Why do so many heterosexual Men suffer from ''HOCD''

That statement means only a heterosexual man could be masculine at all, what has absolutly no substance in reality. There are so many bisexual and also homosexual men in history/showbusiness/society, who are very masculine, while being also attracted to males. (Julius Caesar for example, Achilles, Alexander the Great,T.E. Lawrence, Rock Hudson, James Dean, etc.etc.) Ever heard of the classical greek and roman societies or read Plato´s ideas about eros? It´s a question of cultural imprintment.
There are women who can be masculine, as same there are many sexually straight men who appear kind of feminine. You do not represent masculinity exclusivly, just because your are only attracted to women, that´s total wishful thinking and reveals a very simple superficial understanding of masculinity/feminity. Feminity is nothing that would be an exclusive feature of heterosexual women alone either. In fact your concept of masculinity is so fragile, that it gets shattered or damaged already by the simple idea, just to sexually desire any person, who others might potentially disagree with. Where the hell is this masculine? Asking and have need for others approval, before daring to fullfill your own will and always fearing their opinion about you? That´s "wanna be a good boy" behaviour, but not that of a masculine man.

Transpeople (MtF) don´t want to appear masculine at all, but the opposite. Gay men are on the contrast sexually attracted to masculinity and some of them want to appear as masculine as possible too and they are often successfull in this, by appearing more masculine than many totally straight men, who just don´t care about it. The whole culture of machismo and male exclusive societies like in arabic countries or other warrior classes, have a long history of silently accepted homosexual behaviour and close male friendships running under the surface.

Okay, you have just proven that you have no idea about the reality of transexual people. And I am out of the debate, as soon somebody starts to argue with "god´s creation" or any other form of religious biased argumentation in questions considering human sexuality. It´s just a waste of time in my opinion.

I am repeating myself, I don´t "give a shit", what other men enjoy while masturbating. It´s not my business, I do not care.
But I do care, when they start to downgrade especially those people, they secretly enjoy jerking off too, like transpeople. That´s not masculine at all in my opinion, that´s worst cowardish chicken shit. That´s like an accepted family father, who runs regularly in the brothel and who on the next day condemns prostitutes in front of his family, that they would all help "to spread diseases".

 

Perfect. I feel like I'm losing my identity.

Men were born to be warriors, at least that's how I always wanted to be.

If I give myself up to this addiction, for whatever reason, I am believing that I am incapable of leaving a woman with a bitch alone.

If you met a woman who thinks and enjoys this type of fetish and only gives value to it, know that in the funto it is already corrupted as well.

I always liked sex with passion, respect, affection. And I do not want to change just because there are women who do not want sex with love. Fairy these women.

We are warriors! We are male! We are men!

 

This thread is fucking stupid. Gay people don't know what it's like to be straight and vice versa, and people who don't have HOCD don't know what it's like to have it. It's not a disorder like schizophrenia, its a manifestation of obsessive compulsive disorder that focuses on sexuality and attraction. I don't understand WHY its so hard to understand. No one cares that you don't understand. Meanwhile people on this thread are accusing people who have these obsessive compulsions of being bi-sexual or not completely straight. Just because you might be curious doesn't mean your bi. And as for gay porn use, that doesn't mean its relevant to your sexual orientation or preferences, it's rather being curious or discovering things nor does arousal. Usually its a phase. I went through it and I'm not gay. Why do you people feel so threatened by straight males who have to go through this? People who struggle with these obsessive compulsive thoughts aren't attacking gay sexuality we are rather just trying to make sense of what is happening. I'm tired of the whole denial shit. People who have this aren't in denial or even gay. I'm sick of the "your judging gay people" or the "you are just homophobic". No.

 

And I don´t care more than this about the rants of someone, who suddenly wants to enter this debate, while being a member since today.

Also you obviously don´t understand with your just 16 years (if that age is correct at all) yet, that there is nothing "accusive" in being bisexual, homosexual, straight, transexual or asexual. People are what they are, it´s like to "accuse" someone being a blond or brown eyed person.

Who the hell is "we"? Or what means "your sexuality"? You cannot attack my sexuality, even if you wanted to, that´s just not possible.

You miss the point of this debate, of what you obviously only have read the small part that triggered you to build that new account.

 

That statement was not directly to you and you clearly cared enough to respond. You still don't seem to understand what I mean by accusing. Maybe that wasn't the right word but it sure feels like thats alot of what is being done. Watching something other than straight porn doesn't mean you desire it or make you gay/bi what ever else there is. But yet, certain people are trying to get people who struggle with this to accept that they are something they are not. If they say they aren't, they aren't.

 

Why else would anyone watch porn, if there is no desire for it inside him? If it were only for curiousity, you would it watch it like some gross video, maybe showing it to others to shock them with it, and then just move on for something else. But if you start to get really excited by it and even can jerk off to that stuff, than it has found a point in your sexual desires to connect. You have opened yourself up and submitted to it´s influence, you have given it mental power over you by masturbating. Of course that can influence and shape/deform your future desires then, and as longer you are devoted to this, as stronger might be the influence. You cannot make completly undone the effects of a heroin, crack or alcohol addiction either, like it was never there. You can only stay alert and keep yourself completly away from the stuff, that tempts you to behave in a way, you have decided not to do anymore.

 

This is exactly what I am talking about. You can watch it and have no desire for it. Just because you watch it does not mean there is a desire for it. You are constantly undermining other peoples reasoning for why they have watched it and just say you secretly have a desire for it. That's not how it works. It doesn't make you gay, mean you are gay, or mean you have a desire to do it in real life. I encourage you to read this https://www.nofap.com/forum/index.php?threads/straight-guy-gay-porn.212695/. In many cases it is from lack of self esteem about bodies, curiosity, etc. You seem hellbent on trying to persuade people that they deep down have a desire for it. In fact I struggled with this for a while. I stopped watching it for 2 months, and I came back to just test what would happen if I watched it. (I wouldn't recommend testing). I found that I experienced no arousal, no excitement, and was rather bored and disgusted. Since then, I have had no desire to watch it and am not even tempted by it. The kicker? I'm straight and it didn't make me gay, mean I was gay, or even mean I was bisexual. But I'm sure you'll find some bizarre reason that It did make me gay or I did desire it.

 

Am I writing in a rare chinese dialect or something? You would not have watched it again and again, if you had no desire for it at all. It does not make sense. People do not jerk off or fantasize about things, they have no sexual connection to! Men do not jerk off to the stock market news, as long there are no bikini girls presenting them. It takes something to jerk off to something repeatingly or even seeking it out and continiously return to it, although you might feel guilty as hell about it, it has power over you. And you are crying for that absolvation:
"Oh my son, nah, you´re not gay of course or bisexual, you are just mislead by the porn, poor child! Now go on seek for the light and do not sin no more."
And I refuse to give this bullshit to you, because my life experience tells me something completly different. You can deny your excitement about it, but it will only fall asleep and as soon you would return to that kind of porn, it wakes up again, like never been away. You have build up a way for this by the addiction and you better keep that in mind, if you do not want to relapse permanently, with lamenting and wondering after it, why that does happen.

"it doesn´t make me gay! it doesn´t make me gay... it doesn´t mean anything! I am like i would have never watched porn at all, if I just stop it. I close my eyes and count to 90 days!"

Geez, I do not want you to be "gay" or "bisexual" ; I do not give a fucking shit about your sexual orientation. It´s your addiction, your sexual orientation and your future life. Deal with it. Or seek out a priest to exorcise you...

 

Yeah okay. Whatever. It's your opinion. I find your attitude very condescending. I told my story and yet you still try to decode it. Maybe it would help if I added that I never fantasized about it or "got off" to it. Could it have ever been curiosity about the male body? No you are just gay and you desire to be with them. I don't feel guilty about it, because I knew I overcame it and I don't desire it nor does it change me as a person or make me gay or bisexual. I was simply curious about the male body with insecurities about my own body with a general curiosity about porn in general. Once I got it out of my system which only lasted a few weeks, I never returned to it again. Clearly you do give a shit if you are forcing your opinion that you desire it if you watch it. You aren't a psychologist. I'm not saying your theory couldn't be true for some people, but it certainly isn't true for every one. As for the stock market, that's a rather biased comparison. I suffered from "HOCD"
but I knw I made it and it was in my own head. There for I could get out of the endless mental circle. If you know what you like and who you are attracted to in real life, not on a screen, then that's who you are attracted to. For me it is women as I am physically attracted to them in real life and with males there is nothing there and I have no interest. I don't expect you to understand this and that's fine. But more people struggle with this than you think. I don't think the 90 days is a "cure all" thing, but I think it can help in some aspects. That's fine that your life experience tells you something different, but that's your life experience. Not someone elses.
The question of this thread is WHY do so many heterosexual men suffer from HOCD? I gave my take on it, yet you again are hellbent on picking it apart. This isn't my form of self comfort or reassurance, this is my take on the many variables that can cause it.

 

Bro but for real you can’t change sexuality porn fucks with peoples brains and creates a new passage way and screws with your head. It’s just because you’ve seen a guy fuck a girl and your brain only knows to associate that with pleasure so now you think of everything that is sexual pleasure so just do a reboot and get your life back I’m still working with mine but seriously God created men and women not 164+ other genders that’s shits fake just remember time heals all wounds and we can get through this brother we can and will just porn fucked you up and now you gotta fuck porn up and say I’m gonna stop and try everything in my power to save others from this hell

 

Right on brother!

 

[QUOTE = "razer54, post: 1922214, membro: 302600"] Sim, tudo bem. Tanto faz. É a sua opinião. Eu acho sua atitude muito condescendente. Eu contei minha história e ainda assim você tenta decodificá-la. Talvez ajudasse se eu acrescentasse que nunca fantasiei sobre isso, ou que "comecei" com isso. Poderia alguma vez ter sido curiosidade sobre o corpo masculino? Não, você é apenas gay e deseja estar com eles. Eu não me sinto culpado por isso, porque eu sabia que eu superei isso e não desejo isso nem me muda como pessoa ou me faz gay ou bissexual. Eu estava simplesmente curioso sobre o corpo masculino com inseguranças sobre o meu próprio corpo com uma curiosidade geral sobre pornografia em geral. Uma vez que tirei do meu sistema, que durou apenas algumas semanas, nunca mais voltei a ele. É claro que você dá a mínima se você está forçando sua opinião de que você deseja se você assistir. Você não é um psicólogo. Eu não estou dizendo que sua teoria não pode ser verdade para algumas pessoas, mas certamente não é verdade para todos. Quanto ao mercado de ações, essa é uma comparação bastante tendenciosa. Eu sofri de "HOCD"
mas eu sabia que fiz e estava na minha cabeça. Lá, pude sair do interminável círculo mental. Se você sabe o que você gosta e a quem você é atraído na vida real, não em uma tela, então é para quem você é atraído. Para mim são as mulheres, como eu estou fisicamente atraído por elas na vida real e com os homens não há nada lá e eu não tenho interesse. Eu não espero que você entenda isso e tudo bem. Mas mais pessoas lutam com isso do que você pensa. Eu não acho que os 90 dias sejam uma coisa "cure tudo", mas acho que pode ajudar em alguns aspectos. Tudo bem que a sua experiência de vida lhe diz algo diferente, mas essa é a sua experiência de vida. Não alguém elses.
A questão deste tópico é por que tantos homens heterossexuais sofrem com o HOCD? Eu dei a minha opinião sobre isso, mas você novamente está empenhado em separá-lo. Esta não é a minha forma de auto conforto ou confiança, essa é minha opinião sobre as muitas variáveis que podem causar isso. [/ QUOTE]


Perfeito. Eu tive e tenho essa mesma dúvida. No entanto, tenho algo importante, não tenho desejo por homens. Embora eu tenha criado um fetiche de sêmen, nunca estive com homens, nem quero. E não foi por falta de oportunidade, eu tenho flertado várias vezes amigos gays que estavam apaixonados por mim. Mas eu nunca quis nada. Todas as minhas fantasias bi, corno, limpeza, precisam de uma mulher atraente e dominadora. Se você não tiver a mulher, a magia e o tesão desaparecerão. Eu sei que é confuso para muitas pessoas. Mas a mulher é o prato de todas as minhas fantasias. E eu só seria capaz de ter um transsexual, se o mesmo, ser bonito, assim como uma mulher, o transwoman precisa se lembrar de uma mulher. Bem, eu estou no início da minha jornada e pelos relatórios muito vai mudar na minha vida se eu passar até o fim.