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Strange feeling due to porn addiction ?

Discussion in 'Porn Addiction' started by NBraum, Feb 8, 2019.

  1. NBraum

    NBraum Fapstronaut

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    Hello there, I've been going through a lot problems right. I've been PMO'ing for a long time and experienced an escalation from straight to strange porn with femboy and transgender + Hypno and sissy. I decided to stop watching this kind of porn and been through a lot of relapse; and managed the urges to look at this strange porn (I'm still PMO but it's more enjoyable than before, women looks so attractive). But I have a strange feeling toward men whenever see one that looks attractive or cool/classy or simply beautiful in real life or in a manga or an drawing. I identify as straight and I cannot stop questionnig my sexuality because I'm thinking too much, even though I know that finding a man attractive is not being gay my brain won't stop hitting me with this feeling that I'm gay or that I'm denial !
    I mean I'm not scared to say that a Man look fancy or that he's beautiful/charismatic/attractive but I want those feelings in my head, to stop because it causes me a lot of pain sometimes
    What are your thoughts ? Any advices would be greatly appreciated !
     
  2. Abetterbrain

    Abetterbrain Fapstronaut

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    I see this all the time in here. From what I can gather, you need to jack in that sissy hypno shit. Sounds like it really fucks you up.
     
  3. RaHorus

    RaHorus Fapstronaut

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    I mean I'm not scared to say that a Man look fancy or that he's beautiful/charismatic/attractive but I want those feelings in my head

    .. why does that cause you pain?
     
  4. NBraum

    NBraum Fapstronaut

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    -RaHorus : I really don't know man !! My brain's attacking me everytime I see someone like that, like "haha see, you're thinking he's fancy/attractive/charismatic or you love their clothes you must love man then, I knew it you were gay" I know it's false but dang I CAN'T TAKE IT OUT OF MY HEAD, i'm trying to ignore those thoughts, sometimes it stops, sometimes its ruinning my mood and I'm experiencing flashbacks of porn that I pmo'd to, and I feel like my life has been a lie since the beginning !!

    -Abetterbrain : Yeah it destroys our brain god damn I swear to god i'm not returning into this s**t anymore, I'm ready to do anything to get out off this !
     
    porsche4life likes this.
  5. Agonist

    Agonist Fapstronaut

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    Acknowledging that a man is attractive doesn't make you gay or bisexual, but being attracted to a man does. In any case, if you simply reject the idea that there's anything wrong with being gay or bisexual you'll stop fearing those thoughts, and eventually they'll either go away or you'll realize that you are bi and it's fine. More than likely you're not bi or gay and the thoughts will go away, but if you are, you should know that that's cool too.
     
  6. NBraum

    NBraum Fapstronaut

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    I never felt attracted sexualy nor emotionaly by a male, it disgusts me. I prefer woman because that's what I like, I love their bodies and all the feminine attributes. I'm fighting these thoughts because that's not me, that's not the person I want to be. I'm very scared that my life was a god damn lie. I don't want to be gay, and I'm afraid to become one. Like I don't want to be gay I would prefer to die rather than becoming one ! IT PAINS ME SO MUCH
     
    King Arthur the likes this.
  7. Agonist

    Agonist Fapstronaut

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    Why though? What's wrong with being gay or bi? If being gay wasn't a big deal for you, you wouldn't be suffering so much.
     
  8. I relapsed to transgendered person porn a couple of days ago and all I can tell you is just to stop watching this stuff and everything will be back to normal. I was on day 24 and transgendered person thoughts were almost nonexistent before relapse. It is the dopamine in our brain that keeps telling us to look at this stuff. Stay strong, read the forum success stories, and eventually you will be able to let go.
     
    Zimzi and Lovelife247 like this.
  9. NBraum

    NBraum Fapstronaut

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    I'll try to do it, my sister's supporting me so I'll do my best to make her proud, and more importantly, make myself proud !!
     
    porsche4life likes this.
  10. 4DCreator

    4DCreator Fapstronaut

    OCD - Intrusive thoughts?
     
  11. You get to decide your sexuality. Your identity. No one can determine for us if we are gay, bi, straight or many different variations in between in the spectrum of sexuality. If watching gay porn made you gay, then watching rape porn makes one a rapist. Or watching trans porn make one trans. They key is to intentionally decide what you will watch or not. Porn distorts my sexuality. That’s why I must try and avoid it. It confuses. It destroys. But that’s what it does to me. Others may not have the same experience. We each get to decide.
     
    Deleted Account likes this.
  12. NBraum

    NBraum Fapstronaut

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    Yeah it seems like I have HOCD, I read a lot about it and I had a LOT of the symptoms; I also checked success stories and different stories from my NoFap Brother about porn escalation and how it twisted our sexuality and how it affects us. Due to my porn addiction I've experienced Porn Escalation which led me to have these thoughts, my body needed more dopamine so I watched more and more strange and hardcore porn. I'm ready to stop, I'm already 2 days clean even tho it won't go that easily and quickly because its not something that is easy to go.
     
    4DCreator likes this.

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