I’ve struggled with this addiction for a long time. I realized about 4 years ago that I wanted to quit. I’ve had long streaks, short streaks, tried everything, been through extremely painful withdrawals, you name it. I recently met the woman of my dreams and am now in a relationship. I am also experiencing many miracles in my life that I didn’t think were possible when I was in the throes of my addiction. I want to point out that this relationship came after I started enjoying life again, after I found ways to stay sober, and after I started to love and value myself (as cliche as that might sound). I haven’t looked at hardcore porn in nearly 5 months (I use those terms because it feels like light versions of porn are all over the place and can be hard to avoid: billboards, parties, on the walls inside and outside of mainstream stores/shops… ugh!), haven’t PMO’d in about 7 months. I want to share with you some tools and things that have helped me. I think it’s important to state in case you are new to this, it takes some real time to experience a new life. Yes you will feel better everyday you don’t use, but there will be days you feel like shit too. Imagine turning a ship around, you can’t do it instantaneously, it takes some time. It can take anywhere from 10 days- 3 months to really see the miracles start to happen. It’s different for everyone, but I guess my point is, it’s going to require patience. 1. Find out what helps you get untriggered and start doing those things on a regular basis before the triggers even happen. For example if going to the gym is something that makes you feel better if you feel like shit, do that before you feel like shit! 2. Therapies/support groups There are many kinds: psychological, hypnosis, 12 step, meditations, yoga, spiritual programs, energy healing, etc. 3. Meditation/Spiritual practice 4. Help others, be kind to others For some reason whenever I do this, I feel like porn is further way. Porn is really about selfishness, pain, suffering, abuse, aggression, punishment etc. So by being kind and loving towards others, you are essentially practicing the opposite of porn. 5. Create a full life Load up your life with as much as you can, so there is hardly any room or place for the porn. Stay busy, find new hobbies, find your passion, try to avoid spending too much time alone. 6. Blockers Blockers have really helped me. There were times in the recent months where I probably would have looked at something during moments of weakness or feeling short bursts of cravings. Because of the blockers I couldn’t access it. I don’t think blockers alone are the answer, but its good to have them just for those rare occasions where you find yourself about to fall down the rabbit hole. 7. Have a plan in place for the day. Have a plan in case you get super triggered and follow that plan if you feel out of control. (this is really important) Do all this but make it your own. I think the trick is knowing yourself really well, so you know what will keep you away or stop you from engaging in toxic behaviors. What might work for me, might not work for you. But if you find out what helps YOU the most, do that consistently. You have to be real honest for yourself. This disease is about self deception and lies so being honest is a great anecdote to it. I think what has really helped is doing all these things before I get to a place of intense craving. Being one step ahead of the addiction is what has saved me. I’m happy to answer more questions if need be.
Nice, man! Using blockers also helps me a lot. Sometimes my body keeps insisting for me to 'just' relapse a little bit, but I can´t since all of my devices are blocked. That´s really handy!
thanks for the post, man! It inspired me!!! Esp the part where you say that staying away from P helped you exp miracles!!! Godspeed, man!
congrats on 7 months fella , nice and inspiring post , i like the tips ,i think they are great ,thank you!!
Good post bro. A lot of people need to see this, and open their eyes. What benefits did you receive bro?
+ the withdrawals are a bitch. I always used my mantra ‘take it day by day, hour to hour.’ Helped me get through the rough patches
I received so many benefits. It’s hard to write them all in one post. Also I’ve had many stretches where I was able to stay sober for a while and each time I experience new benefits. Generally speaking, by not looking at porn, you get to be the person you are meant to be. The original you. Your original essence is not clouded or deluded or poisoned by the toxicity of porn, your mind, body and soul. So there is a feeling of great freedom. I would say porn is the opposite of love. So you feel more love. I started writing this post and then safari crashed. The short version is I learned to love myself and other people. I learned about love because porn is the opposite of that and to not have that thing affecting all areas of you life, it can be very freeing. So the benefits include: feeling free, feeling my feelings, being connected to my true essence, connecting deeply with another human being, feeling free of shame, and then of course the obvious stuff like less obsession, more confidence, feeling free of suffering. Porn is a relationship killer, so my relationships are better. I also feel more clear in mind and can prioritize better. There’s lots more but I have work I need to do. Best of luck. I’m happy to write more or answer more questions as well.
What about flatlines? How long have you been and in which day did you notice? Any tips? Thanks man, great storie
W Wow this has been really helpful. Most especially point 1 and 4. I will work on 1. I believe thats where i have issues. Better to prevent a trigger than to cure it.