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30 days today. I thought I'd feel better

Discussion in 'Rebooting - Porn Addiction Recovery' started by Deleted Account, Mar 3, 2019.

  1. Mar 3, 2019 #1
    Deleted Account

    Deleted Account Guest

    Alrighty, I remember I did 30 days 4 years ago and I felt amazing but my libido and morning wood nearly really came back. Then I relapsed gradually over the years and found myself watching porn occasionally, looking at pics etc.

    For the past 4 years I probably M twice a week and watched porn 4 times a month. And somspellsls were it was more like 10 times a month. Erections got weaker and weaker.

    Started this 30 days ago after poor sex after first attempt in ages, never morning wood, no libido at all and awful spells of OCD and depression.

    So 2nd attempt:

    1st first week: felt sharp, morning wood came back but pretty weak. Some spells of happiness and improved connection with people
    2nd week: same as first week
    3rd week: morning wood most days but poor libido and awful ocd and depression – note, I was working bloody hard this week. I cried a few times too as I felt empty at times - and I never cry!
    4th week: More of less the same as week 3.

    Right now? libido is weak but an improvement from 30 days ago. OCD has improved. It's been pretty easy to be honest – mostly becuase I barely have a libido.

    Gonna keep going until my libido is "normal".

    Side note: when I fully recover. I think I might M once a month just with imagaination and look to have sex reguarly. I'm just not 100% convinced that no M ever again is a good idea. One quick one a month seems ok to me – I'll be strong enough not to relapse. Any else tried this or thinking something similar?

    I saw Max from RSD recommends 1 M a week without porn to keep a healthy sex drive and libido.
     
    Deleted Account, Mar 3, 2019
    Deleted Account, Mar 3, 2019
    #1
    Barlumedisperanza likes this.
  2. Mar 3, 2019 #2
    Barlumedisperanza

    Barlumedisperanza Fapstronaut

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    I’m also in 1 month no PMO streak ( Started 4 February and today it’s 4 March).

    I also feel my social skills improved a bit and I feel a lot less anxiety in general but I have 0 libido since I started and I’m scared about that.

    I sometimes have weak morning woods and when I was with girls in bed I could only get quick and weak erection that soon faded, just no sexual arousal even if I was into them, had confidence ecc.

    I’m starting to feel some urges now (since a week ago I had no urge at all, even if it was about porn) but now I have faced some risky situations with porn-related things (like memes of fake taxi on Facebook with people giving the links in the comments) when I thought about giving up but I am managing not to do that.

    I really want to hit the 90 days streak, but I’m also very worried about my lack of libido and sexual arousal with women, I hope it is just a matter of time
     
    Barlumedisperanza, Mar 3, 2019
    Barlumedisperanza, Mar 3, 2019
    #2
  3. Mar 4, 2019 #3
    Deleted Account

    Deleted Account Guest

    You're making progress at least. We live once-may as well try for longer. Many recommend 3 months...
     
    Deleted Account, Mar 4, 2019
    Deleted Account, Mar 4, 2019
    #3
  4. Mar 4, 2019 #4
    bigboibez

    bigboibez Fapstronaut

    706
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    Guys dont worry about libido, that will return. I understand where youre coming from. I have kinda weak and inconsistent morning wood when i get good streaks going. Just keep going and normal libido will come back.
     
    bigboibez, Mar 4, 2019
    bigboibez, Mar 4, 2019
    #4
    Barlumedisperanza, Fallensoldier1 and wlx3 like this.
  5. Mar 4, 2019 #5
    Deleted Account

    Deleted Account Guest

    How long are your streaks? How long until it comes back? How many times have you relapsed?
     
    Deleted Account, Mar 4, 2019
    Deleted Account, Mar 4, 2019
    #5
  6. Mar 4, 2019 #6
    bigboibez

    bigboibez Fapstronaut

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    I had a streak back in summer 18 of around 45 days, and my morning wood and libido were very good. I was more a recreational user back then, i never edged, just finished the job as quickly as possible and moved on.

    I am now an addict however, from so many episodes of abstinence and relapse. It strengthens the neural pathways a lot. Although i have overall cut down a lot on my PMO use, i am more attached to it now. I think now it will take me at least 2 months to return to a normal libido. I recently came off a 35 day streak and its tough.

    Ultimately i realised deep down my brain still wants porn, despite the damage its doing. I need a change of angle to beat this. Im gonna read some books and see what can be done. Until i have a solution, im gonna minimise my triggers and abstain as long as possible. You guys keep going, youre probably almost there.
     
    bigboibez, Mar 4, 2019
    bigboibez, Mar 4, 2019
    #6
    Anonymous86 likes this.
  7. Mar 4, 2019 #7
    Anonymous86

    Anonymous86 Fapstronaut

    2,830
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    Do you have an active libido right now?
     
    Anonymous86, Mar 4, 2019
    Anonymous86, Mar 4, 2019
    #7
  8. Mar 4, 2019 #8
    bigboibez

    bigboibez Fapstronaut

    706
    631
    93
    Morning wood is half way there and libido can recover if i get another good streak going. Ive PMOd 3 times in the last 8 days so im tryna get another streak going. Will update on progress
     
    bigboibez, Mar 4, 2019
    bigboibez, Mar 4, 2019
    #8
    Anonymous86 likes this.

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