I need help with fetish

DestinedToBe · Mar 27, 2019

Hey guys,i currently have a foot fetish,(SKIP TO THE EMOJI TO AVOID READING TRIGGERS)

i love kissing women's feet, being dominated, being used as a footstool and love to be sat on, and many other femdom related stuff,

➕ ➕
i hate all of this stuff and i want them to go away, i want the normal thing
ive been on no PMO for 64 days now, although ive been trying to search about my fetishes to sneakly read about some people explaining their nice experiences, but i dont consider this as a relapse, i also want to stop fantasizing , any help here?
im 21 btw and i have the foot fetish since i was 12 or something

P.S. No offense to anyone who's comfortable with his fetish/desires.. I just dont like it for me☺️

Deleted Account · Mar 27, 2019

Welcome to the community. Don't "sneaky" read, it is helping to keep your mind latched onto these things. You need to find something else to hold your thoughts, something challenging, something you enjoy, something that really engages your brain. When you are having urges, turn to that new thing at least until the urges pass.

DestinedToBe · Mar 29, 2019

Freddiefox said: ↑

Welcome to the community. Don't "sneaky" read, it is helping to keep your mind latched onto these things. You need to find something else to hold your thoughts, something challenging, something you enjoy, something that really engages your brain. When you are having urges, turn to that new thing at least until the urges pass.
Click to expand...

I understand what you mean... It really does latch.. Ill try and stop it for good.. I struggle tho to understand what it should really be... Should i have the same desires or might they change... Since im also a Christian, i ask myself whether this is what jesus wants me to be?or is it possible that i can have the same desires and still live with jesus.

Deleted Account · Mar 29, 2019

Things might change for you as far as what you are in to, time and work and patience. With time staying away from porn it will give you brain to to settle onto what is natural for you.

DestinedToBe · Mar 29, 2019

Freddiefox said: ↑

Things might change for you as far as what you are in to, time and work and patience. With time staying away from porn it will give you brain to to settle onto what is natural for you.
Click to expand...

Of course i admit that not watching porn for more than 2 months.... After being an abusive user of it for like 10 years years lifts a huge weight of your shoulders
But now porn aint my real issue here.For example... Just a few days ago i was searching if there was a way to get rid of fetishes.. And there was this link that said "i want to cure my foot fetish" and i opened it in another tab along with the others... But when i got to it i found its pornhub and it was a video that suits me well.. Once i saw that it wasnt what i thought it was... I immediately closed the tab(Not what i'd usually do.. I would have probably relapsed) ... So porn is not that much of an issue anymore.
My problem is that now im starting to question my desires itself.. What i would want to do with my woman, should i really be at a slave position! Or just be a bit nore normal.

CPT Shadow · Mar 29, 2019

minimize.rf said: ↑

I understand what you mean... It really does latch.. Ill try and stop it for good.. I struggle tho to understand what it should really be... Should i have the same desires or might they change... Since im also a Christian, i ask myself whether this is what jesus wants me to be?or is it possible that i can have the same desires and still live with jesus.
Click to expand...

God's love is unconditional, which means that he won't withdraw his presence and love as long as you invite him to be a part of your life. It sounds like you're feeling pretty guilty about your desires, but I don't think you have anything to feel guilty about. I agree with the advice on not looking things up on the internet about your fetish, you're just exacerbating it. It's like picking at a scab; it is just going to keep bleeding, will take longer to heal, and will leave a worse scar.

For the sake of argument, if things didn't change, could you learn to live with yourself? Self acceptance and self love are important foundations for confidence and success. What makes you uncomfortable about your desires? Is it the perception of others? Did you have a bad experience that caused you pain related to this? Getting at the root of your bad feelings here might be helpful to shine some light on the feelings you have under the surface about these issues and allow you to confront those and learn more about yourself and how to move forward.

minimize.rf said: ↑

Of course i admit that not watching porn for more than 2 months.... After being an abusive user of it for like 10 years years lifts a huge weight of your shoulders
Click to expand...

I'm glad you're feeling a weight off your shoulders! Keep up the great work on stopping PMO and focus on other things like some of the other people have said on here.

DestinedToBe · Mar 29, 2019

CPT Shadow said: ↑

God's love is unconditional, which means that he won't withdraw his presence and love as long as you invite him to be a part of your life. It sounds like you're feeling pretty guilty about your desires, but I don't think you have anything to feel guilty about. I agree with the advice on not looking things up on the internet about your fetish, you're just exacerbating it. It's like picking at a scab; it is just going to keep bleeding, will take longer to heal, and will leave a worse scar.

For the sake of argument, if things didn't change, could you learn to live with yourself? Self acceptance and self love are important foundations for confidence and success. What makes you uncomfortable about your desires? Is it the perception of others? Did you have a bad experience that caused you pain related to this? Getting at the root of your bad feelings here might be helpful to shine some light on the feelings you have under the surface about these issues and allow you to confront those and learn more about yourself and how to move forward.

I'm glad you're feeling a weight off your shoulders! Keep up the great work on stopping PMO and focus on other things like some of the other people have said on here.
Click to expand...

I've been very guilty about it since i actually realized it... At age 14 i guess.. I just dont like it.. The idea of being humiliated to provide myself pleasure... I always think about when i do get married... How my relationship with wife is gonna be... Is it gonna be a husband/wife relationship or a domme/slave relationship.. I feel that this would just make me more lusting (even if it is in marriage) i just feel that this wont be marriage through Jesus but through sex, which is not what i think is the pefect situation.
Even if it is ok religiously.. I doubt my woman would love to have me as a footstool while watching T.V. rather than hugging me!
And someone once told me "Its degrading to yourself and your Christianity, its ok to have a foot fetish but not the love of humiliation", i actually kinda believe this statement right here‍♂️
(Again no offense to anyone, i just talk about what i think of myself)

Yeah, thank you, i hope everyone does the same... It really makes your mind feel more peace.

George2019 · Jul 26, 2019

DestinedToBe said: ↑

I've been very guilty about it since i actually realized it... At age 14 i guess.. I just dont like it.. The idea of being humiliated to provide myself pleasure... I always think about when i do get married... How my relationship with wife is gonna be... Is it gonna be a husband/wife relationship or a domme/slave relationship.. I feel that this would just make me more lusting (even if it is in marriage) i just feel that this wont be marriage through Jesus but through sex, which is not what i think is the pefect situation.
Even if it is ok religiously.. I doubt my woman would love to have me as a footstool while watching T.V. rather than hugging me!
And someone once told me "Its degrading to yourself and your Christianity, its ok to have a foot fetish but not the love of humiliation", i actually kinda believe this statement right here‍♂️
(Again no offense to anyone, i just talk about what i think of myself)

Yeah, thank you, i hope everyone does the same... It really makes your mind feel more peace.
Click to expand...

George2019 · Jul 26, 2019

Hi, I am a 40 + married christian. Hear your struggle. How are you getting on now? Are you feeling comfortable with your fetish.. And did you make the 90 days? My goal is 1 September at this stage about 40 days

Deleted Account · Jul 26, 2019

Brother, don't forget, you owe to no one. Inclination towards female domination can be due to several reasons. For example, porn videos which support Femdom, or personal reasons such as low self esteem and low self respect. You might like humiliation because of the kind of porn you've been watching or due to personal reasons again(Issues in family, or being trash talked all the time). I suggest, do stuff that boosts your confidence. Eg- gym, any sport, read books, gain more knowledge about a subject. Simply anything that makes you feel better than others. I believe everyone has a dominant character and submissive character, both of them reside within you like two wolfs. The one you feed, becomes stronger. These are fetishes. I hate it when people say "I think its just the way I am". Come on bro this isn't your eye color. You decide what you wanna be. Fetishes come and go. You decide what to keep with yourself and what to implement in your life.

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