Losing interest in fiance' after stopping PMO

How do you know you are losing interest in her, since you haven’t even seen her? That doesn’t make sense to me. Now if you were spending time with her and then wondering why you are even doing that it might make sense. If you are not having sex, what does libido have to do with it anyway. If she is to be your partner, your friend for life, there is much more to it than sex. She must be your confidant, your best friend, your greatest love, and the person that knows you best. I wouldn’t even consider having plans to be married until you are committed to recovery, and have plenty of sobriety under your belt (let’s say a year). You owe her that respect, and you owe it to the better person you could be to see it that way. Believe me you don’t want to put your spouse, the one who you honor and cherish above all others, through the pain of betrayal trauma, doubting her own worth, beauty, and value. Let alone wondering when you will betray her again, how it will happen, who it was with, and if she could measure up to them, as if they even compared to her to begin with. Questioning everything, and being suspicious of everyone, when you are the actual problem, or at least your addiction is. She won’t just get over it.

 

Listen to this! Betrayal trauma is no joke. It ruins lives.