I Need Support.

PMO is definately not the place to go with your sorrow. Can you drive to Church for some quite time before the Tabernacle? Or go outside, walk - feel the air etc? I've just sent you a pm - I'm so sorry

 

OMG! man. I am sorry for your loss. What a tragedy. I'm sorry I can't think of more to say.

 

Oh my. Sorry to hear about this. Just know we support you and are thinking about you tonight.

 

My heart is with you, I have had a friend end his life. He left a note compiled of all kinds of note he had received to help him, only he took simple statements and reversed what what said. This was when I was 18 and I had let it really effect me.
After all these years I will say keep yourself rooted. If you have faith, grab on to this faith and let it lead you. Don't let his death make a second wrong. Be strong for yourself and for him. Keep him in your heart and remember the good he did and had in his life.

May God and our Savior be with you and his Family Keep peace in your heart.

 

Hey Squeaky, this happened with a friend of mine too when I was in high school. He survived, but I know somewhat the pain it is to have someone close to you do that to themselves. You feel so hopeless, your day gets so black. But PMO is not the place to turn, brother. God's the only place you can find comfort now, among your family and friends. Don't give into PMO, that would only be succumbing to the same hopelessness that took your friend. God bless you, you and your family will be in my prayers.

 

I've never lost a friend to suicide, but I have handled deep and dark depressions. Here is my advice - embrace the feelings, accept them and know that they are temporary. It's an unfortunate aspect of life, but sometimes we just have to feel bad. It's part of being human.

The good news, is that it these times of feeling bad that allow us to appreciate when we feel good. And you will feel good again later. Now, however, it is time for you to feel bad.

Know that while you accept your feelings, you do not have to listen to the thoughts they try to whisper to you. Your feelings will lie to you and tell you that it is unbearable, and that you must escape them with porn. This is a lie - you are not your feelings, they are your possesions. Accept them with an open heart, just as you would accept a rose from a friend with an open hand. Don't fight them, or try to hold on to them too tightly - just as doing so with a rose will harm your hand, so will fighting and holding on to the feelings harm your mental well being.

As an introvert, when I am feeling depressed, I like to find somewhere I can be alone and listen to music that matches my dark mood. This allows me to feel that I am not alone in my feelings (Linkin Park is usually my goto choice), and it allows me to experience them in the moment without having to think about them. I tell myself that I will feel better later, as I always do.

I always feel better later...sometimes even sooner.

 

So sorry to hear about your friend Squeaky. My prayers are with you.

 

Dear Squeaky Soul,

I empathise with your pain after your friend chose to end his life. Evidently, he was overwhelmed with his pain and finally decided there was only one way to find relief from it. In your journal you had already mentioned his plight and your wish to support him. However, in order to go through with suicide, some will push away even offers of help they know to be genuine because they believe that their situation or their problems are insoluble.

Understandably, you are in shock and grief. So, allow the feelings of grief to come. When Jesus came to where his friend Lazarus had died, "Jesus cried" - John 11:35 (NCV). Why? Because the Lord, in human form, allowed his grief to express itself naturally. If you cry (or even if you don't cry), do what comes naturally. If you feel numb or angry, allow those emotions to come. There is no 'right way' to react in such circumstances. Just shrug off self-conscientiousness and be yourself.

However, from God's inspired word, the bible, it is possible to slowly gather your thoughts. In Paul's first letter to the congregation in Thessalonica he said: "Now, brothers, we want you to know the truth about those who have died; otherwise, you might become sad the way other people do who have nothing to hope for." 1 Thessalonians 4:13 (CJB) So read, reflect and pray on the Holy Scriptures that you might "know the truth" about your friend that died. In so doing, you won't feel as sad as those who have no hope.

His family, you and yours are in my prayers.

IGY

 

Yes, you absolutely were his friend. There is a phrase (used by the coroner at an inquest), that was common years ago. It seems to have gone out of vogue, but I believe it still holds true"---- took his life while the balance of his mind was disturbed."

What this really means is that your friend - the 'real .... [him]' - was not the person that sent those messages. His depression (perhaps even his delusion) was such, that it masked his true self. The expressions he made were textual cries of agony.

Squeaky Soul, just think when you have been in the worst physical pain you have ever experienced. Can you remember anything you said during that time? It is doubtful, because severe pain distorts clear judgement. How much more so is that the case, when it is mental anguish?

Let me tell you from experience of severe physical and mental pain, that mental agony is much worse than the worst physical pain you can experience. I nearly died from self inflicted wounds some years ago. In fact, police officers informed my mum that I had died! Two hours later, they returned to advise her that I had survived and was in intensive care). I left a suicide note (for her and others). I thought my note(s) explained everything. But my mum said it explained nothing. How come? Because, when I attempted suicide, "the balance of my mind was disturbed". What I convinced myself was logical, made no sense whatsoever.

It is OK to feel angry, or any other emotion, in respect of the friend you have loved and lost. I hope that you might come back to this thread when you are ready, and reflect on the fact that he was "out of his mind" or "off his head". Of course, those are phrases we use regarding substance (incl. alcohol) abuse. Why? Because they refer to mind-altering substances. I assure you, intense emotional distress (especially when sustained over a period of months) is also mind-altering.

Yes brother, you were a friend to him - the best! Please remain his friend, even in his death.

 

I just found the thread. I'm very sorry to hear about this. Thinking about you today. It's so sad.

 

As someone who has experienced mental health problems, sometimes when experiencing the darkness, only appropriate mental health care will resolve my own well-being. No matter what other people did. If consumed by the darkness, no help other than mental health care could have been my remedy. My darkness took me away from my friends and those trying to help.

Wishing you well.

 

So sorry to hear about this, Squeaky Soul.

Know that depression pulls sufferers away from the love of family and friends. The mind becomes sick just like the body can, and it isn't anybody's fault. There are a whole lot of helpers in the world who would love to be able to predict who would take drastic measures, but so far, even the best minds are not anywhere near 100% on that. So don't let guilt take hold. Grieve and spend time close to loved ones in real space.

Best wishes.

 

Yes, you were still a friend to him. Although he told you he didn't want to talk to you anymore I'm sure he saw your genuine spirit. Depression is a state of mind in which we feel like we are alone in this world with nowhere to turn. You did your best, and that makes you look like one helluva friend to me.

You and his family are in my prayers,
Ace