hi everyone !

So, my take on your question is: You made it here because somehow, you have sexual issues. Most likely related to inconveniences caused by porn watching, masturbation or a combination of both.

Fetishes exist in the wild (so to speak). If they are porn induced its another thing. Hear my analogy: You shop for a new car...need an econobox to commute (this is the requirement). You fall in love for a sports car (hard on gas, high cost of insurance, limited usability in some cases). It's not a logical thing, its a LIKE/WANT. You end up buying something that you didn't need, but you got the car craze and bought an expensive vehicle. Even worse, once you purchased the sports car, you keep visiting (just like surfing porn or shopping in boutiques) the dealership lots...you start having a hard-on for a pick up truck...you trade in your sports car, take a loss, get into a balloon loan by refinancing your debt ,etc..you get a truck...even worse...now that you have a truck, you want something to pull with...you buy a travel trailer or a boat...you are far away from your initial requirement.

Don't laugh, it happens to people for real. Stop shopping and be happy with what you have is my point! People now impulse buy stuff off Amazon! I PERSONALLY bought sex toys from Amazon, part of a porn-induced interest for those, and thinking about introducing those in the bedroom.
Fetishes, if they are porn-induced, mean that you are shopping for something you didn't need, start to like it, then you make it your own...THEN, because of the Coolidge effect (need for novelty), you will eventually switch to other fetishes..again, you didn't know about them before.

Here is another aspect; Boys are young, going to school. They notice nice looking teachers. They may have older sisters/cousins/babysitters. Boys may be introduce to lingerie at home(looking into the laundry bag)...so to me, lingerie fetish can be generated young, because its mainstream..no need for the internet.
I got a high heels (stiletto only, no platform atrocities) and scuba fetish. I had the scuba thing BEFORE I even had access to porn vids (old VHS) or porn mags (oldies passed on by a friend or by your older brother)...how do I explain that scuba thing? Not sure, but it came before porn...illustrated books, swimsuits, lingerie section in the catalogues (Sears was one).
I was aroused by scuba and shoes before I was able to ejaculate....I consider those fetishes as MINE.

But you can get hooked to all kinds of fetishes from the porn sites...name it, its there. If you watch those and get new fetishes added to your likes, you will get a temporary dopamine release and possibly an erection. But eventually, that fetish will become an oldie....Porn will present you with fetishes you didn't know about and that you didn't ask for.

Those are in my mind a bigger problem, because they induce more and more research time (porn surfing)...usually the kinks are getting more extreme as you progress down the rabbit hole...

Another bad thing about fetishes (and fantasms)..they look real and very exciting. The reality is that they are often surprisingly UNIMPRESSIVE when you experience them. You can also lose a GF or a wife if you start to get those kinks that seem out of norm. You may push a loved one's limit beyond their comfort zone...

another scenario: You really want to experience a fetish with your wife, but she says NO. You keep trying, she keeps saying NO. You end up finding your wife too vanilla. She starts to feel inadequate...less sex for you!
Then you get to start self-medicating with porn because the wife is not exciting enough. You may try to convince her to watch the porn with her...that may work, that may bomb. That may lead to serious couple issues...you may lose your sports car or your truck in a divorce (lol that is a loop from the idea above).

Does that answer your question a little bit? It is my experience and YMMV!

 

@19m,

Yup....we all got there, if we keep using porn. Porn will let you believe that you are "short-changed" by real life sometimes. Or it will make you look at stuff that is totally not what you want to experience in real life. Looking at some of that stuff is event degrading and hurt your self-esteem...because you get interested in some nasty things that you may feel good but guilty/bashful at the same time.

The problem is the damage is done deep inside the brain...you will possibly end up having issues with getting hard with real stuff. Porn is providing you with constant novelty that real life cannot match...Just like alcohol, porn can reduce your ability (if you abuse it) to have an erection when the time comes for your to use it!

I got hard on vampire porn, can you imagine...its already bad that its out there! There is now virtual porn (Im sure it will be more damaging that existing porn). there is sci-fi porn, some comics-based porn....you cannot experience that in real life, then your penis is getting hard based on situation you will not be able to experience.

 

@19m,

Porn is making us be like a deer in the headlights...we get mesmerized by what we see. Problem is, its often a "mirage". The items displayed are often exaggerated. Some of it is not even true, or are exceptions .

We get addicted to novelty. Then the brain will switch to another fetish.

So, you have to "extract" yourself out of that situation. You need to stop "shopping" to stop being exposed to these things. So, you have to tame that desire to look at the "catalogue" which is the brain wanting to get a "hit" of dopamine. You can be pretty sure that you can get aroused by the weirdest thing on the net if you try hard enough. Doesnt mean that you like it for real. ¥our brain wants "NEW".

Regardless of your sexual orientation (all is fine with me), think about only things that you strongly believe you could be exposed to.
Example: You are hetero and you want a GF that is hopefully not fooling around behind you. Fine, its normal. Its a realistic goal. If you dream about dating a sex machine of a girl (as seen on your favorite P-site), that is

Spoiler: triggers!

willing to take 2-3 guys at once, if you wish that the GF is ok with being deep throated, if you look for a girl that loves anal and likes to get cum in the eyes/on the face daily

you will suffer, because its less likely. Also, it would make you expect from ladies that they behave like the videos you watch.

If for example you notice that clown porn is a thing for you, well good luck with that in real life....unless you date that girl that works at the circus...you see, its a ridiculous

Porn is pretty much an utopia. Unless you date a p-star (and even if you would) you might not get anything like that.

Trust me, I married a woman that eventually became a stripper because she wanted more money and quickly earned.

She made good cash for a few months and the amounts dropped quickly. She gave me good sex in the beginning, but I may have got 2-3 dances MAX in 5 years. Sexless bedroom for much of it. The total opposite of what somebody would expect right?

The answer is: don't have the eye's bigger than one's stomach, set realistic dating goals (with a realistic girl image) which means don't expect a sex bomb, wish for the best.

also, be careful not to "objectify" women. If you look at women with pervy eyes and translating everything into sex thoughts, you will miss the boat.
Think about the girls as human beings that get good days and bad days, headaches, cramps, might be sick at times or chronically. Think about what you can bring into the relationship.

Sex is done fairly quick and its usually not every day that you get it....maybe at the beginning of a relationship.
The best wife for you might be a lady that doesn't want it more than once a week, but is taking care of you well (and you take care of her well too).