When?

When will I be convinced to quit porn?

I PMO'd yesterday. And yet again today. Whether or not it happens again tomorrow, I expect that I'll do it again within the next week. The thing is, I don't have to. But I do it again anyways.

What makes this a problem is that I'm not helplessly addicted to porn anymore. I used to be - needing to do it every day or two, barely able to go even a day further. But now I'm not anymore. I can go 2 weeks. I can go 3 weeks. My longest streak was 44 days. I'm still addicted to porn, but I know I can help it. I have it within me to quit PMO.

But each time, I choose to give in to the urge without a fight. I can last a week without porn without a second thought, but then go straight into it in an instant. I could get myself to a 20-day streak, but then end it. I know that if I exert my conviction, I'd at be able to get a lot further. But I don't have that conviction.

Each time I relapse, it's because my brain tells me "why do you need to quit porn?" or, "you can quit another time, but enjoy it today!". And i don't stop it, I just let it happen.

I'm not here to whine or seek pity. I genuinely want help and advice. I can go as far as I can but, in a moment, lacking conviction, I fall back again. Reasons to throw at myself when I feel like quitting are useful, and on top of those I need one solid thing, carved in stone, to hold myself to. I hope I can find these soon...



If there's anyone reading this, I guess there's no harm in asking... why are you convinced to quit porn?

 

Thanks dude, you're right. PMO is only going to ruin my life. And the rest of our lives.

 

Thanks for reaching out to say this. I really do need to set it straight within myself that I need to do all I can to quit porn. Because right now, I'm relapsing because my brain tells myself that although it would be good to quit porn, it's not burning my life or anything. That's my mind tricking me into thinking it's not a big deal, and I can just quit another time.

But that's a lie. If I could just quit another time, why am I finding it so hard to quit... now? Even if porn isn't burning my life, it sure is freezing my life. It's stopping me from going further even though I can. And it's making the rest of my world feel cold, and not worthy of pursuing, while making the warm embrace of this addictive illusion even more enticing.

Thanks for helping me realize this. It's good to know someone else has been here before. Now I've told myself what's going on in my mind, that it's all lying to me. But on top of knowing that, I need to be ready - and more importantly, willing - to catch myself when I am about to believe these things.

 

What I meant by not being "helplessly" addicted is being able to go a week or so without feeling the need for porn. It's not the best way to describe it. But yes, I definitely am addicted, and not in a way that I can easily break out of; making it "helpless" in a sense. Anyways, I appreciate your advice and acknowledge that I do have a problem.

About your advice - that actually seems like some really solid stuff. Disrupt your usual porn-watching time, prevent yourself from falling into vulnerable situations, and fill up your time with stuff worth doing.

It's good to know that you toughed it out, and got past the hardest part after a few weeks. Encourages us that we can also do the same.

Disrupt and replace. I need to find my own way of doing that.

I usually relapse at the end of the day, replacing my first hour or so of sleep. I'm not exactly sure how to disrupt that, but I'll watch out for that and catch myself then. Maybe I'll replace that by making myself write a to-do-list for the next day, to get myself thinking about tomorrow, instead of gratifying myself today.

I also relapse sometimes after looking at porn earlier in the day, or thinking about it. I tell myself it's not a full relapse, but it always ends up the same way - I PMO that night, or the next. I need to catch myself and remind myself of what it'll end up as if I go through with it. And immediately shock myself out of that mind state, and get something better to do.

Cool to know that you replaced PMO with music. I spend a lot of my time on music too, either listening to it, or playing instruments. I've been doing this less though, and wouldn't give up a PMO session for music. But I could use this to actively replace my PMO time, among other things. I've been exercising too, and I've been waiting on trying a bit of writing too. I need to get out of my state of thinking about porn, and redirect my attention to something else.

(Unrelated to this, I'm curious to ask - what is some of the music that you listened to as you mentioned?)

Anyways, thanks a lot. I'll use what you said to help in my fight against PMO.