Just had anxiety attack, I need advice

I've just had panic attack after experiencing severe general anxiety for hours. My heart started racing and my pressure in head skyrocketed. I started to sweat and shake uncontrollably. My vision became distorted and I couldn't think clearly. It felt like fog has covered my mind, if that makes any sense. I managed to calm down with deep breathing 5s inhale, 5s hold, 5s exhale. I was very close to relapsing, just to calm f... down.

The point I'm trying to make is that I've entered prolonged general anxiety state in last few weeks of hardmode. I'm so anxious that nearly everything derails me. I can't have live conversation with friend without holding my breath, body tension building up, hands shaking… Described panic attack was caused by a phone call from a neighbor telling me about potential job offer. Really nothing to freak about, maybe even positive news, but it totally freaked up mentally.

I came across this article https://www.psycom.net/when-panic-attacks-how-to-stop ( here I read how to calm down), saying that "a person with obsessive-compulsive disorder may experience a panic attack when their schedule or compulsions are interrupted and for someone with generalized anxiety disorder (GAD), a condition characterized by extreme fear or worry, the unending anxiety can escalate to a panic attack." PMO is compulsive behavior disorder and I'm very anxious person by nature, but not so much. Is that what is meant when they say that underlying unresolved psych issues resurface in "hardmode"? I'd normally resolve such tension with going for a run, but I couldn't do it because of injured leg. I thought "hardmode" would give me more self-esteem, but the opposite just happened, my ego is shattered, even worse than 3 months ago. F... this is brutal.

Did you experience anything similar during your recovery and if so how did you cope with it? ​

 

Thanks man for sharing. I can relate to the symptoms very much. It's overwhelming anxiety, existential "angst" of all life anxieties about bad future prospects culminating in one moment. I really need to do something about it or I'll be back in static binge no future PMO rabbit hole in no time. I f... up so many things in life by not actively addressing them. It horrifies me. That's why I've craved for numbing "I don't give a f... attitude" binge PMO has given me. It really was a drug to numb the pain. It's easy to read about it, but you don't truly understand it, until you experience it.

 

Thanks, I've written in on a piece of paper to have it at hand when/if anxiety attack strikes again. I'll return to Yoga classes ASAP to practice meditation, I need them more then ever. As for the alcohol, it does calm me down, but I don't want to drink it. People become addicted by self-medicating with alcohol.

 

Thank you ForeverStronger. Deep breathing helped me calm down. I'll try to practice 4-7-8 breathing technique.

 

This forum and all good people on this site is really a godsend to me. I'd never be able to fight this battle alone. You can't talk about these things with people who don't even know that problem of PMO exist. Part of my existential fears is related to my family. I lost my both of my grandparents and my father in last decade. I'm the only child so only relative I have is my mother now. I understand dying is a part of life and I accept it, but I'm really afraid of being alone in this world. I can't explain it why, because I've always been quite introverted person, but somehow thought of having no one close to me terrifies me. I'm not afraid of my own death, but I'm terrified my prospect of living all alone.

 

Thank you for recommendation, I'll look into it. I'm aware that social interactions are crucial to our wellbeing. I just can't force myself to me more social. I know I should be, but even making a phone call has become stressful for some reason. I do force myself to go out with few friends I still have, but I can't really "connect" with them anymore. Abstention, as painful as it is, has uncovered my problems and is forcing me to think and start working on them.

Thanks man for good wishes. I'm not on meds. The only thing that really helps me immediately with anxiety is Helex (alprazolam) but doctors say this drug should be taken only when one gets panic attack because it's highly addictive (benzos) and you need to up your dosage to continue to work if you take it continuously. It really helps me big time, but I prefer not to take it, because I0m afraid I could easily become addicted to it. It's the best thing I have ever tried to elevate anxiety, including alcohol and drugs. I can easily see taking it every day, that's why I'm scared of it. I had a few sessions with psych long time ago, but really didn't "connect" with her. She said I clearly suffer from some deeply buried disorder, but that she can't find diagnose for me and doesn't really know how to help me without years of talk therapy (not covered by insurance). She offered me SSRIs and some antipsychotics (saying that it will help with my compulsiveness but make me a little sick as a side effect). I refused the drugs and that was it. I read that SSRI work only 40 % of the time Vs. placebo working 30 % of the time and can have some serious side effects so I choose to do exercise, vitamin D3 and Omega 3 fatty acids instead. It's not a magic pill but it helps a bit if I'm disciplined enough to do it on daily basis (which I'm often not). I'd love to do CBT therapy, but I can't afford it. Insurance only covers one session every 14 days and I can't afford to pay for private sessions right now.

I understand you. I don't know if we fear loneliness because of some deep childhood trauma. I'd say it's normal human condition not wanting to live lonely life. We're social beings and thought of having no one left to share your fears and happiness with is terrifying for most of us, I believe. Death of your parents is probably easier to accept, if you have your own family. Sure we have friends, but I can't imagine sharing my deepest fears with them.