Day 2 - Big changes and comfort zone

Double Digits!!

Today was a great day. Another day down and it’s starting to get a little bit easier. I’ve made a little gap to this addiction and hopefully it’s staying in my rear view. I know I have a few days left to prove and I am trying hard. I’m actually getting to the point where I’m sick of it and sick mentioning it. I am stronger than this. I can beat this. I feel like this week has been so productive.

Everything this going well, however our relationship could be doing a little better and I’ll be working hard on it to make it at its best.

Keep the day going. Keep the counter going.

 

Today was a challenging day, I’m not going to lie.

I had a few urges and I think it might have been due to nerves and trying to go to that “safe place” where nothing can go “wrong” and to feel good but I abstained and kept my head cool. They were out of nowhere and it shows me that the addiction is still lurking somewhere in me. I’m starting to feel a lot of ups and downs in the day, sometimes I remember how far I have came and I feel amazing and it puts a smile on my face and other times I get really sad when the reality kicks in and I’m in the middle of a serious addiction.
To top this all off, there’s more arguing in the relationship, ups and downs there as well and it’s all just a massive headache. However in the end I know my goal is to beat this and that’s what it all comes down to. I feel like I have put my efforts into other things and by doing so, I have let this slip a little.
I am not reading into this as much as I should and doing my research, however I’m back on it and focused, and to be honest, for a little motivational booster, to read all the successful stories on here and get me back into the swing of things.

Let tomorrow be a great day!

 

Thank you hope4healing for the advice.

I’m sure I did this in the past and I know what I’m looking out for this time. I will beat this and I will go back to being normal. Today has been a very busy day and my best yet. I’m actually starting to feel so happy with myself and it’s a little confidence booster. Today I went and revisited a big hobby of mine of its reminded me of simpler times when the addiction hadn’t started. This made me realise how badly I want thing to go back to the way they were. One more day to go!

Twenty is the next target!

 

It’s been a while from my last post. However it’s good news.

We’ve had more arguments and this week, however we’ve got around them. We had a few good talks said some stuff we didn’t mean to and and made up. It’s a total rollercoaster of emotions and somethimes it’s a little hard to deal with when you’re trying to get over the addiction, however it’s deserved. Somethings I do agree with and I have tried my best to be patient and calm and other things I don’t agree with, both have been spoke about and we’ve agreed on them.

We had a good, successful night last night and it really feels that one foot is in front of the other now. I feel good, and I have that amazing, confident feeling back when you’re a good few weeks without P. I missed this feeling when I was so low. Now I’m on a high and I feel so productive and have already planned things to do around two weeks in advance.

It’s been a good few days and I’m eager to see what the next few hold and see what more changes and positive things are ahead because this is around my failure point the past two attempts but this one feels a lot better already. This time, I have gave up everything. No lies, no P.

I want to thank you guys and gals for the support, my alert box is always full of support, likes and comments and it’s great to see and sometimes I checkout your posts as well.

Next target, 20 days.

 

Only one more day now until 20.

The days are getting easier however I’m not letting my guard down, I’m noticing a few changes to my appearance, not just down there but all over and it might just be me. I have had a lot to do today and tomorrow will be the same, and it’s keeping me occupied but at the same time, I’m not getting a lot of urges. I’ve left it behind, it’s no good for me, it causes so much damage, so why would I miss it.
I’m feeling a lot happier now and I’m over the moon with the progress thus far.

Milestone 20 in sight.

 

Done it! I finally reached 20, one a day to go before the 3 week mark.

It’s been a total rollercoaster of emotions today. I feel like it’s a juggling act and I’m trying to keep everything going. My SO has already admitted that she has one foot out the door and the other, is testing me non stop, throwing stuff in my face to see how I deal with things. I am doing so well with this addiction and it feels like the only solid thing I used to hold onto is trying to pull away. I don’t expect much help, if any at all for the pain I have caused her but she has a plan B if things done work out between us and we’re arguing more than ever. I just don’t know what to do.
I feel like I am throwing everything at this relationship, and she admits my efforts are the most it’s ever been for us, however in return it’s just for sub par efforts, arguments from nowhere, accusations and judgements. I’m not struggling, I’m just lost.

Let’s get 3 week now!