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35 and Older Accountability Group

Discussion in 'Events & Challenges' started by artifact, Nov 24, 2018.

  1. @Minnesotan we hope you aren't frozen solid up there. :)
     
  2. @thekingfisher - we have an opening in the group and you are next on the waiting list. If you are still interesting in joining please reply to this comment.
     
  3. thekingfisher

    thekingfisher Fapstronaut

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    Would love to join! Thanks for the invitation and all the work you do to run this group. It's one of the few groups I've found in on Nofap where members are this active.
     
  4. Day 32 running. Yesterday, after finishing my first month I make myself a wristband out of climbing rope. It's a good reminder to be proud of rebooting successfully and an everlasting hint not to use my left hand to PM...
     
  5. 2pres90

    2pres90 Fapstronaut

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    Checking in. Didn't have access to wifi for a few days while on vacation. I have a new record.
     
  6. clydebarrow

    clydebarrow Fapstronaut

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    OK Understood. I will wait, patiently. Thanks dude
     
    artifact likes this.
  7. Almost lost it a minute ago... felt like calling my ex, sending her dirty messages, having issues with M, no with P... it does feel like I´m fighting someone it just wont go down, I feel Im on top, screaming "Just stay down, lets finish this, lets go home2 but he wont quit... But I won´t either, but I´m a little scared, I mean, "is it going to be like this forever?" When I stopped drinking and smoking it was easier every day, I don´t feel the same with M, given its a hard moment right now, probably one of the hardest since I started. Sorry If I bomb you out...
     
    RightEffort and KumarJK like this.
  8. Minnesotan

    Minnesotan Fapstronaut

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    No I’m alive. Lol
     
    artifact likes this.
  9. Hang in there if you can, you're almost to 90. If not, that's OK. None of us are perfect.
     
    discovery likes this.
  10. Glad to hear it. I will add you to our ranking next time I update it.
     
  11. hey bro, when we are going through the phases of temptation and testes this is how it feels

    Another day you may feel like it is getting easier. Sometimes energy may be stuck down there, so you can benefit from doing some kind of movement and exercise and cold showers and deep breathing.

    I'm totally there with you btw i'm going through a hard time myself. I suggest to you what I am doing to myself, RECONNECT to the reasons you chose your goal.

    Also remember your not doing this forever. Take it ONE day at a time.
     
  12. I'm going through a hard time prob the hardest time during the past 65 days.

    I'm experiencing with depression, loneliness, and hopelessness. Feeling pessimistic about life and feeling like a failure. Some of the things I was hoping for in my work didn't line up and had to let go of certain people which created a backlash of sadness and hopelessness.

    I have been having youtube binge taking place. watching videos on "top 10 strange moments caught live on tv" and "police officers shooting criminals" videos and I found myself stuck and gluded to the computer.

    When i feel weak like this I start to notice my mind is starting to wish it could watch porn, because porn - like the youtube videos - instantly makes me forget about myself and relieves me from a sense of dread.

    What I'm doing now is I am reconnecting to my reasons why I started this. Taking 2 days of silence and doing a fast starting tomorrow for a day or two or maybe 3. Meditating more and choosing to avoid all youtube watching and go within to connect to my essence again.

    Part of me doesn't want to do this, part of me would rather just cruise through the weekend and continue watching movies and try to find some 'fun' in watching movies and wasting time, but I feel so empty when i do that.

    I really don't like the feeling i get after wasting hours watching useless videos - it reminds me of the feeling i would get after hours of porn watching, feeling drained and depressed.

    Overall I am grateful for the awareness that i'm going through an experience of depression right now, and that is okay - The minute i see this i feel a sense of hope and freedom.

    I also found myself blaming people around me for and my life situation for my depression but I realize they are not the cause of it, the negativity is in me and when I can face it and process it i can move through it and release it forever.

    So grateful for having the awareness that I'm not really upset for the reasons I think, but rather I'm experiencing my own darkness which I can bring love and light to and transcend it rather than blaming it to things outside of me, or my career or feeling like a victim.
     
    Espi1971, 2pres90, KumarJK and 2 others like this.
  13. RightEffort, you're on the right path! Maybe you should start journalling, writing out your thoughts and worries and everything? For me it helps to declutter the mind. Also, it seems that you do not like being in this dark place, or at least some part of your brain doesn't - maybe because of this societal conditioning that men should not be weak or depressed etc (but given this - please look at the level of aggressiveness between guys, bullying at schools among boys, suicidal rates, number of male criminals in jails etc etc) - maybe you should regard yourself as a human being more rather than a male who is going through a rough period in one's life - and accept your weak, depressed side? When you accept the feeling and yourself being weak in it the intensity of the feeling lessens - just don't run away from it, stay with yourself. Good luck!
     
  14. Hey bro thank you for your words and reflections. Helps to hear it and it resonates. I will take on your suggestions.
     
    discovery and Deleted Account like this.
  15. I'm a girl :) I also wrote a list of things that are helpful for me in your thread under Success Stories section, check it out. I mean just write down all the evil thoughts you have, write all your depression and loneliness in a sheet of paper, write everything that is in your head there. Then take a step back, go running or go have a cold shower, come back and read everything with a fresh mind - you will notice that these are just thoughts, monkey mind playing its usual games, and you are not obliged to be lured into them or act out on them. It's just a traffic which you see everyday - this time is inner one. You may also check releases according to Sedona method, I write out my thoughts according to its questions and I have noticed that I'm more in balance, there is no extreme states (super high or super low). Stay strong and grounded!
    P.S. Be your own cheerleader, be your own inner parent who says "I know how you feel, I totally get it, let me just stay with you and calm you down. It's OK. Now when you have calmed down and the sadness became smaller, let us just both think what we could do next time in order to avoid this situation." We adults tend to back away and run away, indulge ourselves in various activities to numb our feelings - we should remember that sometimes we must parent ourselves to get out of the comfort zone.
     
  16. Hey Fleurette!

    I wasn't aware that you are in my accountability group. Sorry I totally missed this post and really glad you mentioned it to me otherwise I would have missed it.

    (And thank you for letting me know you're a female so I don't call you a bro lol )

    I appreciate your contribution and suggestions.

    The ones about social media, Sedona method, gratitude journal, affirmations, visualization and accountability partner resonate.

    Did you learn the Sedona method by Dr R Hawkins? It reminds me of the book by him called "letting go" which I feel I should reread again.

    Also as you mention love addiction I had a little light bulb going on for me- I just googled it and I can honestly say I too struggle with that. I never really wanted to admit it but I feel I have that issue.

    In my previous relationships, I have become super addicted to my partner for the first phase, I change my personal care and want nothing but to spend time with her then after the infatuation period is over I start to withdraw and want to be alone more and find it hard to give myself the time I like without feeling guilty.
     
  17. No, I've read a book Sedona Method by Hale Dwoskin, read it, it is very comprehensive and helpful. I also took part in the local online course (mainly for women) based on Sedona method but the main difference that I had to release my beliefs and thoughts in writing and the limit was 3 pages daily, preferably in the morning. It worked wonders for me but then resistance emerged and blah blah blah. I need to resume with that. I also think that it is very healing to thank yourself when writing your gratitude diary (not others or Universe), it helps to come back to yourself.
    Yup you have it too. I find the youtube channel by Alan Robarge extremely helpful. Take the attachment style test. My style is that of anxious avoidant and I really struggle with that. I tend to give to others more and receive very little in return and I blame it on myself for not giving enough. It's crazy. I used to play with men in order not to get too attached but to maintain the connection so not to feel lonely. I also plan to read the book Is it Love or is it addiction? by Brenda Schaeffer.
    I practice Miracle Morning every day according to Hal Elrod's book "My Miracle Morning", it really helps me to stay grounded. It includes silence (meditation), affirmations, visualisation, exercise, reading, scribing aka SAVERS.
    Please don't call me like that, I'm trying to come back to my true feminine self during this NoFap and then I get this "bro" :D
     
    Last edited by a moderator: Feb 2, 2019
    KumarJK likes this.
  18. Hi guys, checking in after the week. So far, I am doing fine.I have no desire at all to watch porn and can controll the urge to masturbare, which is still there. Especially after a really nice encounter last weekend, my desire for affection rose. That makes it a bit challenging now. But isn't it, on the other hand, a great chance? A chance to wake up my desire to get to know new people. A chance that motivates me to go out again more - out not only of my home, but as well open myself.
    This wekkend I will have to stay at home with a cold and sinusitis. Could be dangerous days. But I am willed to resist.
     
  19. Thank you Fleurette.

    Your inspiring me in many ways. I like the idea to have more structure for my morning routine to include journaling and affirmations as I already do the other parts. Also, I'm becoming aware of my new issues such as love addiction lol Yay another problem to solve. :D

    Also will look into the Sedona method and the youtube channel you mentioned and taking the attachment test.

    Regarding helpful to thank yourself not the universe, I'm trying to establish in the understanding that I and universe are one and the same.
     
    Last edited: Feb 2, 2019
    Deleted Account likes this.
  20. I like your ability to put a positive/empowering spin on things bro. you are bound to be successful.
     
    Deleted Account likes this.

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