Valentine's coming and my gf wants sex

Most of us in this section of the forum are motivated, at least in part, to quit porn in order to improve the intimacy in our real-life, loving and positive relationships. This involves giving our partners what they want. It involves having a healthy sex life with our partners. If you can be present and loving during sex, rather than selfish and distant, thinking about porn and fantasising whilst you are with your partner, then I see no problem. If you can enjoy sex with your girlfriend as a mutually enjoyable experience that allows you to express your feelings for one another, then I see no problem. If you are thinking about the sex as a way to finally have an orgasm, or worry that you may relapse afterwards due to the 'chaser effect', then you should be more cautious.

 

It is good to figure these things out at the beginning. If you meant no sex of any kind for the reboot, and told here, then stick to the plan despite the Vday. If you didn't, then make it all about her and watch out for the chaser effect later.

Lots of folks here include sex with a partner in their reboots, nothing wrong with that (unless you planned full abstinence) but urges can follow so be watchful of yourself.

 

I told my gf when I started my reboot we couldn't have sex, and she was cool with it. I did give her oral sex like a lot (like 2-3 times a week) so she was satisfied, but she also understood what I was doing and that for us to be able to have sex (I could not keep an erection for more than 5 minutes before reboot), I needed to do the reboot with no stimulation.

If you guys set down rules beforehand, then follow those rules. If she cares about you she'll take oral sex over PIV any day to help your reboot. If you guys didn't set up rules, you might wanna talk to her this week about what's gonna happen that night, or things might get dicey on V-Day night if you don't talk with her about it beforehand and then just say no sex.

Some guys may not like this, but since you're only a week into your reboot, and she wants to bang really bad, you might just wanna. Since you're so early and Valentine's Day is a pretty big sex day, it would not hurt to go back 6 days as long as you start the reboot right after. Showing her you care is a good thing, and you don't want to upset her on this big day. When I first started dating my gf, she wanted to have sex, but I thought I had PIED. We had sex anyway, and I could barely get hard. She was like "Why'd that happen?" and I said "It's from watching too much porn. I don't watch it anymore or masturbate at all, but to fix me I need to go 90 days without any sex or stimulation." She was just like cool and we did it haha. Now we have sex all the time and it's great . You can just try, and when it doesn't work, tell her you need to do the 90 days, and make sure to say you're doing it for her, because you really should be.

 

Here are some first hand account of guys having sex during their reboot https://www.yourbrainonporn.com/rebooting-porn-use-faqs/rebooting-with-a-partner-what-about-sex/ . Although there's not hard medical data, consensus at the moment is that if you're suffering from PIED or any P addiction, you need to give your brain a rest from any type of porn, and at the same time your penis needs a rest from any kind of stimulation. I know you're not me, but I went hard mode 90ish days, and then went straight to having sex 2 times a week, boners at 100%. The night before I started my reboot, I couldn't get a 50% erection for more than 5 minutes. It worked beautifully with me, so that's what I recommend to you.

If you're afraid your gf feels she can't satisfy you, you need to explain to her your addiction and that it's not her fault. Read up on this link https://www.yourbrainonporn.com/por...porn-induced-ed-what-do-i-tell-my-girlfriend/ , or say what I said to my gf in a previous post. In fact, at the bottom of this, I'll link the files I showed my gf to help her understand what's going on with me. She can help you out a lot during your reboot if you help her understand your problem, that it's not her fault, and that you're doing NoFap for her. Let her explore Your Brain on Porn (I think NoFap can get a little "vivid" and unpleasant at times so I didn't show her this site haha). She's gotta know what's going on with you. Hell, if you don't know the in's and out's of porn addiction, you got some reading to do as well. Also dude, if she doesn't feel like she can satisfy you or that she isn't hot enough, YOU GOTTA MAKE HER FEEL HOT. Eat that girl out, call her pretty, compliment her clothes. You don't need to lie (a lot), but if she looks pretty and you want her to sit on your face, TELL HER SHE'S PRETTY AND SHOULD SIT ON YOUR FACE. My girlfriend would tell me she felt bad she couldn't pleasure me and actually cried about it once cos she felt shitty about it, so I would just say "You can fuck me in February, but now I'm gonna eat you out". You gotta make her feel wanted and sexy, even though you're not having sex.

Tell her about your addiction, how it's not her fault, and that you know how to get better and are taking the steps to, which includes not having sex, but does not include you eating her out all the time. Good luck with the girl

Things to show gf (you should probably watch them too):

https://www.yourbrainonporn.com/rebooting-porn-use-faqs/what-if-my-partner-is-a-porn-addict/
https://www.yourbrainonporn.com/ybo...and-porn/boyfriend-quitting-porn-5-tips-2013/