Day 20- I had a huge bout of anxiety the previous night. I have no idea how it all came about because I was calm almost the whole day and engaged in my meditation. It was a fight to the death to keep away the urges that surged to super high levels. I found myself reasoning that just a little peek would not be bad and it would help me calm down. Well, after a short while of thinking, I decided to take a few deep breadths, named the emotion behind the surge of urges and prayed to God to help me calm down. After that I took my dumbbells and starting doing some exercises while listening to David Goggins. It took about two hours for me to finally calm down but it was worth the effort. I am clean this morning and it feels good to have won the battle yesterday.
Checking in before bed. I've been so busy lately ,when not working I'm repainting our whole cottage apartment. I want to have my daughter's room ready by this weekend. I would never do it if I was porning.
There are good days then there are Bad one's. Today is the latter one for me but I won't give up. Today is the day i will show strength ,I will endeavour and tomorrow I will come back with a post saying DAY 6.