If you imagine, BY ANY MEANS WHATSOEVER, that you're having sex when you're not, YOU ARE FANTASIZING

Hands down. You shouldn't fantasize to begin with if you're trying to get off PMO because you don't know whether or not that sexual fantasy can send you into a downwards spiral. Even placing the thought in your head is enough. It's like planting a seed in fertile soil. No sexual thoughts/fantasies/whatever you want to call it, distract yourself immediately if it happens

 

Absolutely!!! Its just porn in your mind.

 

Good words. Hard to live by sometimes. It is just so much easier to track the PMO than the thoughts, and base your success off of that. I agree with you though.

Fight on brother!

 

As with everything else it depends on the person. There is a difference. I can understand that both might trigger bad effects/behavior. If you can’t control it it is as bad as everything else. I understand that many people here have real issues, but spending time here sometimes makes me think that many people try to focus on negative things not allowing any positive aspect about sexuality and that they are making the rules so hard that they will feel bad anyway or maybe even fail eventually.

 

Is the moral of the story to not sexually fantasize in your mind because it could lead to masturbation?

Am I allowed to fantasize about my partner? Or does that still count as fantasizing that you should avoid.

 

I agree with you absolutely, but I'm not sure there is any way to completely disregard sexual fantasy. Every night I have intense sexual dreams, and I don't know of a way to not wake up and fantasize about that dream going further.

Man, if I could just stop all sexual thoughts and work on other things, that would be ideal. I have no use for them in the real world, I don't plan on having kids or getting into a relationship, so really they're just distractions for me.

 

Yeah I have to agree. I don't want to keep doing this anymore. I pretty much fantasize every night while laying in bed. It's useless. I don't want think about doing anything, I'd rather actually do it in real life. Arousing myself with creations of my own mind isn't good, it isn't real. I only want to care about the real stuff.

 

From what I know of you so far, I am quite surprised you do this. I am also surprised that in doing this, you are not really tempted to masturbate.

 

You cannot stop sexual thoughts or images flashing into your mind. Fantasizing is dwelling on them. To dwell on them is a conscious choice, ergo, it can be stopped. In my opinion, the effective method is to replace the thoughts or images. I live alone and singing out loud is the best means I have tried. When your mind is consumed with the melody, the timing the phrasing and the lyrics themselves, there is no spare capacity to fantasise about sex. What other methods do others use?

 

Yeah honestly I never thought of fantasizing as much of a problem. I thought at least it's not visual imagery, and I didn't fantasize about porn. It only happens at night time when I'm laying on my bed with lights off. It doesn't make me wanna masturbate, that hasn't even crossed my mind when it comes to this. But yeah this is a problem I get most nights. It's like the last remnant of my habit after cutting everything else out. It is hard to not get any sexual stimulation from anything. I am a lustful teenager after all, I have high libido. But I don't want to get the stimulation from any of this. It needs to be real. I want to fully reboot first before anything real actually happens with someone.

 

^^ This. I know that I was forced to do a lot of things during my abuse, but I find that to be different since it was something that I didn't want. I want to be rebooted and healed before I try anything with anyone since I don't want to get into something, only to break down and have a panic attack since it could be a trigger. This reboot has made me see a lot about myself and so, when I finally complete it (whenever it might be), I want to feel ready and whole when doing something real for the first time in my entire life.

 

Yeah, good point lol.

 

Can you prove that’s the point?