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This girl

Discussion in 'Success Stories' started by Pyramid, Mar 1, 2015.

Page 1 of 3
  1. Mar 1, 2015 #1
    Pyramid

    Pyramid Fapstronaut

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    Last night I got a drink with a close friend of mine. Not just close friend -- one of my best friends. I have always been close with her, for many years. We experimented sexually with each other about a year ago, and despite the risks, we remained good friends.

    Last night, she opened up to me. And I, I opened up with her, too. She looked in my eyes and told me that something has changed about me. Maybe it was the eye contact I held or the deep interest I showed in her life, but why?

    Here's why: I wasn't focused on fucking her. I wasn't focused on "How can I turn this conversation into something sexual and stimulating?" Last night, I viewed this girl as an amazing human being with some of the most insanely beautiful thoughts, such an amazing disposition, and it occurred to me: is this what I have been missing all my life?

    When you give up porn, masturbation, and even the fucking THOUGHT of those entities, your brain and your emotions and feelings are able to FINALLY express themselves. I consider myself to be a manly man who takes no shit from nobody. I hit the gym hard, work my ass off, and do what's right, morally. But something was always suppressed when I let my addiction dictate where I allocated my sexual energy.

    Last night, I gained a huge insight that I want you to contemplate: Giving up your addiction is more than just ridding yourself of an unwanted feature. What nobody talks about is not what you lose, but what you gain. Sure, you lose the addiction. But what you gain is far more important. You gain an insight into yourself. You gain an opportunity to connect with people on a higher motherfucking level. You gain a solace and peace about yourself. You gain muscle in the gym. You gain endurance when you're studying or working. You gain friendships that are based off humanism and quality.

    So how do you keep yourself motivated to continue? Allow me to paraphrase something I once read:

    Fuck motivation.

    Motivation is a fickle and unreliable little bitch and isn't worth your time. It's better to cultivate discipline than rely on motivation. Force yourself to do things. Force yourself to get up out of bed and get to work. For yourself to change. Motivation is fleeting and it's easy to rely on because it requires no concentrated effort to get. Motivation comes to you - you don't even have to chase after it.

    Disciple is reliable, motivation if fleeting. The question isn't how to maintain your motivation. It's how to train yourself to work without it.
     
    Pyramid, Mar 1, 2015
    Pyramid, Mar 1, 2015
    #1
    Amin, FULLMETAL, Bubba13 and 38 others like this.
  2. Mar 1, 2015 #2
    ds112358

    ds112358 Fapstronaut

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    This is the truth, man. This mentality is what helped me reboot my life, and this is what is helping me rebuild myself after my relapse. Motivation should never be external. If you rely on what you are going to get, or lose, if you do something, what happens when that external factor goes away? Can you still move forwards. It's very difficult. Whatever drive you have to do anything, it should come from within you. Because you want it, because you are going to do what is necessary to achieve it. And good things will happen, it is impossible that they won't. Keep going, man, you have come to a very precious realisation.

    DS.
     
    ds112358, Mar 1, 2015
    ds112358, Mar 1, 2015
    #2
    Donbradd and akiale13 like this.
  3. Mar 1, 2015 #3
    scottfree

    scottfree Fapstronaut

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    Right on Pyramid. I really like this post. Keep on!
     
    scottfree, Mar 1, 2015
    scottfree, Mar 1, 2015
    #3
  4. Mar 1, 2015 #4
    NoBrainer

    NoBrainer Distinguished Fapstronaut

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    Agreed. Keep up the good work. :)
     
    NoBrainer, Mar 1, 2015
    NoBrainer, Mar 1, 2015
    #4
    Kurapika likes this.
  5. Mar 1, 2015 #5
    Valiant

    Valiant Fapstronaut

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    Keep on going brother.
     
    Valiant, Mar 1, 2015
    Valiant, Mar 1, 2015
    #5
  6. Mar 2, 2015 #6
    TemporaryUsername3892

    TemporaryUsername3892 Fapstronaut

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    agreed..me ...to wanna rock ...on the way
     
    TemporaryUsername3892, Mar 2, 2015
    TemporaryUsername3892, Mar 2, 2015
    #6
  7. Mar 2, 2015 #7
    fapequalsdeath

    fapequalsdeath Fapstronaut

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    The definition of discipline is doing the things you must do wheather you like it or not. But why disregard motivation why not feel good while doing them. Of course you won't feel up to it always but that's exactly when the discipline kicks in. Rip off the good from the merits the world has to offer.
     
    fapequalsdeath, Mar 2, 2015
    fapequalsdeath, Mar 2, 2015
    #7
  8. Mar 2, 2015 #8
    HeisenbergBlue

    HeisenbergBlue Fapstronaut

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    This post is great. To be successful, you must do whats needed to be successful even when you don't feel like it. That is discipline. Its like my new sleeping routine, in bed by 1:00am, no pissing about on my phone in bed, straight to sleep, alarm goes of at 9:00am and i jump out of bed and get out to face the day. No fucking about anymore watching porn and playing with my phone in bed. Sometimes i dont feel like getting out of bed at 9, but i just fucking do it. Time to get things done.

    If you struggle with discipline, one thing you can implement is to start slow. For example, set a bed routine like myself and follow it everyday and you must not fail at it. Eventually it will become second nature. Then slowly start to implement other habits on a daily basis. USE your motivation to feed your discipline.
     
    HeisenbergBlue, Mar 2, 2015
    HeisenbergBlue, Mar 2, 2015
    #8
    lifeistooshort, intodust, Musta and 2 others like this.
  9. Mar 2, 2015 #9
    Deleted Account

    Deleted Account Guest

    Awesome. This is one of the best summaries about discipline. I can follow this. Thanks.
     
    Deleted Account, Mar 2, 2015
    Deleted Account, Mar 2, 2015
    #9
    Buzzltyr likes this.
  10. Mar 2, 2015 #10
    Limeaid

    Limeaid Guest

    Getting rid of the sexual objectification of women is one of the best outcomes of no PMO. This also in turn helps you fight PMO urges because women become less trigger worthy when you see them as humans and you aren't thinking about having sex with them all the time!

    Great work :)
     
    Limeaid, Mar 2, 2015
    Limeaid, Mar 2, 2015
    #10
    Elduderino likes this.
  11. Mar 2, 2015 #11
    Verhart

    Verhart Fapstronaut

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    The post is great, but I can not agree entirely.
    For me, it's not about forcing myself to do something. You force yourself to eat liver because you know it's hella healthy, but you want to puke after this shit. Let me tell you one thing which working out thought me - it's not about the goal, it's about the process. It's not important if you achive the goal, but it's important how wanting to achive has changed you. What do you think would do an average guy, if he got an athlete body he dreamed about since he was 15? He would fucking lose it in no more than one year.

    So here is my message: Love the process, let the goal be achived.

    ^^There is a great film about that philosophy, check out: Way of the Peaceful Warrior
     
    Verhart, Mar 2, 2015
    Verhart, Mar 2, 2015
    #11
    akiale13, Musta, KeenEye and 1 other person like this.
  12. Mar 2, 2015 #12
    TotalLifeChange

    TotalLifeChange Fapstronaut

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    A lot of us are actually constantly talking about that :)

    But great insight.
     
    TotalLifeChange, Mar 2, 2015
    TotalLifeChange, Mar 2, 2015
    #12
  13. Mar 2, 2015 #13
    dedManfapping

    dedManfapping Fapstronaut

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    Love that post! Only someone who "knows" could have written those words.
     
    dedManfapping, Mar 2, 2015
    dedManfapping, Mar 2, 2015
    #13
  14. Mar 2, 2015 #14
    benjo551

    benjo551 Fapstronaut

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    Really good stuff!
     
    benjo551, Mar 2, 2015
    benjo551, Mar 2, 2015
    #14
  15. Mar 4, 2015 #15
    KaiserKhan786

    KaiserKhan786 Fapstronaut

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    you sir are awesome ,thats really motivate ME .....
    yeah i know fuck motivation
    but this does really motivates me to fuck motivation :p
     
    KaiserKhan786, Mar 4, 2015
    KaiserKhan786, Mar 4, 2015
    #15
  16. Mar 4, 2015 #16
    Steel Fury

    Steel Fury Fapstronaut

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    Steel Fury, Mar 4, 2015
    Steel Fury, Mar 4, 2015
    #16
  17. Mar 5, 2015 #17
    maximo229

    maximo229 Fapstronaut

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    Thanks, this really helped :)
     
    maximo229, Mar 5, 2015
    maximo229, Mar 5, 2015
    #17
  18. Mar 5, 2015 #18
    jasonbourne13

    jasonbourne13 Fapstronaut

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    Great stuff thanks for sharing… DISCIPLINE!!!
     
    jasonbourne13, Mar 5, 2015
    jasonbourne13, Mar 5, 2015
    #18
  19. Mar 5, 2015 #19
    The Eleven

    The Eleven Fapstronaut

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    This. You have to be down with the journey, not just the destination.
     
    The Eleven, Mar 5, 2015
    The Eleven, Mar 5, 2015
    #19
  20. Mar 5, 2015 #20
    sirfapstinence

    sirfapstinence Fapstronaut

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    Very insightful. Thanks
     
    sirfapstinence, Mar 5, 2015
    sirfapstinence, Mar 5, 2015
    #20
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