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clinical depression vs porn induced depression

Discussion in 'Rebooting - Porn Addiction Recovery' started by SuperKrishna44, Jul 31, 2015.

  1. SuperKrishna44

    SuperKrishna44 Fapstronaut

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    Hi nofappers,

    I have a problem:
    I had a severe depression couple of years ago after a psychotherapy and took meds which worked pretty good. The reason for my breakdown back then was not PMO alone, since a lot of other factors were involved.
    For a few months I don't take the meds anymore and discontinued the treatment with the ok of my doc, since I don't want to take the meds my whole life and it's possible to try without meds after a few years.
    At the same time I'm doing the nofap challenge since January and made it to over 30 days without orgasm while watching porn after my longest streak of 27 days and a long time of failing after the 27 days. I was still edging from time to time during the 30 days though, luckily not as often as I was used to. So I wasn't completely successful to ban porn out of my life, which is bad, I know. But still, I'm proud for what I've reached till now.
    I decided to stop PMO to rule out all kind of sources for depression and to get all the benefits while stopping with PMO. I'm addicted to porn but it's not that bad and has never been so bad that I had ED because of porn. It was taking a lot of my life time though, since I was browsing for porn for hours in a row, forgetting the time and sleeping less. So it's good that I'm quitting the whole shit.

    During the last 2 weeks my concentration is getting very bad again, as in so bad as it was when I had severe depression. And I begin to feel shitty, apathetic and empty again and my doc is recommending meds again. So my depression seems to come back again. I really don't want to get dependent on those meds because I'm still young and trying to find ways to come along without it. I actually hate the medication and still needed them to come back to life. Now I'll have to decide whether to take meds again or not during the next few weeks. Getting a severe depression and destroying another year of my life is no option too ...

    Anyway, back to my question: How bad can depression get, while quitting with PMO. I guess it can get bad but not as bad as in a clinical severe depression, right? With severe depression I literally couldn't do anything, no working, no reading, no fun, no sound sleeping, no feelings except bad ones. All of that for more than 6 months until it began to get better with trying a lot of different meds.

    Anyone else here who has experience with clinical depression and quitting PMO at the same time?
     
    jorgeder98 likes this.
  2. jorgeder98

    jorgeder98 Fapstronaut

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    I experienced some bad depression just with some of your symptoms (I couldn't go out, every day I was crying , I hated myself, suicidal thoughts...) the thing is since 12 years old porn is been part of my life so I don't know if in some way that depression could be linked to my addiction on porn.

    With respect to your question about depression when quitting PMO, for me is been hard I feel sad most of the time and some part of me is always concerned with the possibility that I won't find anyone to be with me and I get very anxious about the future and around women.

    Some days ago I visited my doc and I told her about my lack of motivation towards living (suicidal thoughts ) and he gave me Prozac , but I'm not taking this meds for the same reason ( I am young and I don't want to be dependent on meds to be fine), nevertheless this decision can be changed if I feel that this depressions turns uncontrollable.
    Anyway in your case I'd take the meds 'cause this kind of depression seems to take all of you, remember to talk with your doc about your addiction so he can help you better.
     
    C.HNF and SuperKrishna44 like this.
  3. BioDegradableLuke

    BioDegradableLuke Fapstronaut

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    I had a social phobia when i was 17 years old caused by smoking weed. Because of i downplayed this sickness and the ignorance to not stop smoking weed it lead in a depression which i could bring finally under control in april 2012. of course also with the help of medication. I have zo say that the meds always helped me a lot BUT they are having one single sideeffect: they sometimes prevent my orgasms! So when i watched porn it took a long time until i had an orgasm! So i wanted to quit many times because i had to spend such a long time with porn for have a result. Of course other factors came along like the lack of social, real contact to girls etc. but now i am having a girlfriend and i really want to quit! I know it will change my life to good but i am also aware of the pain on my way same like you @SuperKrishna44
     
    SuperKrishna44 likes this.
  4. Limeaid

    Limeaid Guest

    Ok I am not a Dr but I know a bit about the brain so this may help shed light on how you are feeling. When dopamine saturates the brain, the brain uptakes the access dopamine. In an addicts brain the reuptake neurotransmitters are in overdrive because there is so much dopamine being released. When you stop the activity that releases so much dopamine (like porn) the brain continues to uptake dopamine so even normal activities feel crappy. This is why giving it up makes you "crash" or feel like you are going into a depression until your brain normalizes or balances itself out. If you had clinical depression to begin with this means you probably produce less dopamine anyway so cutting out PMO will be even worse for someone like you. The little dopamine your brain is producing is being sucked away. Until the reuptake neurotransmitters normalize this can go on for a while.

    Are you wanting to go on meds while you give up PMO? Giving up PMO is paramount to normalizing your brain. Taking drugs to fight depression while PMOing is really going to mess with how your brain works.

    I can't give you any advice obviously but speak to your dr about it and see what they have to say about it maybe.
     
    SuperKrishna44 likes this.
  5. Fap_Doc

    Fap_Doc Guest

    @SuperKrishna44 I'm about to finish up my medical degree. I'm not a medical doctor yet but I can tell you that if you are currently on depression meds, you should not stop taking them simply because you're going on a no PMO plan. Dopamine may or may not be linked to depression, but the clinical evidence is well established that serotonin levels modulate how depressed/anxious you are. Dopamine is more linked to reward and lack of it leads to Parkinson's disease but that's of little relevance here. In short: (1) Do not stop taking your meds as you will suffer withdrawal symptoms which may be unpleasant, serious or even fatal!. If you get well enough to come off the meds (which takes a long time as depression medications don't provide the needed effect quickly) you must do so as advised by your doctor and in small increments, NOT simply stopping to take the pills (2) Continuing no PMO as well as taking your meds is (in my opinion) the best option for you as PMO could well be a factor to your anxiety/depression. (3) Most importantly, talk to your primary care physician about all this.

    Best of luck
     
    Last edited by a moderator: Aug 3, 2015
  6. SuperKrishna44

    SuperKrishna44 Fapstronaut

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    Don't worry @Fap_Doc. I stopped it with the advice of my physician over and after a very long time and was happy to not take them anymore. I know quite a lot about the meds and I wouldn't forget the fact, that no one actually knows how the meds work. The different action mechanisms of the meds prove that quite well. Even with SRRIs there could be a change to the brain apart from serotonin modulation, which we don't even know, causing relief of depression/anxiety. If you study the market then you'll find that there are meds on the market which actually decrease the serotonin levels (increase re-uptake) in the brain and still clinically helping people with depression/anxiety.

    In the case that I have to take them again, I'll be always in a need-hate relationship to these meds. That's why I try anything to come along without it and I'll only take them when absolutely necessary, even if it causes some more hopefully short term suffering. I just don't want to give up and agree on taking these meds for the rest of my life, not having reached my 30th birthday yet. I guess a lot of people with severe depression just do that, well I'll only do it when having done everything what I can for preventing it. For docs which do their jobs all day long it's not such a big issue to subscribe these meds, for people who take it it is. It's not like you take something and everything is like it has been before, there is always a trade-off with the side effects as well and I feel like with every subscription the probability of living without is drastically decreasing, which is unfortunately a fact too. No one knows if that's because the brain is getting used to the medication, not able to work without it anymore or just because of the depression which has itself become chronic. That's why I think it's good and normal to think and having doubts of taking them again.

    Thanks for the input guys, feels good to write and read about it.
     
    jorgeder98 likes this.
  7. mudasir

    mudasir Fapstronaut

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    clinical depression is caused by only excessive mastrbtn.....you have not had depression before maturity
    ....no matter how much troubles you had faced before maturity......what other reason do you think..
     
  8. Fakekondi

    Fakekondi Fapstronaut

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    Oh my God, I have same symptoms
     
  9. Sorry about your depression, my depression started after i quit pmo. You definitely should be proud of every step you take

    If you find you absolutely cannot stop edging then you could try easy mode where MO is allowed, just limit it to once a week imo

    But mjea try to stop the edging, youll drive yourself anxious with all the chemicals created doing it without release
     
  10. vitatertot

    vitatertot Fapstronaut

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    I've found that during porn addictions you have a constant depressive state that slowly gets worse. Your highs get less high and your lows get lower, until you're legit just depressed all the time. It's a brain thing where your brain literally can only get pleasure from porn, you can read up on dopamine desensitization. Essentially, you stop feeling happiness and pleasure from "Natural" or "organic" things in life, like birds, the weather, working out, etc. . . When you quit porn, you will (depending on how bad your addiction is) go through some deep withdrawal for a while. Without the constant dopamine bombardment, you'll feel empty and hopeless for a while, but then your brain will slowly reset back to it's default setting. It's kinda like caffeine. If you're drinking 4-5 cups a day, if you go cold turkey, you're gonna feel SUPER tired for a few days, but then afterwards you'll be able to sleep a lot better and be more naturally awake. These past few years I've only watched porn every few weeks/months, But even then, every time I'd relapse (or even just reset MO without porn), consistently like a CLOCK, on day 3, I'd feel like absolute shit regardless of how my day was ACTUALLY going. It took me a few months to realize it. However, knowing that this depression is actually a good sign of your brain rebooting allows you to push through it. Just do your best to make tangible progress in your goals, push yourself to do SOMETHING that makes you proud. Even though it's temporary, if you allow it to control you, you won't come out of it as quickly. Just keep moving forward, I wouldn't recommend antidepressants unlesss you're suicidal. It may last a few weeks, maybe a few months. But if you completely abstain from everything you'll come out of it quick.
     
    Freeddom_Taker likes this.
  11. ImGonnaDoThis4628

    ImGonnaDoThis4628 Fapstronaut

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    Hey Boss man, I too am no doctor, but I have a experience very similar to yours. I was diagnosed with depression about 3 years ago and been on meds for about 2 and a half years. Now rewind some I have been addicted to porn since I was 12. Quit for a year about 2 years ago, which I believe help bring on the depression/anxiety. Although I believe I had it my whole life, I remember feeling this way since I was a kid.
    Anyways my depression and anxiety got so bad I was having anxiety attacks daily and could not even get up to go to work, went through 2 Jobs, but now I have been stable coming onto a year with my current Job with a great Company.
    One thing I have always thought was, "Man I hate being on medication" for those who have never been on it, you know the feeling, it makes you feel like a loser or not strong enough. But if you really believed in mental illness, that it is a very real thing, then you shouldn't be ashamed of being on meds, this is something I still battle occasionally.
    Does quiting porn flare up depression, it might, it definitely does mine. But mental illness is real and if these meds can help you get stable to one day be able to quit porn completely and walk away from the meds. It's something you must go through, it is something I am currently going through. Please don't be ashamed of your meds, number one way depression beats down people. Makes em feel alone, lost a loser, you name it. I also had a host of other extreme anxiety/depression symptoms but will not post to not trigger anything in anybody. Lord willing you will be better, I trust you will be brother
     
  12. Fenix Rising

    Fenix Rising Fapstronaut

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    It took me 4 months to get out of wild mood swings, chronical headaches and colds, general anxiety, crippling depression, so bad that I just wanted to die, night insomnia/morning sleepovers… I was depressed to begin with, but going "hard mode" made my life hell on earth for first 3 months. Things started to get better in 4th month and after. I was daily compulsive binge PMO-er for nearly two decades. I believe I've tried to ease depression symptoms doing PMO most of my adult life. Foolish, I know. What helped me was daily exercise (cycling, running, weightlifting). I would probably hurt myself without it.

    I started a journal, it's basically a 6-step Therapeutic Lifestyle Change (TLC)program how to cure depression. You might wanna take a look at it:

    https://www.nofap.com/forum/index.php?threads/hopeless-case-searching-for-hope.187822/#post-1604428
     
    Last edited: Aug 10, 2018
    D. Jigen and ImGonnaDoThis4628 like this.
  13. Fenix Rising

    Fenix Rising Fapstronaut

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    Here was a very good lecture on Stanford regarding depression/brains/meds. When I saw it, I decided I don't want to be a lab rat. If they don't know exactly what is causing my clinical depression, how can they cure it? They can't. That's why relapse rate is so high:



    I'm gonna try this approach instead. I'm gathering willpower to start all over again, knowing how much suffering it will cause, before things get better:

     
    Last edited: Aug 10, 2018
  14. ImGonnaDoThis4628

    ImGonnaDoThis4628 Fapstronaut

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    What about the people that the people that meds help substantially? Have to view these types of topics from all angles, though there is not full evidence what the meds do.
    What about the people that feel better from them?
     
  15. Fenix Rising

    Fenix Rising Fapstronaut

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    I'm not saying, people shouldn't try it. If meds help them great. But long term relapse statistics for these meds is not looking good.
     
  16. ImGonnaDoThis4628

    ImGonnaDoThis4628 Fapstronaut

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    Don't get me wrong either I agree with you, if a person is able to get off meds they should try to, try more natural ways to feel better, there are people out there though that need them to get by. I for one have been on meds for 2 years, once I beat this porn addiction I plan to try to taper off my meds slowly.
     
  17. Fenix Rising

    Fenix Rising Fapstronaut

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    I recommend reading dr. Stephen Ilardi's book The Depression Cure: The 6-Step Program to Beat Depression without Drugs. You can buy it cheaply on Amazon or google for free pdf.
     
  18. AnikiT

    AnikiT Fapstronaut

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    This is the only thread I can relate to. I am currently in the ER as I write this.

    I just recently hit my 60 days and I have become severely depressed with 4 episodes of panic attacks. I was barely able to speak since my last one. Every waking moment have become a battle that death seems the only way to finding relief.

    I have been hardcore addicted since 11 or so and now I am 30. I quit cold turkey since Dec 15 2018 (62 days today). How long does this last?

    I so far suffered:
    Depersonalization
    Anxiety (which lead to other symptoms like existential crisis)
    Suicidal thoughts daily
    Constant state of mild fear/ anxiety
    And crippling depression.

    I can barely talk when meeting with people. I have great support from friends and family. They know about my past addictions, which is not longer a factor now, just my mental health.

    My question is:
    Do SSRI's help with reboot? Because afterall my dopamine and serotonin levels are messed up. I'm afraid Anti depressants will mess up my brain chemicals even more. Or would it help me ride through this storm?

    There are no cases of depression in my family. I've been depressed before but it usually goes away after a few days. But the last few years I realized the mild anxiety nnd the depression episodes have to do with PMO addiction. I've never made the correlation between the 2 my entire life.

    I do everything from gym to meditation to health foods. The symptoms got gradually worse.

    SOS.

    Is there anyway I can talk to a professional about this? I'm in a Crisis. To every health professional, to them depression is just depression and they just treat it with pills. What does community know about what I'm going through? Most cases here aren't as severe. And most people say depression goes away after a few weeks and it seems very mild to them. They say it actually cures their depression. This has been the hardest thing ive been through my whole life.
     
    Last edited: Feb 17, 2019
  19. BioDegradableLuke

    BioDegradableLuke Fapstronaut

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    I suffered from panic attacks when i was 17 years old (now 30 years same as you). The main reason i think was the missuse of marihuana. I was under treatment and i was stupid enough not to stop smoking. After depression hit me and i finally gave up. under observation from a psychologist and anti-depressant i beat it after 7 long years! I needed so much change and willpower and when i look back i could made it in 3-4 years by adding sport activities and healthy diet to my threatment but i was young and stupid.
     
  20. Fenix Rising

    Fenix Rising Fapstronaut

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    From my past experiences it takes me 3-4 months of monk mode for depression symptoms and social anxiety to elevate somewhat. It doesn't go away completely just gets better, especially in case of depression. Social anxiety is a different beast altogether. It's very hard to learn how to turn off subconscious fight or flight brain mechanism during social contact if it's related to some old childhood trauma.

    Anxiolytics work great against anxiety, but are very dangerous drugs to take for prolonged period of time. They can be (and are) habit-forming. You can develop cravings for these drugs, especially if you take them for too long. Taking anxiolytics for an extended period can also lead to drug tolerance. This means that after using the drug for a long time, you need more of it to get the same effect. If you stop taking anxiolytics suddenly, you may develop withdrawal symptoms. These can include seizures. So anxiolytics are no go in case of chronical anxiety like yours or mine.

    I'm not a doctor, so take my advice with a grain of salt. That being said, from what I have read from science literature and talk to my GP (who also happens to be psychiatrist), SSRI would help in case you are so debilitated from anxiety/depression that you literally can't do anything. It's better to take exercise route, if you can force yourself to go out for a walk/jog/run 3 times a week for half an hour to an hour. If you're up to it go swimming or cycling in remaining 2 or 3 days of the week. That way you will raise your serotonin and endorphins levels equally as taking antidepressants without unwanted side effects like loss of libido and weight gain. The trick is to do aerobic exercise as often as you can, preferably 5-6 days a week (but take at least 1 day for recovery… take 2-3 days a week off if you're feeling tired when you wake up in the morning) and follow plan regularly for 12 weeks. You can evaluate effects of exercise on your mental state after 3 months not sooner.
    https://www.ncbi.nlm.nih.gov/pmc/articles/PMC3674785/

    The second thing that is proven to help in case of anxiety and depression is psychotherapy, especially cognitive behavioral therapy (CBT) if you can afford it. I currently unfortunately can't.
    https://www.ncbi.nlm.nih.gov/pmc/articles/PMC2933381/

    I personally follow 5K running program and do some cycling plus weightlifting in between -> https://play.google.com/store/apps/details?id=com.c25k&hl=en_US
    I'll start following this beginner sprint triathlon program when I'll finish running program -> https://www.cancerresearchuk.org/sites/default/files/triathlon-training-plan-beginner.pdf
     
    Last edited: Feb 17, 2019

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