Uniting NoFap women and men. A dialog.

There are better things to apologize for than for finding women sexually attractive ...

 

I think he is apologizing for thinking of women as objects, not for thinking they are attractive. Those are two different things.

Oscillation I think not objectifying women is one of the most important things you can do to beat this addiction. When you start to see women as humans and not objects they become less triggering. Doesn't mean you don't find women attractive but you no longer think pornographic thoughts about them. This will help you tremendously on your road to freedom.

 

The expression "seeing women as objects" is being misused. Almost noone would actually want a woman that is without emotion, feeling, and movement. What it has come to mean is, seeing a woman and wanting sex with her without getting to know her first. That is finding women sexually attractive.

 

But that isn't true in all cases. Women are objectified in our culture. I think a better definition objectification is "using" - to whatever end. When a person uses another person for their body, without regard for the other's personhood, that is objectification.

Finding a woman attractive isn't all about sex either, I would argue.

Oscillation, I think your apology is very admirable. I agree with you, and I apologize to all the women I've used as well through immorality - if you read this - know I'm sorry.

 

Objectification is when you remove a persons humanity and reduce them to an object. People do it to homeless people on the street and to women etc. When you remove the humanity you can do depraved things to them without regard for their well being, emotions and humanity. Finding a woman attractive is about the whole person, not the sum of her body parts. Yes physically you need to be attracted to her but not getting to know someone because she doesn't have DD boobs or a tight ass is pure objectification. You also need to objectify women in order to get off to porn. Thinking of the person in the film as a whole person will make you lose your erection. The porn industry doesn't want that. This is why women are called "sluts, whores, cum buckets" etc. If they reduce women to objects needing to be fucked it is easier for you to get off. There is a whole business and science behind porn. Do you you ever wonder why women are not as into porn as men? It isn't because of availability of sex it's because we have a much harder time viewing others as objects or the women in the films as objects because to us they are women and we can relate to them. This is also why women are more into erotic literature and story lines where the characters have humanity.

The thing about objectification is that it has been taught to you since you were born. It is so insidious that you don't even understand the difference between finding someone attractive and objectification. We have essentially equated finding a woman attractive with finding a car attractive. "Gee I'd love to own and drive that nice car" and "gee I'd like to fuck that girl" can be used interchangeably. Neither "thing" has humanity and has therefore been objectified. As a woman I can offer a different perspective because I have not been taught to objectify men but rather myself. When I see an attractive man my mind does not immediately go to sex. It goes to wondering about that person. What is he like, what does he do for a living or for fun. I feel a need to get to know them. I never imagine them naked and I never think about their penis or how big it is etc. I am a normal hetero woman who loves sex.

It is becoming more and more prevalent to see objectifying of men as well now. I used to have a friend who objectified men like crazy, but she was not the norm in my group of friends. Her main concern with finding a bf was whether or not he had 6 pack abs. It wasn't the persons humanity but his body part.

 

Nonsense. Unless you see a person as a sexless, unnatural neuter. A person can still be a woman.

Because they are not so much attracted by looks like men, but status, confidence, ...

Noone ever told me women are objects. If they did I might laugh at them. Quite the opposite keeps being taught.

How does that mean the girl has no humanity? It means I'd like to fuck that living, breathing, feeling girl!


Sorry for hijacking your thread Oscillation. If you want i will make a separate one.

 

Immor it is obvious you do not believe objectification of women exists and there are countless sociologists, porn producers and scholarly articles on the subject which would disagree. I am obviously not doing a good job of explaining it to you, or you refuse to see another perspective.

Sorry Oscillation!