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Just turned 50 and it's time...

Discussion in 'New to NoFap' started by Gr8Ful, Mar 27, 2019.

  1. Gr8Ful

    Gr8Ful Fapstronaut

    - to be "true to myself" - which means being truthful/honest with myself
    - to admit that while my life is awesome, it can be so much better
    - to focus on improving myself first, knowing that this will affect all other areas of my life
    - to realize that others deal with the same issue/addiction and that I don't have to go it alone
    - become a better husband, better father, better son, better brother, better friend, more successful businessman - A BETTER MAN

    I am GRATEFUL for my blessings (hence the handle Gr8ful), but have so much to give, so much I can become. I just need to stop wasting time, using PMO as an escape from work/difficult tasks and finding genuine excitement in my goals and in my life.

    Outwardly (to other people) I am successful, well-adjusted, a great father/husband, etc....A good guy. Inwardly (in truth) I have been addicted in varying degrees to porn for over 30 years. Somehow, I am the only one who knows, but the opportunity cost (wasted time, lack of real emotional/physical connection to wife, lower desire because I'm satisfied, etc...) is real. Ultimately, I want to improve in every area of my life and have done a good job - but it's time to look in the mirror and face the biggest demon.

    I am Gr8ful in advance for this forum and those going through a similar experience/journey.
     
  2. Rubzi

    Rubzi Fapstronaut

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    Hey man!

    We all have our big demons to face, you are not alone in this fight!
    And we all CAN change so long as we believe in ourself that we can.
    Taking it day by day, you will feel the brainfog lift up more and more and wonder why you ever wasted so much of your time into this.

    I have the same feelings of showing the outside world that i'm a good guy, good boyfriend, uncle and all... But inwards you really just despise yourself and feel corrupted for what you've been doing for so long, i get that. Let's fight the urges and change that my friend!

    If you ever feel like you need someone to talk to, just give a PM.

    Best of luck to you!
     
    Last edited: Mar 27, 2019
    Gr8Ful likes this.
  3. kropo82

    kropo82 Fapstronaut

    Brilliant opening post. I joined just after I turned 51 and it would be impossible to overestimate how important this site has been for me. Good luck, you are in the right place.
     
    Gr8Ful likes this.
  4. Sad_but_true

    Sad_but_true Fapstronaut

    Hello @Gr8Ful and welcome to nofap your in the right place and its time to get honest. How great is your life with your pmo addiction? Speaking from personal experience I was in denial about the severity of my addictions until my wife left last year. And then it was time for me to get honest and to do something about it. Im sharing this with you because I don't want the same for you, and it doesnt have to be. But it can be if you don't make some changes in your life. It sounds like you have some blessings in your life and you have some gratitude, but your pmo behavior is selfish and can lead to intimacy problems if it hasn't already. Spend some time on here and learn about pmo and porn addiction start a journal on your progress, and read others' journals so you can start to figure out how you can have a better life. It is possible and your right that life can be so much better when youre not engaging in pmo behavior. Your wife will certainly appreciate the extra attention and your self esteem will improve. Im not saying everything went back to what it was for me, I still got the divorce but im not slave to pmo anymore and I have a healthy relationship with a new girlfriend now. Im not trying to preach I just want to save you a little pain if possible, I have faith in your journey to a better lifestyle...
     
  5. Welcome to the community. You have good motivation to beat this thing. Read, learn and start making your plan.
     
  6. Gr8Ful

    Gr8Ful Fapstronaut

    Thanks! Does a journal have to be officially coded as such...or can this thread serve as mine? To speak to your questions...my life is actually really great, but can be even better. I'm probably a bit lucky in that I married well in terms of shared values...but you are also correct in that PMO has hurt our intimacy. So, I feel there is still time and opportunity to change for the better. We have still have activity and chaos while we are raising kids - but I want to have a connection beyond our children for those years when they are off living their own lives.
     
  7. Gr8Ful

    Gr8Ful Fapstronaut

    I just realized you may not have seen my entry on the over 40 boards. This will serve as my "journal" I thinkhttps://www.nofap.com/forum/index.p...st-shackle-to-my-personal-development.222808/
     
    kropo82 likes this.
  8. Sad_but_true

    Sad_but_true Fapstronaut

    @Gr8Ful when you want to send me an alert that you posted something for me use the "@" followed by my screenname and I'll get the notification. whereever you post your journal you should have a link to it on your nofap profile so people can quickly and easily find it by looking at your profile. I hope your life remains great!, mine did not. I needed to do some inside work as they say in more ways than one, but my quality of life is improving and so can yours, even if your starting point is not bad. Dont wait till it is, do the work and the research and live a better life, best of luck to you...
     
    Gr8Ful likes this.
  9. Winner2019

    Winner2019 New Fapstronaut

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  10. Winner2019

    Winner2019 New Fapstronaut

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    I am exactly in same situation, same age, 30 years into PMO, very successful, very good husband and father... However I could be much better, started one day ago :) Good luck ... We will do it !
     
    Rubzi likes this.
  11. Welcome to the community.
     
  12. march2019

    march2019 Fapstronaut

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    Welcome to the battle we all face. You have support here.
     
  13. Gr8Ful

    Gr8Ful Fapstronaut

    Cool. We got this!!
     
  14. raikeia

    raikeia Fapstronaut

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    Welcome Gr8Ful!
    I identify with the feeling being one thing but being seen as something different to others. The disparity catches up to you. it's great that you gained the awareness.
    For you the road away from PMO has a reason: your desire to be a better man. You'll find a sense of true liberation from something that so occupied your mind. You'll have more time to do those things that alway came second to porn and your mind will be clearer.
    The 'better' that you will become will change you in so may ways.

    Cheers


     
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