New Life

welcome and good luck. Joining Nofapp and posting are about the best first steps you could take.

Can I ask a question that might help you deal with the first week?

When an urge/craving starts to form in your mind, what does the inner voice conversation in your head sound like?

in case that is not clear, your inner voice is that subconscious part of your mind that wanders around without any effort on your part and has thoughts, ask questions to your self, etc etc

 

first of all more NO porn games !!!! they are the crack cocaine of the already crack cocaine porn industry.

The first step to managing the urge is to take control of your inner voice.

When an urge starts the urge/craving is like a movie that plays in your head and you are in the audience just watching. Problem is movie always has the same ending (pornorama).

With some simple steps you can change the movie in your mind , which will change the ending (no pornorama). First step is you learning basics about biochemistry and porn addiction.

If you haven;t already seen this 5 min video please watch it and see if any of that resonates with you. If so write back your thoughts on it as it relates to you. Then if you want I can give you a simple 3-4 minutes excercise that will teach you to control the movie, thus you will be able to control the urge

- The urge is not bad (its just a biochemical storm kicked off in your brain. a little trick the porn industry played on you)
- You are not the urge
- You are not bad
- Change your relationship with the urge and you can control it vs it controlling you.





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I relate to not wanting to talk to friends or family about it. I would feel more comfortable admitting to any other kind of "addiction" than this one.

 

^^ one of the primary reasons porn addiction is so rarely diagnosed by professionals and others.

yet I would think impacts more people than any other form of addiction, and maybe more than all others combined

 

I understand your situation perfectly, but man trust me. If you decide to change all of this will go away. But you gotta be really strong because it won't be easy, but guess what? The steuggle is temporary but the benefits are permanent

 

you can do this.

Once you have internalized the info in the video... here is 3-4 minute practice that has worked for me to manage the urges vs have them manage you . Give this a try a few times when next urges come, and see if it helps


#2 YOUR NEW PRACTICE TO MANAGE URGES
***********************************

Next time urge happens you quickly take control of your inner voice and practice how to talk to yourself, and use this internal voice to analyze the urge, break it down, understand it, get yourself to understand its not the porn you want (... the bell to pavlovs dogs) . porn is just pixels on a screen. Is it logical that you really want or need pixels on a screen?

So try this when urge hits

1) close eyes. take a deep (4sec) breath in through nose. hold for 4 secs, let it out for 4 secs through nose. repeat one time

2) While continue breathing Step outside your own body and look back at the urge as something separate from you. It is not you. Its just a little bit of "electricity" sparking around your brain, trying to fool you into thinking you want porn when in fact brain actually wants something else. Scan your body and focus on any physical changes . Heart rate up? Tension in some part of your body? anything that feels different. Dont worry about these just be aware and observe them.

3) Do this for 2- 5 minutes.

Lets call the above steps . Your Practice. You should find this is effective in moving past the urge and in a way that calms and relaxes you versus just fighting it and increasing anxiety/stress.

Once you've master this there is a 3rd step that is not important until you master the practice above (has to do with first video)

The urge is not bad.
You are not the urge
You are not bad.

The urge is just biochmestry in your brain that has been all twisted by the predatory porn industry. You can fix that.

Take control of the urge vs it controlling you.