HOCD/Anxiety - please help

Hi all, I’ve been a long time browser but I’m a first time poster. I’ll try to keep this short and as quick as possible but really need someone’s opinion as this is now driving me insane.

As far back as I can remember even being aged 3-4 I was very sexual (even imaging doing things to my female nursery teacher at such ayoung age) this all come naturally and didn’t stem from any kind of abuse.

Growing up and through pre school, always had crushes on girls (thought I loved them even at like 8-9)

In my teens I was like any other ofmy friends and I talked about girls, chased girls, and at 15, kissed a girl for the first time, shortly after my sex life started, I loved it.. I remember my GF at the time (we were both sitting downstairs with family) both looked at each other and said let’s go upstairs (for sex) and we would do thisconstantly any where we could. all normal I assume.

Again at this time, onto the next girl, more sex, next girl, more sex and so on.

Move forward 7-8 years and I remember watching porn (again only straight porn at the time however I’dbeen watching porn since I was 15 and I was 24 at the time so 9 years of straight porn) I accidentally clicked ongay porn and found it arrousing I wasin shock but thinking why do I like this? Anyway from then onwards I stilllived normally, no anxiety no HOCD nothing. I would still watch straightporn but sometimes would switch to gay porn because I felt like it was arush and was almost a taboo? 2 years on I would continue this habit (still dating girls and having straight sex) until recently where I had a lot of stress at work and at home I couldn’t get an erection with my gf and Igoogled it and on some forum somewhere else a poster had asked why he couldn’t get hard and someone replied “your probably gay bro” and from that moment I’ve been plagued by that very post. I’mconvinced I’ve turned gay, and I feel like my love for girls has almost vanished they feel like they just don’t do it for me, I used to be obsessed with girls asses, managed 30 days without PMO, had amazing sex with my girl on day 30 and then started having urges and the need to test myself with gay porn, tested myself found it arousing and I’m back in square one.

Please someone help

 

I agree with your reply, thankyou