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I’m sick of this. I want to stop for good.

Discussion in 'Compulsive Sexual Behavior' started by Underground Man, Apr 15, 2019.

  1. Underground Man

    Underground Man New Fapstronaut

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    Back in January-February, I managed to get to 20+ days, a landmark in my journey, which started last September (do you remember?), but since then, I haven’t been able to go past day 6-7, because there’s a voice in my head that manages to convince me that it isn’t such a bad idea, and that same voice makes me go back to my old devious ways.

    Trigger warning.

    I don’t find men attractive, at all, zilch, but for some reason (which I’ve come to believe is porn) I find myself fantasizing about being used by men, as if I were a woman. This obviously got me to watch strange porn (feminized men, gay porn, transsexuals, etc.), which I despise and every single time I finish the deed I feel repulsed by my own antics. It’s as if something takes control of me, something I’ve come to recognize as the devil (if you’re into religion). I don’t want to do this anymore, I’ve escalated this far enough. I’ve sexted with strangers and masturbated anally, it’s disgusting. I will forever regret this, but I must stop first.

    End of trigger warning.

    I just wanna know how to stop for good, how to fight the temptation and how to stay strong. I’m much too weak when confronted with my sexual desires and I need to overcome them, they’re destroying my discipline, my confidence, it’s ridiculous.

    Please help. I relapsed about 20 minutes ago, currently starting a new streak (no-P, no-M, no-O and no-nothing), I’m aiming for as long as I can manage, at the very least 7 days.
     
    Deleted Account likes this.
  2. Brown Boy

    Brown Boy Fapstronaut

  3. James02

    James02 Fapstronaut

    How are you refactoring your plan so you can achieve 7 days?
     
  4. TimeToQuitNow

    TimeToQuitNow Fapstronaut

    Just remember that the short term fun isn't worth the long time down sides. Good luck
     
  5. My friend thank you for reaching out . I have been down this road and I know how dark it can get. But believe me...you can change you can mentality destroy this demon. It's not real...I'm 26 days in of my 90 day reboot but for me in the back if my mind it might as well be 2006 days because I am not going back at all we have too much to live for my friend DM me let talk and help you to get started day 1 lets GO!!
     
  6. nef

    nef Fapstronaut

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    Make a target of 10 days to divert mind from p use online gaming start learning something drawing digital art something that will help you in future
     
  7. Fork2323

    Fork2323 Fapstronaut

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    The addiction like crack needs more and more and bizzar wierdness. Yes the sex demons are real and they own you. They made you their bitch and laugh as they control and humiliate you. You need to take direct strong action to purge the dark energy from your life. Just deciding to not do it again is not enough. If your clothes get full of mud, you cant just decide they are now clean, you actully have to take action and wash them. Well your mind and spirit got dirty and you need to clean them and not roll around in dirt again.
    1. Put a porn blocker on all your devices. Just give up. You lost. Surrender and get help and an Accountability partner to control the password so you dont have access to porn.
    2. Clean your environment. Wash all your sheets and bedding with salt in the washer to disintigrate all the toxic energy you release in your sleep. Use rubbing alcohol on a cloth and wipe off your chair, computer keyboard, mouse, cellphone, table and entire area you use porn.
    3. Play spiritually high vibration music and videos on your devices to clear out toxic energy. It can be Tibetin monks chanting healing prayers or the Lords Prayer the Our Father, or anything. On youtube there are tons to choose from. Play videos of Jesus or Buddha or any saints on these devices to clear toxic energy.. Burn sage, and sandle wood insence around them too.
    4. Take a salt bath. Put 4 canisters of table salt into hot bath and soak. Or go in the ocean. Do deep breathing and say a prayer to release all the toxic energy and negative entities from your physical, emotional, and mental bodies into the salt water to be disintegrated and neutralized.
    5. Hit the gym or go running and work out to purge the toxic energy from your body and cells.
    6. Do service and help others and volunteer at homeless feeding program or any place you can that helps save lives. When you help save lives your own life gets saved. It is a karmic law no matter what mood you are in or even if you dont want to do it the results still come. Help others and you get helped. Plus it will really boost your self-esteem a ton.
     
    Vitoriosa likes this.

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