I’m at 5 weeks today!!

davidx · Mar 31, 2019

I just want to share that I am at 5 weeks today- last night was very difficult- I woke up touching myself 3-4 times. WTF!? I can’t even trust myself when I’m sleeping!?

Anyway, I really hope to make 90 days no PM and only O if me and my wife ever have sex again. (Won’t go into details but my marriage isn’t all that great)

This is the first time in my life after pretty much a 37 year PMO addiction (with a few exceptions over the years) that I understand this is an addiction and I understand the chemical impact of PMO on my brain / body. I truly want to quit porn forever as I think it is a “TOXIC SOUL POiSON” as I’ve stated in another post elsewhere. Porn has never done one good thing for me. Just screwed up my mind and relationships and brought, guilt, depression, embarrassment, anxiety, etc. etc. left me isolated socially and in relationships, etc. none of this is good for anyone. Porn is evil in so many ways.

Anyway, after a lifetime of this I truly hope I can reboot for the sake of my marriage/ family. I have a lot of other areas to improve in my life but I realize hiding in my PMO addiction and missing out on too many things in my life and too many opportunities is a bad place for me to be.

I have a lot of faith in God and I know that finding this site and your brain on porn was no accident (at least not for me).

Anyway, 5 weeks isn’t PMO free for the rest of my life yet but it’s a start and I really appreciate everyone on the forum sharing great advice, offering help to everyone and allowing everyone to be honest about their struggles and fears, guilt, etc. it helps a lot to be able to get things off your chest and not get beat up about it. It also helps to be challenged sometimes too.

Below is an excellent video on the chemical reactions of PMO - it’s not just the dopamine it’s a lot of chemical reactions that really make this so addicting not to mention the mental and emotional aspects.

Check out this video on YouTube:

Deleted Account · Mar 31, 2019

davidx said: ↑

I just want to share that I am at 5 weeks today- last night was very difficult- I woke up touching myself 3-4 times. WTF!? I can’t even trust myself when I’m sleeping!?

Anyway, I really hope to make 90 days no PM and only O if me and my wife ever have sex again. (Won’t go into details but my marriage isn’t all that great)

This is the first time in my life after pretty much a 37 year PMO addiction (with a few exceptions over the years) that I understand this is an addiction and I understand the chemical impact of PMO on my brain / body. I truly want to quit porn forever as I think it is a “TOXIC SOUL POiSON” as I’ve stated in another post elsewhere. Porn has never done one good thing for me. Just screwed up my mind and relationships and brought, guilt, depression, embarrassment, anxiety, etc. etc. left me isolated socially and in relationships, etc. none of this is good for anyone. Porn is evil in so many ways.

Anyway, after a lifetime of this I truly hope I can reboot for the sake of my marriage/ family. I have a lot of other areas to improve in my life but I realize hiding in my PMO addiction and missing out on too many things in my life and too many opportunities is a bad place for me to be.

I have a lot of faith in God and I know that finding this site and your brain on porn was no accident (at least not for me).

Anyway, 5 weeks isn’t PMO free for the rest of my life yet but it’s a start and I really appreciate everyone on the forum sharing great advice, offering help to everyone and allowing everyone to be honest about their struggles and fears, guilt, etc. it helps a lot to be able to get things off your chest and not get beat up about it. It also helps to be challenged sometimes too.

Below is an excellent video on the chemical reactions of PMO - it’s not just the dopamine it’s a lot of chemical reactions that really make this so addicting not to mention the mental and emotional aspects.

Check out this video on YouTube:

Click to expand...

Sounds like you are building some great skills, so well done to you! Have faith in your ability to change.
As for the night-time, I find that if I fall asleep in my jeans, I pretty much can't unconsciously grab myself. So, PJs with a decent drawstring?
Cheers for sharing your progress so far.

Deleted Account · Mar 31, 2019

I'm always glad when I see people like myself putting everything into this.
For me I have come to understand this is the battle of my life. I had so much potential when I was a kid and I have disappointed everyone, I guess they don't know the leech sucking my life gradually every year.
Fighting this addiction requires reminding yourself of all the mess this has got you into and the place you want to go daily.

It won't be easy but we can push on, it not by our strength alone but with the help of God

Deleted Account · Mar 31, 2019

davidx - I'm right with you. Based on your 37-year addiction, we are probably about the same age, and as of today, I'm 4.5 weeks (31 days) free from PMO. I've got a few issues with the wife that I hope to resolve as I get deeper into my recovery. All the best.

SuperiorMan95 · Apr 4, 2019

SirErnest said: ↑

Sounds like you are building some great skills, so well done to you! Have faith in your ability to change.
As for the night-time, I find that if I fall asleep in my jeans, I pretty much can't unconsciously grab myself. So, PJs with a decent drawstring?
Cheers for sharing your progress so far.
Click to expand...

Yeah or another thing is to print out a file with reminders about porn addiction as well as negative effects of PMO and just kepe that paper under your pillow reading it every night before bed.

bluered · Apr 4, 2019

all the best with ur efforts bro.. Keep it up!!

Deleted Account · Apr 4, 2019

SuperiorMan95 said: ↑

Yeah or another thing is to print out a file with reminders about porn addiction as well as negative effects of PMO and just kepe that paper under your pillow reading it every night before bed.
Click to expand...

Might work. I've heard that what we put in our head before sleep can influence us at night, so I tend to read or watch a documentary.

control your life · Apr 5, 2019

Congrats on 5 weeks pal...keep it strong

Roffelaar · Apr 5, 2019

Nice streak Stay hard

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