Learnings from 150 days

I would like to just offer the main benefits and experiences I have observed in the last 150 days of quitting PMO.

The most salient benefit I have experienced is a massive reduction in my Social anxiety. I used to get a tightness in my chest when talking to new people and struggled to be open and relaxed. I started a new job last week and I have had to interact with 30+ new people. I'm shocked at how effortless it has been.

Awkwardness around women is gone - I feel the same when interacting with both men and women.

Over the last 60 or so days ive come to realise that most of the problems in my personal relationships is due to my own narcissism. I've been making a lot more effort with freinds and family to make sure they are happy. My family has noticed a big change in my maturity and they enjoy being around me a lot more than any other time in the last 15+ years. (I am 29). I am not sure whether my reduction in narcissism is due to masterbation being a very narcissistic behaviour or the chemicals in my brain rebalancing which has increased my ability to empathise.

My voice is a lot deeper now. Ive always had an above average pitch height to my voice. Now I surprise myself sometimes by how low and strong my voice is. Its funny sometimes I am talking to another guy and his voice will crack slightly because he is trying to get the same depth. People naturally respect you more if your voice is deep.

Being more social. When your brain cant get instant gratification from porn it seeks other ways to feel good. If you sit in your house and quit porn for 300 days you wont necessarily feel more social. You need to give your brain the opportunity to relearn that social interactions release dopamine. Over the last month or so I have given my brain the opportunity to realise this and now I seek social interactions in a healthy and positive way. I know that by making other people feel good I will also feel good.

Energy levels. I can get 8 hours sleep and work a mentally challenging job all day and still have a consistent level of energy until I go to sleep.

I dont enjoy long winded emotional threads. I feel like this is just the beginning of a new phase in my life and I am sure my emotions and thinking will continue to change over the next 6 months and longer. I dont think I will ever go back to porn because the benefits massively outweigh the short term release. I am not in a relationship but I have started to appreciate womens personalities a lot more these days and I feel confident that there are a lot of girls that are attracted to me. I am above average looking and my main stumbling block in the past with girls has been my own narcissism.

If anyone has questions or would like to give advice or is seeking advice id love to hear from you.

 

Ive done a 90 day streak and this 150 day streak. On the first 90 day streak the first week was definitely the hardest. On this streak I have certain days where I am very horny and I have edged without porn or I have had moments of weakness where I am sad or lonely and think about watching porn but there hasnt really been a week that stands out as being difficult. When I am horny I have a cold shower and it helps a lot. I have been taking cold showers every day for over a year so that could have helped with every day hornyness.

 

I think there are two reasons.
Firstly I think I have a lower sex drive than most people which means there hasnt been many times where Ive been super horny.
Secondly I have a habit of choosing long term benefits over short term gratification. For example ive been eating lots of fruit and vegetables everyday for the past 8 years and very rarely eating anything unhealthy. I read in a book once that if you want to quit something you have to fully understand that the positives of abstaining from the behaviour outweigh the positives of conducting the behaviour. You have to change your relationship with the behaviour instead of simply deciding "I'm not going to do this'. Gary Wilsons ted talk on porn is a good way of starting to comprehend the negatives of porn, and also just thinking about what it is objectively. This can help you realise on a deeper level that the positives for abstaining are greater.

 

I did have PIED with the last three girls I had sex with before quitting porn. I haven't had sex in the last 150 days so I don't know what my erections will be like when trying to have sex but I do wake up with strong erections.

 

I realized/admitted to myself that I had narcissistic tendencies around 3 months ago. It hasn't taken much effort for me to stop being narcissistic; it feels like quite a natural change. We can theorize why nofap reduces narcissism but the answer is kind of irrelevant since its not necessary to understand why nofap reduces narcissism in order for it to do so. If you are concerned about being narcissistic and you want to change I'd suggest doing a long streak whilst being aware of how you view and treat others. One thing though, don't replace nofap with some other indulgent behavior.