Big Success Story

PRTe · Feb 3, 2019

the awakening said: ↑

Hi,

May i ask you what blockers do you use ?
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Hey! Sorry for the delay. For my pc I use K9. Sometimes it blocks sites that shouldn´t be blocked. But to be honest, this has never had such a huge impact on my web browsing.
For my smartphone I´ve been using Karspersky Kids free version. It works similarly to K9, which means it sometimes blocks harmless searches. But again, it´s ok. It never prevented me from doing anything and both of them did what they were expected to accomplish. Recently, I´ve discovered safesurfer for smartphone (and I´ve also installed it on my iPad). It seems to work really well and it was developed for the specific purpose of blocking porn.
The only point I must add regarding blockers is that I have used it all by myself in the past. However, as you might guess, it didn´t work out very well, even though I tried everything I could possibly imagine, like erasing the password, after activating the blocker, for example. Then, one day, I decided to come clean to my brother and he was the first to help me on this. Later on, I also told my girlfriend about that and since then, she is the greatest supporter on my recovery journey, including managing the blockers. Now everything seems to be working perfectly!
Just remember that the blocker is only part of the whole process. Before feeling commited as I am now, I´d always find a way of relapsing. The blocker is really important for preventing us from looking for porn whenever our trigger kicks in.
I hope that was useful! Good luck to all of us!

JJ23 · Feb 3, 2019

lekasenor said: ↑

I received so many benefits. It’s hard to write them all in one post. Also I’ve had many stretches where I was able to stay sober for a while and each time I experience new benefits. Generally speaking, by not looking at porn, you get to be the person you are meant to be. The original you. Your original essence is not clouded or deluded or poisoned by the toxicity of porn, your mind, body and soul. So there is a feeling of great freedom. I would say porn is the opposite of love. So you feel more love.

I started writing this post and then safari crashed. The short version is I learned to love myself and other people. I learned about love because porn is the opposite of that and to not have that thing affecting all areas of you life, it can be very freeing. So the benefits include: feeling free, feeling my feelings, being connected to my true essence, connecting deeply with another human being, feeling free of shame, and then of course the obvious stuff like less obsession, more confidence, feeling free of suffering. Porn is a relationship killer, so my relationships are better. I also feel more clear in mind and can prioritize better. There’s lots more but I have work I need to do. Best of luck. I’m happy to write more or answer more questions as well.
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Did you have PIED? If so did you manage to Overcome it

the awakening · Feb 4, 2019

PRTe said: ↑

Hey! Sorry for the delay. For my pc I use K9. Sometimes it blocks sites that shouldn´t be blocked. But to be honest, this has never had such a huge impact on my web browsing.
For my smartphone I´ve been using Karspersky Kids free version. It works similarly to K9, which means it sometimes blocks harmless searches. But again, it´s ok. It never prevented me from doing anything and both of them did what they were expected to accomplish. Recently, I´ve discovered safesurfer for smartphone (and I´ve also installed it on my iPad). It seems to work really well and it was developed for the specific purpose of blocking porn.
The only point I must add regarding blockers is that I have used it all by myself in the past. However, as you might guess, it didn´t work out very well, even though I tried everything I could possibly imagine, like erasing the password, after activating the blocker, for example. Then, one day, I decided to come clean to my brother and he was the first to help me on this. Later on, I also told my girlfriend about that and since then, she is the greatest supporter on my recovery journey, including managing the blockers. Now everything seems to be working perfectly!
Just remember that the blocker is only part of the whole process. Before feeling commited as I am now, I´d always find a way of relapsing. The blocker is really important for preventing us from looking for porn whenever our trigger kicks in.
I hope that was useful! Good luck to all of us!
Click to expand...

Hey thank you very much your response. This is really going to help it's been months that i was looking for good blockers. I had a small addiction to 9gag and it worked pretty well for me. I want to use a blocker because sometimes i edge (watching escort sites) so i want to get rid of that.

Thanks again

lekasenor · Feb 6, 2019

MrLoko said: ↑

What about flatlines? How long have you been and in which day did you notice? Any tips? Thanks man, great storie
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The lowest days I’ve experienced during my reboots have always been the day of or a few days after. That’s when I feel the lowest. The trick for me on those days was to devote myself to helping others (to get out of my story and my pain) or I was dedicated to healing myself (seeing friends, therapy, activities that helped me feel better). I did these things even when I felt like complete shit. I just did them, no questions asked. By the time I got home afterwards, I didn’t feel as bad. There were random days around the 10-20 day mark where I felt messed up and really out of whack. On those days, I just had to stay really busy. I feel like flatlines are not reality, you almost have to ignore them or do productive things to counteract the bad feelings etc. The worst thing to do is stay home and commiserate or feed the victim story. Just keep going. It’s been around 6 months give or take for me. Hope this helps. Also not giving into shame is really important. Shame really feeds this addiction. I remember once feeling awful, like so depressed like I was dying but I still wouldn’t give into shame and that kept me sober for a while.

Deleted Account · Feb 6, 2019

congrats man, keep going!

HelplessPleaseHelp? · Mar 2, 2019

lekasenor said: ↑

I’ve struggled with this addiction for a long time. I realized about 4 years ago that I wanted to quit. I’ve had long streaks, short streaks, tried everything, been through extremely painful withdrawals, you name it. I recently met the woman of my dreams and am now in a relationship. I am also experiencing many miracles in my life that I didn’t think were possible when I was in the throes of my addiction. I want to point out that this relationship came after I started enjoying life again, after I found ways to stay sober, and after I started to love and value myself (as cliche as that might sound). I haven’t looked at hardcore porn in nearly 5 months (I use those terms because it feels like light versions of porn are all over the place and can be hard to avoid: billboards, parties, on the walls inside and outside of mainstream stores/shops… ugh!), haven’t PMO’d in about 7 months. I want to share with you some tools and things that have helped me. I think it’s important to state in case you are new to this, it takes some real time to experience a new life. Yes you will feel better everyday you don’t use, but there will be days you feel like shit too. Imagine turning a ship around, you can’t do it instantaneously, it takes some time. It can take anywhere from 10 days- 3 months to really see the miracles start to happen. It’s different for everyone, but I guess my point is, it’s going to require patience.

1. Find out what helps you get untriggered and start doing those things on a regular basis before the triggers even happen. For example if going to the gym is something that makes you feel better if you feel like shit, do that before you feel like shit!
2. Therapies/support groups
There are many kinds: psychological, hypnosis, 12 step, meditations, yoga, spiritual programs, energy healing, etc.
3. Meditation/Spiritual practice
4. Help others, be kind to others
For some reason whenever I do this, I feel like porn is further way. Porn is really about selfishness, pain, suffering, abuse, aggression, punishment etc. So by being kind and loving towards others, you are essentially practicing the opposite of porn.
5. Create a full life
Load up your life with as much as you can, so there is hardly any room or place for the porn. Stay busy, find new hobbies, find your passion, try to avoid spending too much time alone.
6. Blockers
Blockers have really helped me. There were times in the recent months where I probably would have looked at something during moments of weakness or feeling short bursts of cravings. Because of the blockers I couldn’t access it. I don’t think blockers alone are the answer, but its good to have them just for those rare occasions where you find yourself about to fall down the rabbit hole.
7. Have a plan in place for the day. Have a plan in case you get super triggered and follow that plan if you feel out of control. (this is really important)

Do all this but make it your own. I think the trick is knowing yourself really well, so you know what will keep you away or stop you from engaging in toxic behaviors. What might work for me, might not work for you. But if you find out what helps YOU the most, do that consistently. You have to be real honest for yourself. This disease is about self deception and lies so being honest is a great anecdote to it. I think what has really helped is doing all these things before I get to a place of intense craving. Being one step ahead of the addiction is what has saved me. I’m happy to answer more questions if need be.
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Hey man. You wrote well.
I wanted to mention one of your points - create full life. It is true that if you create life that are full with things that you love and take your time to invest in them. It is the best thing you can do. Because in that way you are investing your energy in productive things and not on spraying all your energy out in the wack of a hand.

Best of luck and keep on being Owesome!

Deleted Account · Mar 2, 2019

lekasenor said: ↑

I’ve struggled with this addiction for a long time. I realized about 4 years ago that I wanted to quit. I’ve had long streaks, short streaks, tried everything, been through extremely painful withdrawals, you name it. I recently met the woman of my dreams and am now in a relationship. I am also experiencing many miracles in my life that I didn’t think were possible when I was in the throes of my addiction. I want to point out that this relationship came after I started enjoying life again, after I found ways to stay sober, and after I started to love and value myself (as cliche as that might sound). I haven’t looked at hardcore porn in nearly 5 months (I use those terms because it feels like light versions of porn are all over the place and can be hard to avoid: billboards, parties, on the walls inside and outside of mainstream stores/shops… ugh!), haven’t PMO’d in about 7 months. I want to share with you some tools and things that have helped me. I think it’s important to state in case you are new to this, it takes some real time to experience a new life. Yes you will feel better everyday you don’t use, but there will be days you feel like shit too. Imagine turning a ship around, you can’t do it instantaneously, it takes some time. It can take anywhere from 10 days- 3 months to really see the miracles start to happen. It’s different for everyone, but I guess my point is, it’s going to require patience.

1. Find out what helps you get untriggered and start doing those things on a regular basis before the triggers even happen. For example if going to the gym is something that makes you feel better if you feel like shit, do that before you feel like shit!
2. Therapies/support groups
There are many kinds: psychological, hypnosis, 12 step, meditations, yoga, spiritual programs, energy healing, etc.
3. Meditation/Spiritual practice
4. Help others, be kind to others
For some reason whenever I do this, I feel like porn is further way. Porn is really about selfishness, pain, suffering, abuse, aggression, punishment etc. So by being kind and loving towards others, you are essentially practicing the opposite of porn.
5. Create a full life
Load up your life with as much as you can, so there is hardly any room or place for the porn. Stay busy, find new hobbies, find your passion, try to avoid spending too much time alone.
6. Blockers
Blockers have really helped me. There were times in the recent months where I probably would have looked at something during moments of weakness or feeling short bursts of cravings. Because of the blockers I couldn’t access it. I don’t think blockers alone are the answer, but its good to have them just for those rare occasions where you find yourself about to fall down the rabbit hole.
7. Have a plan in place for the day. Have a plan in case you get super triggered and follow that plan if you feel out of control. (this is really important)

Do all this but make it your own. I think the trick is knowing yourself really well, so you know what will keep you away or stop you from engaging in toxic behaviors. What might work for me, might not work for you. But if you find out what helps YOU the most, do that consistently. You have to be real honest for yourself. This disease is about self deception and lies so being honest is a great anecdote to it. I think what has really helped is doing all these things before I get to a place of intense craving. Being one step ahead of the addiction is what has saved me. I’m happy to answer more questions if need be.
Click to expand...

lekasenor, amazing! I'm really happy for you and I'm glad to say that as I read your story I think of all the times I failed at holding onto a streak. The amount of times I setup a blocker to help me ended up failing because I would crave it so much that I would just put in the password to turn it off. I truly resonate with you story when you mention being kind to others. It's the way of being a Christian, to be able to give to others even when they don't deserve it.

With all that said though, I congratulate you. I'm on this journey with you and everyone on here again and I hope to be able to push forward. Thanks again. Keep posting and keep us up to date.

ace1234 · Mar 3, 2019

Youre right, its all about deception. Thanks.

Froger · Mar 4, 2019

lekasenor said: ↑

But if you find out what helps YOU the most, do that consistently. You have to be real honest for yourself. This disease is about self deception and lies so being honest is a great anecdote to it. I think what has really helped is doing all these things before I get to a place of intense craving. Being one step ahead of the addiction is what has saved me. I’m happy to answer more questions if need be.
Click to expand...

Great post. This part is really where i need to get better. Thanks for the great tips.

lekasenor · Mar 7, 2019

JZ022419 said: ↑

lekasenor, amazing! I'm really happy for you and I'm glad to say that as I read your story I think of all the times I failed at holding onto a streak. The amount of times I setup a blocker to help me ended up failing because I would crave it so much that I would just put in the password to turn it off. I truly resonate with you story when you mention being kind to others. It's the way of being a Christian, to be able to give to others even when they don't deserve it.

With all that said though, I congratulate you. I'm on this journey with you and everyone on here again and I hope to be able to push forward. Thanks again. Keep posting and keep us up to date.
Click to expand...

Great to hear. I’m not Christian, but I like what you said and respect that value. Suggestion. Try putting the password somewhere where you won’t have access to it much. Give it to a friend or place it at another location. If you know the password, that kind of defeats the purpose of the blocker. I don’t think staying sober is really about blockers at the end of the day, but I will say they can be very helpful. Have saved me many times. But there is always a way around them. They are there to make it harder to access the shit, you know. Best of luck to you!

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