After relapse, I seemingly lose all my power. Also my relapses always occur on weekends. Any advice?

After relapse, even just MO, I feel as if I lose all my attractive power. After about two weeks of nofap, I start feeling insanely dominant and confident and life becomes brighter and my heart is filled with hope.

But after I relapse, almost instantly it’s like my whole world comes crumbling down and when I wake up, it’s like i wake up in hell. I lie in my head with my hands on my head, and cry out “why?! What have i done? Please don’t let this be real”. And I need at least a couple of days to recover and the entire day after a relapse, i watch comforting soothing videos about nofap, or staying strong- just anything to help me cope.
But I feel weak and mortal. Even my legs feel like jelly, as if not lubricated and optimally functioning because I have wasted my semen.

This all might sound ridiculous, but i don’t think it’s all mental or placebo. I mean lately after relapses, i become incredibly weak physically and mentally. The next few days, i feel like i have to avoid hanging out with friends or going to the gym or talking to girls until i “get some of my power back”. And then after around 4 days, i start feeling normal again.

Is this crazy thinking, do any of you experience this

My whole life falls apart after a relapse it seems and then after around two weeks i feel on top of the world and that everything is working for me. Only to relapse after 3 weeks and feel crappy again.

The solution is stop relapsing. But what often leads to relapse is deep seated emotional issues (this feeling of a void in my heart) that tend to crop up after a couple weeks of nofap. And masturbating just let’s me escape those feelings. The only way out is through- to confront those feelings i feel. I have to push through the 3 week mark which i haven’t been able to achieve since october. Another thing is that all my last relapses are ALWAYS ON THE WEEKENDS! I think it’s partially due to not having any structure (as in i don’t have class) and partially due to wanting to relax after a busy week of school.