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How to stop creating fantasies

Discussion in 'Compulsive Sexual Behavior' started by Carcar, Mar 13, 2019.

  1. Carcar

    Carcar Fapstronaut

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    I’d like you to share with me tricks about how to avoid creating sexual fantasies in your mind whenever you see a beautiful woman, at work or your friends for instance, I get anxious when It happens, like I receive an instant shot of dopamine but I don’t want to, cause I can’t concentrate, It’s terrible cause I’m also objectifying the women that I meet...Annoying and frustrating having to think about sex all the day....staying strong! 30 days streak!

    Thanks!
     
  2. de severn

    de severn Moderator Assistant

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    I used to be like that. My advice is to be conscious of yourself when it happens. You can’t control the impulse but you can decide whether you indulge or not. Acknowledge it and dismiss it.
     
  3. Good advice. Also I have been trough this many times. When it happens, try to remember this: you are not your thougths. You can put a little distance between you and the thougths you don't like, do this constantly and they will start to become less heavy, they are part of you (for now) but they don't define you!
     
  4. ultrafabber

    ultrafabber Fapstronaut

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    Accept that fantasizing IS porn. In some cases it can be "better" and more powerful than porn. I keep saying this but very few want to listen.. as long as you're sexually fantasizing you're not doing nofap.
     
  5. de severn

    de severn Moderator Assistant

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    SO TRUE!
     
    Deleted Account likes this.
  6. spirit_activated

    spirit_activated Fapstronaut

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    I'm confused. I will "listen" to your argument, but I'm not convinced by you simply stating it as a fact. Why do you equate fantasizing with porn? To me they are very different.

    As I understand it nofap is a tool to be used, not some rigid ideology with clear definitions of what "doing nofap" means.
     
  7. ultrafabber

    ultrafabber Fapstronaut

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    The world "ideology" is overused and often carries a negative connotation these days. This is not an ideology.

    You don't have to "listen" to anything any you're not doing me a favor by "listening". Like I said, you get the same result with fantasizing - sexual arousal. When you fantasize you create imagery, which is sometimes more potent than porn, especially because it's tailored to fit exactly what you want.
     
    de severn and Deleted Account like this.
  8. Road to freedom

    Road to freedom Fapstronaut

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    Man, you are SO correct! I wish I just knew it years ago... Even until recently I did not take this fact seriously.
     
  9. ultrafabber

    ultrafabber Fapstronaut

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    Yeah man, definitely a very hard pill to swallow. It took me 6 years and a lost LTR to accept it. Hopefully others won't have to go through that.

    An addict will never easily give up his source of infinite pleasure and relaxation.
     
    StrawHat26 and Deleted Account like this.
  10. de severn

    de severn Moderator Assistant

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    Sorry but I agree with ultrafapper...

    I think fantasizing is way worse than porn. Fantasizing is unlimited. The categories never end with fantasizing. Incest, children, animals, and other extreme and/or illegal porn categories can be exploited in an active imagination. And no, it’s not “safer” to fantasize about those things just because you think it’ll satisfy the urge and keep your desires dormant in real life. What you’re doing using that logic is creating an obsession that supercedes your desire to enjoy anything else.

    Meditation and the practice of self-discipline is crucial when it comes to curbing any bad fantasies. You basically need to push every fleeting image that pops into your head out unless you like being at odds with reality.
     
  11. spirit_activated

    spirit_activated Fapstronaut

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    All I'm saying is there any many approaches to "doing nofap". I was really just hoping to understand better your perspective, there's no need to get defensive. I appreciated your and de severn's willingness to expand on it. Thank you.
     
  12. ultrafabber

    ultrafabber Fapstronaut

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    Not being defensive, just saying that "ideology" is an inappropriate term that carries way more meaning than you might think it does and is not fitted here.
     
  13. Theres alot you can do, the problem is most wont do it.

    It's about retraining your brain which is like training your body. It takes discipline and repetition.

    You could snap a rubber band that you wear around your wrist everytime you catch yourself doing this.

    This is primitive yes but it's a start.

    You practice an affirmation everytime you catch yourself along with a physical action like touching your pinky in a certain way.


    Look up neural linguistic programming.

    You want to reprogram your brain.
     
  14. #TimeToChange19

    #TimeToChange19 Fapstronaut

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    When you're walking down the street or through a city, keep your gaze down so you avoid looking at woman. But ofcourse, talking to woman is different. Over time you need to start appreciating them for their beauty, rather than giving them a facial.
     
  15. Road to freedom

    Road to freedom Fapstronaut

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    I surely was close to loosing my relationship due to porn fetishes obsession. But the obsession starts in one's mind, before actually looking for online stuff. Sounds like you reached the bottom, hope you only go up from here.
     
    ultrafabber likes this.
  16. Carcar

    Carcar Fapstronaut

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    Thank you all for your advices and support! I know fantasazing is a terrible habit, I’m trying to dismiss It inmediatly when It arises, It works but I end up with negative feelings and anxiety. It has increased since I begun with Nofap, but I can understand my brain is not getting it’s dopamin doses as before...hard path, but we all are able to train our brains.
    Fantasizing is porn, I agree, the hardest part is to quit keeping these mental patterns cause even though i don’t PMO, I still feel bad fantasizing...
     

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