Hello fellas, I'm not new here. I often visit Nofap and read some stories (success, tips etc.). and yet I give up to the monster lurking in the dark and become a coward who can't face these noble human struggling to be better. Or maybe I didn't have the energy. I've identified I'm an addict a long time ago. Rather than stopping, I became more addict. I started searching for ways out but somehow found new ways and techniques(M). I thought I should at least try these before going into complete reboot. And thus I kept the bad wolf feed and nourished. Two things I got out of this "knowing but not following" period is that I learned my boundaries and the other is how it was the reason for the TOTAL destruction of my life. I realized how certain things worsen and certain things improved for a short period and then went down eventually. Here is my findings. I know some of this might sound irrelevant to PMO but i noticed their change according to my PMO routine. satisfaction decreased focus decreased study stopped(totally) exercise stopped hair-loss increased became more skinny and sick looking became more anxious started developing negative thought about myself loss in confidence developed "brain fog" imagination became less vivid fantasies became twisted and perverted daydream increased much more and the topic changed to "u know what" eyesight blurred energy decreased activity(consequently productivity) decreased pain in genitals sleep problem behavior changed(all negative like anger,self consciousness,irritation etc.) back pain(either for sitting for PMO for too long or from Ca deficiency) tiredness stopped socializing( avoided friend, messenger) I am not sure about this but change in sexual orientation (one that bothers me most and one of the main reason for my relapse){I am not sure because i think it's just the problem of massive porn addiction. Cause all I see is the hardcore ones} Confusion increased value of time forgot throw my shoes one on the chair other over the shoe-case (became undisciplined) and lot more. Every time i relapse I think this is the last. The next day the cycle restarts. Now I want to stop it effectively. I want to be in control of my life. At least those parts which got chaotic for PMO. So here I am. Looking forward to win over the monster in in front of the monitor. Also how many of you felt these same problems as I did? Are all of them just for excessive PMO or other reason as well?
I'm sure many of us can relate to the kind of things you've included in your list. I will add a word of caution though mate. It is possible for an assumed cause for something, to be an evidence of something else. I am not an alarmist, but the pain in genitals could be an example of this. You may be talking about blue balls (caused by vasocongestion). You may be talking about chaffing, bleeding and swelling of the skin of your foreskin and penile shaft (caused by prone masturbation or death grip). But perhaps you have felt pain in your urethra in the centre of your penis. This is less likely to do with masturbation. If you have any doubts at all, please get checked out by your doctor. He's seen it all before, probably several times a day, lol. He is a professional and he will give you the best advice @lifeinhell. Put on some clean underpants and go and see him!
That's why I am here. I will see what happens after 90 days hard reset, if the pain continues or returns, "I am coming ,doctor" Also I wash my underpants DAILY.
I relate to everything you have said. As long as you have an intention to get better, then you will have hope and potential. Never give up! Keep fighting! Persevere!
You know that’s interesting you’ve had sleep issues. I on the other hand had actually used PMO to help me sleep. Long story short, I discovered masturbation when I was 13. Around this time I watched that Alien Resurrection movie. That shit made it hard to get to sleep for months and I’d use masturbation to keep my mind off of it so I could sleep and as you can imagine I’ve become reliant on it and eventually as time went on I did it perpetually every night for years.
I don't know. Some of my friend reported if they felt sleepy in during study they would PMO and start study again. PMO makes them refreshed not-sleepy and focused.