so I need some serious advice about how I should go forward with something. Please don’t think I’m dumb... There is a friend of mine at church. He’s a great guy and I enjoy his company and his conversations. Love talking with hi. He and his whole family are really into theology like me. ADVICE PART. I find myself attracted to his oldest sister. She loves God and is smart, kind, and beautiful. I have been playing with the idea of asking her if I could take her out on a date. I am going of to college in the coming fall. I will be staying in-state and so will she. On the one hand, I don’t want to pass up a chance, but on the other, I am worried that she won’t be interested in starting something with college coming up. Advice please and be as blunt as you need to be.
Ask her to coffee - keep it low-key and ask her all kinds of questions about herself! No sense in not trying - any time I've done that I've kicked myself for it later. Worst thing that can happen is you'll get a no and you'll be back here, only you'll know now and actually be better off! Ask her to coffee! If she says, "what, like a date?" Ham it up and be all, "Well, I was thinking coffee, but if you wanted a date i wouldn't be opposed!" This'll be fun! Go for it!
Ask her out brother, the worst that can happen is she says, "no" in which case it's her loss because your only going for coffee and to get to know her. Your young and there will be plenty of other opportunities to ask girls out if she says no anyway. If you want to add an insurance policy to your confidence then warm her up first over a few weeks by approaching her and just developing a few small conversations with her and assessing the vibe, you will know if you want to go then for coffee. Also make sure she isn't already seeing someone, girls like guys who are confident and chances are if you approach her she will feel more comfortable next time you talk.
Well I did it. I asked if I could take her to lunch and she said... no. I think I'm starting to get God's message. It sucks to think about though. Maybe he's telling me to just be content with what I've been given. I felt really sad about it. Just a thought I've told myself and I wonder what you guy's think: crying about a girl telling you no to your advances is like a 5 year old child crying because his parents told him no. Am I petty and selfish for being sad. Thanks for the advice guys, but I think God might be trying to get a message across to me.
Don't worry about it man, I was rejected big time when I was young and yeah it was hard, God will use these situations to shape your character because ultimately your identity comes from Him regardless of whether people reject you or not. The most important thing you need to do is socialise with people you get along with and be friends with many different girls and keep prayerful, ask God to send you the right woman. Theres got to be more girls out there at church or in your social situations - remember, love is not blind infatuation is, you will get over her eventually, I know it sucks but don't worry, its a learning experience. I used to take rejection hard, be very careful, the enemy will begin to sow this seed more in your heart if it happens again, you must know God better than your desire for the opposite sex.
I appreciate the the comfort. Is it selfish to pray for God to “send you the right woman”? I just feel selfish when I ask for things like that because I should be happy with what I’ve already been givin.
Eh, if Jesus didn't want you to pray for things, he wouldn't have instructed his disciples to...pray to God asking for things. That said, I do think there's a lot of truth to the (non-biblical) proverb, "God helps those who help themselves". I'd focus more on cleaning up your own act than trying to find someone at the moment. Become the kind of person you'd be proud of your daughter dating, before you try to date someone else's daughter. ...Not that I'm saying you have to become perfect before you date, y'know? You'd be guaranteed single for life if you were like that. Just, being a couple months over porn is probably a good starting point. I'm sure you've seen the handful of porn addicts' wives on these forums and the pain it causes them.
