Pattern: Caring about stopping porn, do good, stop caring, relapse

As an addict it’s called searching for bottom and you need to cut out the non-shalant attitude immediately and take this seriously or it’ll continue to escalate till you’re totally possessed
You’ve been warned stick to it and take it seriously
God bless

 

I’ll ration with you because yes it is hard.
I had a dream last night where I relapsed AND it was a wet dream. When I woke up it nearly made me end my streak IRL
But then I laughed and said “almost you piece of shit. You think I’m going to waste all this effort!”
You have to make porn the opponent and crush it relentlessly

 

I have found the what makes the difference for me. I tried Nofap before being on this website but kept relapsing.
But since i have my own personal "Why", i dont think i will ever relapse again.

To me, i just decided that my own sexual happiness is more important to me then not to suffer.
I rather suffer now and live a great life afterwards.
Everything comes with a price in Life. Your determination will decide on whether you are willing to pay it.

Usually it goes like this:
Hard life now, Easy life later.
Easy life now, hard life later.

Do you want to be soft when you are with a girl, even thuogh she is pretty?
I never want to have this situation ever in my life again. FK THAT.

 

It's easy to be "I'm gonna do this" in the early going. But to personify addictions, they are very patient. They have heard it all before. Addictions will wait patiently and trip people up when they are not expecting it. We need to be tougher, more ruthless, and more patient. We can defeat them if we remember that addictions never, ever rest.

 

Every human has different belief systems within them. One of your belief systems says that porn is fantastic. That won't change through abstinence. You need to change that consciously and truly modify how you think about porn.
You can tell if you managed that if you can look at porn and have 0 intentions to masturbate.
But if a part of you keeps being convinced that porn is good you will go for it, because we always go for the good stuff no matter how hard it is and how long we have to wait for it.

 

Well let me tell you - I have had a PMO addiction for pretty much 37 years and for the first time in my life I understand the chemical and addictive side of this. That is now my approach- I am attacking this as an addiction! That gives me a lot of insight into my struggles and that exact pattern you’ve described.

Your description sounds exactly like me for years. Imagine that same struggle and failure for over 3 decades- UGH!!! I felt hopeless even as recently as 4 months ago but I didn’t give up. I took some more steps on my own and eventually found your brain on porn website and this forum.

I now have hope because I understand I am not alone, I have found a place to talk about it and there is some great support and insight in this forum.


Good luck!! You CAN do this!!!

YOU REALLY CAN!!!

Think of porn as your enemy!

 

I have the same problem. This is exactly the reason why I just relapsed.

I don't know really. But don't forget that your making progress by abstaining for many weeks/months ! Even if you eventually relapse, it does not erase your progress. Try to make it even longer next time. I hope that eventually we will stop forever.

 

This is an essential question for most of us. And while I cannot claim tremendous success in this regard, I can share a couple things that are working pretty we'll for me:

• At some point every day I try to do a kind of life review. I imagine what my life will be like if I continue with this addiction in exacting detail. What happens, what are the consequences, who is affected, and so on. Then I imagine what my life will be like if I learn to resist this addiction - again in exacting detail. Then I make a conscious choice: What will it be today - this or that?
• I try to come here and / or do some other recovery work every day. When my motivation is high, when my motivation is low. When I'm really clean, when I've slipped up. In all instances, I keep engaging this work.

All the best...