not only no PM but also no sex at all.

    So, you would be best placed to do a three-month hard reboot, where you starve the monster until it dies. Every time you cut short your hard reboot, the monster, which isn't yet dead, can rapidly resurrect. After that, absolutely yes, you can convert to no-PM while you have a real partner (not a prostitute, which is like super-PMO!), and stick with no-PMO at all other times.

    (The three-month period, I believe, is an estimate based on anecdotal evidence, and from what I've read in the forums, some people need longer.)
     
  9. Aware

    Aware Fapstronaut

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    what you say I've heard from various people in various threads stated in various ways, but I think summarizes to: There was something in your life that caused you to (for the very first time) reach out to porn. Your brain did not wake up one day and decide "I need to look at pixels on a screen organized in a sexy way". Something else in your life caused stress? anxiety? depression? or a variety of other things.

    At some point the underlying emotional problem must be addressed and remedied. Does that sound right?

    just side note , the Ted Talk (I am sure many have "The Great Porn Experiment") makes many interesting points. But one is ...which came first (chicken or the egg) or in this case, the Porn or the emotional problem. I think he suggests that is could go either way.

    So I guess my message is you must at least understand what caused you to reach out to porn. For some it could be something benign ( "I was bored", " I wanted to learn more about sex" ), for some it was more serious (stress, anxiety, depression etc)

    You need to be honest, talk to someone and figure out which group you are in.

    Does all of that compute?
     
  10. Absolutely right, yes. Doing NoFap without therapy is a recipe for failure, unless you have iron will — unusual in people who are addicted!
    Healthy people — that is, emotionally healthy — don't turn to porn, just as they don't turn to heroin or excessive alcohol. It's not natural to deliberately do something harmful.

    There may be an exception for young people who are emotionally immature and exposed to porn. But I know that, for me, I turned away from cigarettes when I had the chance to use them (my father allowed me to smoke) because I had the maturity. On the other hand, I started to M very young, then MO as soon as my body was ready for it, then PMO as soon as I had access to porn, before I had that maturity. So, in that case, perhaps, yes, the porn came first.
     

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