Urges do not exist!!...urges are a myth

I understand English Is probably not your first language but man you sound foolish

 

Lol NoFap/NoPMO is just the natural thing that happens when you don't have regular actual sex. Those without a respect for this nature seem to end up either "relapsing" (to relieve "that sexual frustration") or "flatlining" (to reject anything sexual/sexually-related because it causes "that sexual frustration").

 

Surprisingly, I agree with most of what you said.

What are urges? They are nothing more than a strong desire to do something, in this case to look at porn. They are an internal battle in our mind. We are lying to ourselves, when we say things like "the urge was too big", "I couldn't resist", etc. Everytime we relapse, we choose to do so. It's never easy to choose the right thing, but it's always possible. In other words: A relapse is simply a bad decision.

The real problem is the decision making: This is the hard part. Sometimes, we don't have enough willpower to decide the right way. We have to keep working on this. If he gain control over our decision making, we have conquered our urges, and therefor our addiction. To gain this sense of control, however, is a very though battle.

However, you said that urges don't exist. I can't agree to that. You even said it yourself. The problem is not the existence of urges, it's how we deal with them and how we decide to act upon them. If you phrase your argument like that, I agree with you.

 

Yes I know lol you're trolling this whole forum

 

You can say that. Just like someone can say they don't believe in free will. But it's bullshit, you all believe in free will. Want proof? When a guy on the street kicks you in the balls you're always going to be angry at the guy and not at the universe.

If we had no consciousness which makes us able to make decisions we would still be animals. Most of our neo-cortical structures in the brain consist of inhibitors. Their function is to suppress impulses.

The reason we were able to develop airplanes isn't because we made an urge to fly bigger than having sex. That's impossible. It's because we actually have the ability to make a choice.

The gods inside you, Eros, Athena, Odin, Seth, Horus, who tug at your will may make you think that you are being ruled by them, but the truth is you always have the final say.

 

That's a philosophical question. Buddhists were discussing that very point many centuries before modern science came along. Not that I am a Buddhist, but I have practiced a little meditation in my time. When we meditate, we observe our own thoughts, but then the question arises - if 'I' (the observer) am observing 'my' thoughts, then 'I' must be separate to those thoughts. So - are they really 'my' thoughts, and if 'I' am not my thought process, then what am I?

The notion that 'I' do not really exist at all - that the notion of a 'self' is an illusion - is taking it one step further. It's an interesting question.

For practical purposes though, what does this mean for our goal of changing our behaviour? Well, I can completely agree that our behaviour comes from what happens inside our own heads, not from something external. I also agree with the idea that we are faced with conflicting desires inside our own heads, and how we behave depends on which set of desires win. I do think that understanding this basic truth is the starting point for learning how to change our behaviour. But again, actually achieving that is something else. I do firmly believe it is possible, but as I say, possible doesn't mean easy.

 

You're refering to the Libet-experiment. This experiment didn't "prove" the absensce of free will. Benjamin Libet only interpretated his results this way and his interpretation was critizied greatly within the scientific community. So, to suggest that the absensce of free will is undisputeted and clearly understood, is just wrong.

 

Good advice! I respectfully disagree i believe urges are VERY real. Its that like a little fire constantly burning inside of you waiting for the gas to be turned up. But it never truly goes away. There's a saying that goes like "you can never kill your demons, you can only learn to live with them." Anyways i respect your opinion even though i disagree with it and thanks for sharing with us!

 

As the others already pointed out it is not proven scientifically. We do not understand the nature of consciousness even remotely to a degree where we could make a statement like "free will is just an illusion".

Our entire society is predicated on the notion of free will. As I mentioned with my kick-in-the-balls-example you treat everyone around you like they have free will. Our laws treat us like we have free will. And that's good.

Just think it through for a moment if we really stopped believing in free will, why should society let you do what you want to do? Why should they trust those imperfect arbitrary reactions inside your brain? You should be controlled by someone who's smarter than you, or even better, an artificial intelligence.
That's a tad dystopian, don't you think?

When I say "you", I mean your core, the part that's detached from emotion and thought. The observer. That which decides. You are your free will.

 

So what? You're unconscious then. I'm talking about conscious activities

 

Urges to do wrong are the result of bad habits. Habitually doing the wrong thing will establish a bad habit and bad habits are hard to break. As you get used to making good decisions again, it'll become more natural. Eventually you'll have established the good habit of saying no to urges and they'll go away (but not completely - you are human after all).

“Watch your thoughts, they become words;
watch your words, they become actions;
watch your actions, they become habits;
watch your habits, they become character;
watch your character, for it becomes your destiny.”