I really hope i just sleep , Die and end my suffer ( Femdom addiction )

i have already did this , in last 2 months i have never touch my dick but i was cheating and seeing some pics once a week or less , because i couldn't cut the addiction at once .

 

Dafuq !!! i have just passed 3 months without masturbating !!!

To be honest it was 3 months of no masturbation , but i was still taking a look on some chat forum from time to time
I did a mistake last week i opened a porn site to check if it Femdom still turn me on and sadly i got hard and i almost relapsed even without touching my dick , my luck that the pc battery was low and the pc turned-off !

My sexual desire is dying and i don't feel sexual anymore , but the desire of Dominant women it still inside me everyday and the desire of a controlling partner want go away , but things getting softer

I like starting things on months begin , from this month i will never open a porn site even for 1 sec , it look like the old videos are almost gone from my mind , i remember only the the last ones , but big part of porn memory is getting deleted from my memory ,

Sadly still can't find a girlfriend to live the vanilla lifestyle yet but won't give it up

 

100 Days no orgasm Completed

Sadly i think that i am not happy about my results , after completing my 100 days i was wondering if normal sex will turn me on now , so i did like last time and decided to book a 15 min with a prostitute , but sadly i couldn't get hard just like last time , then i tried even to kiss her feet but that also didn't turn me i got only mild erection for short time , was just trying to get a full erection for a whole 15 min but didn't work even she was trying so hard
What happened to me , really kills the self esteem , why ???

I booked a Date with a Psychiatrist after 2 weeks , let's see hat her says

 

Peoples ! I need help for my Erectile dysfunction , is going to the Psychiatrist can solve the problem or i should go to another type or doctor ?
I can think i will probably having a date next week and i am so scared that if i have sex i will not be able to get hard , worst nightmare ever ...

 

I think the reason is when I was masturbating the previous 10 years I was holding my penis so hardly and putting too mush pressure with a special way to increase the pleasure , so sadly any other thing except of what I have been doing will not get it hard ( this without talking about the bdsm part )

 

What do you mean ?

 

Well as you said you didn't read my whole threat , but i said above that i was trying to get a girlfriend but no success , maybe it hard for you to understand , but it's not that easy if you are 5.3 ft with average looks ( please don't tell me looks don't matter and it's all about personality ) .

 

Thanks dude
Do you recommend to a visit a Doctor for the ED thing ?
I am not a German but i i live in Germany ^^ , and i hope i find the right person .

 

120 Day / 4 Months Challenge Done !
To be Honest i relapsed last day because last weeks i felt that i start losing my sexuality and losing erection , i saw that's not healthy to stop sexual pleasure for very long time life a whole year , seriously it's goods to hold long Strikes but to hold sexual pleasure for more then 4 months it unhealthy and start affecting me badly and i felt can't do it for ever ...

What i learned from my 120 days no orgasm journey :
I kind of get over my addiction , i feel that i i don't need to masturbate anymore or to watch porn , it's no more a primary thing and thing i have to do it every day , it something i can stop it for long strikes .
My fetishes are weaker now , even if i still like the same fetishes but now i don't like them like before and i can control my self more ...
The next period :
For the next period i will keep holding my self for long strikes until i find a sexual partner , i will not do the same mistake from last time to go back to beat masturbating mode after a relapse
I think NoFap can make Femdom addiction weaker and make me stronger , but to get rid of it i need to find the roots .