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Determined effort towards freedom

Discussion in 'New to NoFap' started by Sedate, Feb 18, 2019.

  1. Sedate

    Sedate Fapstronaut

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    I am a 31 year old male who has had a PMO problem since attaining puberty.Around 20 years of the repeated cycle. I realized long back that it was affecting my daily life. There was immense guilt associated with it, and attempts to refrain from it began in the early days. But i kept falling back into the habit. There was always periods of success and the effects were remarkable. But there was always a trigger which led to a relapse.Although a good student in school, PMO affected me in college as it lead to laziness, lethargy, wastage of time and clouding of consciousness. I took more than the normal number of years to graduate as a result. Later on, after my college education, PMO developed into visits to the massage parlour, which later on became too difficult to resist. Anytime spent alone would trigger such thoughts. This habit was finally brought under control by resorting to PMO anytime a thought to go there arose. In the meantime, I got married to a beautiful, loving girl. Although i could resist myself for the initial few months, i fell back to PMO. We have a good chemistry and enjoy moments of intimacy but we have not been able to achieve penetration yet even after one year of marriage. Although the reason for this is the pain she experiences during penetration, i have also noticed that when i am involved in PMO, i am not able to be aroused by actual sexual contact with my spouse and maintain erection. I feel the tendency to finish of the session and sneak back to PMO once she sleeps. Feels like some form of digital adultery. Refraining from PMO instantly leads to more connectivity with life as opposed to the feeling of total disconnection and dissociation with life. I have been traversing this loop for the last 20 years and life has been stagnant. It hasn't been able to flower to it full potential. Life is precious, and it would be such a waste of it to subject me and as a result the people associated with me to be stuck in this cycle of suffering. This is the first time i am addressing it on this level and seeking outside help. I express my gratitude to Mr Alexander Rhodes and others involved in this venture and hope it helps everyone seeking to find a solution to their misery. I will start my abstinence from today. I seek your unconditional support.
     
    SevenF likes this.
  2. You've recognized the problem.
    Congratulations on making a start.
     
    Sedate and SevenF like this.
  3. SevenF

    SevenF Fapstronaut

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    Welcome brother Wow it has been a very long vicious cycle. It is never late though now you already have seen how it has been taking away your soul. Every person had unique story here that will help you combat p from multiple directions. As long as you are determined and persist through the process. You will indeed see amazing results. Good luck and never give up when ever the door to pornography closes there is a realization that infinite doors could be opened.
     
    Sedate and SirErnest like this.
  4. Sedate

    Sedate Fapstronaut

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    Thankyou
     
  5. Sedate

    Sedate Fapstronaut

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    looking forward to opening the doors..
     
    SevenF likes this.

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