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Fuck life.

Discussion in 'Rebooting - Porn Addiction Recovery' started by Pyramid, Mar 8, 2015.

  1. Pyramid

    Pyramid Fapstronaut

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    Texting.
    Facebook.
    Twitter.
    Naked people on tv.
    Super bowl.
    Drama.
    Fast cars.
    Booze.
    Sex.
    Fucking.
    Masturbation.
    Haircuts.
    Makeup.
    Eyeliner.
    Fakeness.
    Tanning.
    Skinny jeans.
    Diet.
    More texts.
    More drama.
    Politics.
    Republicans.
    Democrats.
    Fighting.
    Arguing.
    Super high highs.
    Super low lows.

    I'm fucking sick of the society I live in. This is all that it is. A bunch of uneducated, unenlightened fucks who place importance on the menial things. People failing to look through all of the drama and phony personas. I hate my generation.

    I hate people. As much as I come off as sweet and endearing and loving, this is how I truly feel. With just a few exceptions, I hate most people. I joined NoFap and have found a lot of people with similar goals and seeming enlightenment. A group of people searching for more to life than this stupid shit.

    Let me tell you a little bit about myself. I used to be a big playboy. I used to get girls naked 3 or 4 times a week. I used to play with their emotions. I got them to fly planes from across the U.S. to come out and see me and fuck me for a weekend and then tell them I loved them. I used to not give a shit about feelings.

    Deep down, I was depressed. I looked like I had it all. I fucking had nothing. Being in med school and fighting porn addiction and a sibling with terminal cancer and my best friend driving off a cliff has left me exhausted, trembling, and exposed. I don't want any of this shit anymore. I don't want a girlfriend ever again. I don't want sex. I don't want I don't even want to participate in this world anymore.

    I'm at this point in my life where I am at both full motivation and full apathy. I just wish other people understood me. The last time I told someone these things, they didn't even bother to ask about my fucking feelings. They just asked the same fucking questions that all people asked, "Are you planning on harming yourself?"

    No, idiot.

    I'm so far beyond that point that it would require someone of equal introspection just to begin to understand where I am. Am I alone in these feelings? Am I the only one who wants to see such massive change in the world, and who feels so insignificant despite that he does? I study every day, I sleep well, I'm a good son, I've exercised 6-7 times a week for about 15 years, I eat healthy, people like me... and yet, I feel so separated.

    I want to motivate other people. I almost want to run for office after med school. I want people to join me on this journey. But they continue to text and go on Facebook and waste their fucking lives. And here I am. Alone. Hopeless. Fucking sick of this shit.

    Here I go again. Time to study and do the same fucking thing I've always been doing. Just so that I can be underappreciated and seen for my superficial value and utility to the person trying to get something out of me.

    Fuck life. It's a piece of shit.
     
  2. Are you a spiritual person, Pyramid? Because what you are describing, a general malaise or ennui, often arises when we feel we don't have a purpose in life. Religion or spirituality can give you that purpose. What are you living life for? For yourself? For God? For enlightenment? For a revolution in our society's values?

    Find your purpose and you will find yourself.
     
  3. Monster Carrot

    Monster Carrot Fapstronaut

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    Wow this post is real. I don't like thinking about the stuff you mentioned but I agree with a lot of it. I don't have more than a couple friends in real life because I honestly can't stand young people these days. I feel like this world is going to end soon because people are so useless, and it would be fine with me. But I try to stay positive and focus on me and what is going on in my tiny life, the stuff I can control and improve.

    Why are you in med school? I thought about going that route a few years ago because I wanted a job that somewhat mattered, e.g. helping sick people and stuff. It seems like it will be fulfilling if that's your reason for being in it. If you are questioning your career choice my advice is to consider it hard right now rather than later, because I guarantee it will not be worth it to finish school and continue your training if you don't really want to.

    Something that might help to think about is: there are definitely good people and good things happening in the world. The problem is, they don't show themselves through the outlets we see most of the time, like FB, television, politics, people on the streets, etc. I can't tell you where, but I know it exists. Just have faith in that and fight for that in your career.
     
  4. seventyniner

    seventyniner Fapstronaut

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    Boy, I know that feeling when you think the whole world is going down the drain because people are wasting their entire life on basically nothing. The next car. More horsepower. More sex. Casting shows. Sometimes I have to force myself to stop thinking about it or I will literally go crazy.

    A positive outlet for me has been helping other people. Helping just makes me happy. And none of that FacebookFameFuckbuddy shit will do that for me. I don't trust my cravings anymore.

    I have nothing smart to say other than I know how you feel and thank you for venting.
     
  5. Leone

    Leone Fapstronaut

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    It takes a lot of practice and time to start feeling positive again. Many of us have let our minds take control of our lives and not bother think too much about it! There is a saying that goes: take one day at a time - The best thing about the future is that it comes one day at a time. Abraham Lincoln... Don't think about tomorrow or the future, just enjoy the journey! And please - don't f... life, it only comes to you once, make the best of it, be the best person you can for yourself and other people. Fill your heart with love, with respect, socialise with positive people who care about you. It's obvious that you have filled yourself with too much negativity and can't seem to get out of it. If you keep hating people you will feel worse everyday! You just want people to understand you,- but how about you start understanding other people instead of hating them? Why do you take the easiest approach? For me it helps when I stop being self-centered and help other people! It can be worse man. I don't know where you live but here where I am I have been doing voluntary work for almost a year and I don't get anything in return, and also I am unemployed. Next week I will travel to another city for 5 hours to go and help families that houses have been flooded. i feel happy when i help other people who have lost everything! Anyway, I am not here to tell my life story but do you get my point? You need to focus on other people too, everyone has needs, everyone needs to be loved like you do. Surely you have made a great decision by coming to this website to stop PMO, it's really bad for anyone and it makes people feel bad about themselves. God bless you man, I am confident you will get better once you realise that we live for other people.
     
  6. Immor

    Immor Fapstronaut

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    Yes, you got a point.
    Do something else than complain about it. Help people get to a higher level. Look harder for good people, because there are not so few of them any more.

    People want to have fun and adventure. Nothing wrong with that. Nothing wrong with facebook, sports, fast cars, ... As long as it isn't all they care about you shoulnd't judge them because of it.

    What is your goal in life? Is it just to be appreciated and live up to expectations? That won't make for a good life.
    You are studying for yourself. Of course noone will pat you on your back for doing something for yourself. Be a friend to people and actually help them, then you can expect that kind of thing.
     
  7. jatar

    jatar Fapstronaut

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    I have similar feelings sometimes, if somewhat less intensive. I can't believe how many people spend half their weekends at the mall and the other half in front of TV watching mind-numbing shows, or going for vacation to the same place that half the country goes just to spend two weeks sunbathing during the day and drinking in the evenings, when there are so many interesting things to see and learn in the world. How disinterested they are in anything that would broaden their mind but requires effort, like reading books or learning new skills. What perplexes me the most though, is how content they seem living their lives that way. Of course, I'm guilty of that myself sometimes, with my problems manifesting most intensively in the form of PMO, so I'm not better than most.

    But we can't force other people to change as we have absolutely no power over them. We can only change ourselves and try to be an example to others of how to live better lives. Some will see that and change their behaviors and others won't. I've met a few people in my life that inspired me to change and I would like to be (I'm definitely not at the moment) that kind of person for others. I think that's what you should try to be - a better person that others can look up to and learn from. It may fit well with your plan to run for an office.
     
  8. mijereah

    mijereah Fapstronaut

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    Man I can totally agree with you and relate. There are days where I don't even know what to do with my life. The past few days have been that way..it's almost like I've met my goals and now I'm just back to the drawing board of figuring out what to do, but I already know the outcome. It's a like a repeated line in a song that gets so old and stale after a while. Sometimes I think I would be better off dead. Man I can tell you..there have been days where I've just not wanted to do anything or even get out of bed. I would ask myself "what's the point" or "why try" because it's like I already know the outcomes. Take the other day for example...I went on a date with a girl and it just sucked. I didn't rreally enjoy it at all. I thought I would, but man did it suck. The sad thing is was that this girl was really hot in the outside but I couldn't connect well with her on the inside. It made me feel even worse when I texted her the next day after the date and she never responded. Here I was thinking I had played my cards right to some extent, and I know for sure there was definitely some things I could not have said during the date that would have made it better, but nonetheless, I just feel like people aren't people.They don't accept your flaws, your failures, your attributes like they should. We put on a facade in life and walk around with this thick cloud of nothingness hanging over our heads. I wish people would just be real, but man something I'm just so sick of reality too, and that's why we often choose PMO. We must learn to face reality in a better way and live this life to the best. Help others, get involved in others lives and look to God for hope. That's all we have man. My best to you.
     
  9. fapequalsdeath

    fapequalsdeath Fapstronaut

    Pff I've been at that stage and I just stopped giving a fuck and started focusing on myself and becoming a better person.
     
  10. tweeby

    tweeby Banned

    Thank you!

    for pointing out somebody I don't want to ever become.
     
  11. Monster Carrot

    Monster Carrot Fapstronaut

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    The activity stream gave you away. Aw man :)
     

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