Is it okay to MO to the thought of your SO?

There is a difference between "bad" and "unhealthy".

I personally don't think it's morally wrong to MO to thoughts of your SO. But for me, and for many in recovery, it is very unhealthy to do that because it leads to more and more temptation.

Only you can decide if that counts as a relapse.

 

There's no rule to this. It might be a slippery slope and it might not. For me I fear it would be, but for you? You've started an experiment, report back and let us know how it goes.

===== EDIT =====

And then I read this post:

That's crazy - we are using the same words and everything. Some kind of Vulcan mind-meld.

 

Why did you get into nofap?

 

Try this:

 

You are doing good just by cutting down porn to a once a week, etc. Did you have PIED or lost of libido? Doesn't seem like it..

 

Experiment, note your temptations and write them here. If MO to fantasy of your GF keeps you PMO free in the short term, use that in moderation as no PMO is the goal.

For me that was part of my recovery but I did later (and currently) decide to cut out MO and just work on real sexual activities...... Which need a lot of work! MO was too easy in comparison and that's something it shared with PMO.

My whole counter time is MO free (as I write this, 100+ days)

 

Did you involve your SO in the decision? For me, any sexual interaction between us is healthy and allowed, but any solo M is not. If we are apart, then we can M together but apart, but we mostly choose to wait until we are both together in person. Sex or my wife's touch, after a few days' wait, is much more enjoyable than masturbating while sexting or on a video call with her. But when apart for longer periods, it is a good way to preserve intimacy and sexual connection.

Solo masturbation, whatever the erotic stimulus is, is still a lonely experience to me that has only pleasure going for it: I do not feel loved, desired, or better connected if I have a wank over thought of my wife. If I share with her my thoughts about her, and she responds in kind, I feel connected and desired. Then, I can enjoy the thought of how we might later celebrate and indulge in our mutual erotic thoughts for one another. You can never get that from solo M. There will be something missig from the experience, and there is a risk of chasing that where you will never find it (P or P-Subs) and falling into old behaviours of PMO.

You need to decide for yourself what is and is not acceptable for you. You need to communicate with your SO and decide between you what your collective stance is on M. As I said, I never M without involving my wife in the act as it is happening, with her consent (not simply telling her what I'm doing, but rather telling her how I am feeling, and initiating an interactive, mutual and shared sexual experience). This works better for me in avoiding PMO or old patterns of negative thinkig and behaviour. I reccommend it.

 

Also, delete the pictures. You don't need them. Your naked girlfriend is superior to those patterns of pixels. If you choose to sext and M to each other in the future, she can send more that you can delete immediately after. To keep the pictures is to plan to use them. To plan to use them is to plan to relapse. Don't do that.

Good luck.